Today an author who is writing a book about "reunions" with lost loved ones asked me to share the story of my friend Roy.
We Were Like Twin Souls, Accepting Each Other Down to the Core
I would bring back my best friend Roy Moyer. He died of AIDS 21 years ago, at the age of 29. We met at freshman orientation at Florida State University in Tallahassee, in 1976. I looked across the room and saw this tall, handsome Nordic blond guy. I said to myself: ‘There is my life’s best friend.” We became like brother and sister, closer even: like twin souls.
For years, we did everything together. We giggled and laughed and disco danced through the seventies. We were housemates our senior year; we fixed hundreds of awesome dinners together; we shopped and traveled together, and we shared our inner most feelings and experiences. In fact sharing something with Roy was often the best part of a new event in my life and hearing something wonderful that Roy experienced made me as happy as it made him.
Roy was warm and funny, goofy and silly in a Dudley Doo Right kind of way. He was kind and loving and generous and had a deep full laugh that was contagious. We accepted each other down to the core. Someone loving you that much made you feel loved absolutely. Roy taught me that people showed their love in different ways even saying Patti when I fix your broken necklace I am showing I love you when I reach something from a high shelf for you I am showing that I love you and I know when you have my favorite big BLT fixed for me at lunch you are loving me when you let me sing off key through a long car ride you’re showing that you love me.
We were tender and affectionate with one another always hugging each other and cuddling on the couch, but not in a sexual way. I was not attracted to him, which worked well as he was gay. Instead, we completed each other.
After college, he moved to Atlanta and became a social worker. I went to Auburn University to pursue a Master’s degree, and then returned to Tallahassee to begin a Ph.D. program. Roy and I where as close as ever. We talked for hours on our weekly phone calls and visited each other every few months.
I lived in a small town where I couldn't’t go shopping without running into someone I knew. Roy and I were so close that when my friends in Tallahassee would see me they would always ask, “How are you?” “How is Roy?”
I had a four-bedroom house with a big fenced-in yard that my dog would play in. I took martial arts classes, and I had a group of friends that were like a second family. I had a steady boyfriend. I’d eat grape nuts for breakfast and joke with my roommate about our crazy dream from the night before. I’d start my day singing in the shower and then get in my car singing along with the songs on my radio and go to work.
I had my own consulting company and taught communication at Florida State; my class in nonverbal communication had 150 students enrolled each semester. I was living a happily-ever-after existence, and Roy always a part of me and me always a part of him was so very happy too.
When we were both 29 Roy and I were walking in Atlanta’s Piedmont Park his big 6’2 frame towering above my petite two inches. It was a beautiful spring day as we circled the lake and I was blissfully breathing the fragrant flowered air. As we rounded a curve, Roy stopped, brushed back his blond hair, turned toward me and said, “Patti, I’m dying.”
I heard a loud gut-wrenching scream crying “No!” echo across the lake. It took me a moment to realize the scream was mine.
In that moment, everything in my life began to change. I knew with certainty I had to move to Atlanta to be with Roy. I didn’t ask him if he wanted me to come, I just decided. People thought I was crazy. But it was really selfish – I just had to be with him.
Within a few days, my boyfriend had broken up with me - he was afraid of being infected from my innocent friendship with Roy - and I began getting rid of my belongings. I sold almost everything in the house down to the bare walls. I took the cash and left my house, my friends, and my speaking business. I took a job as at temp receptionist in Atlanta to make ends meet, exchanging a $500-a-day speaking life for a $6.50-an-hour wage. Instead of being treated with respect and admiration, I was treated like a servant.
I took a small apartment and fitfully slept on a borrowed mattress on the floor of my closet. I was alone in a city filled with strangers. I would visit Roy every day he was in the hospital and sit on the edge of his bed, holding his hand. And though Roy and I would laugh as we always did, our jokes were about the glove-wearing hospital staff that tried to avoid touching him, his new free hospital gown wardrobe with built in”ties in back” air-conditioning and about his new easy diet plan, we called “Wendy’s drive through” a drip from a stand above his bed when he could no longer eat.
Over the year I watched him decline, he went from a being a strapping six foot 2 inch man to an emaciated 90-pounds that I could carry in my arms. I would return home each night, take a shower and weep uncontrollably. My sleep was filled with concentration camp filled nightmares. I saw Roy lose his ability to first walk, then to eat, then to remember, to speak and finally his ability to breathe.
Roy died in July before his 30th birthday. I could not believe that the world would keep spinning without that sweet boy. I could not believe that I didn’t die too. I was so surprised that I could actually go on breathing without him. His family insisted I have his ashes. He told me before he died he wanted me to have them so he could come to my wedding.
The reunion I envision would start out with just for the two of us. We would walk around his beloved Piedmont Park in Atlanta. As we walked, we’d catch up on each other’s news. We’d laugh about him never getting older than 29 and the fact that I, at 50, was still a tiny blond.
We would cry over having missed so many dinners and trips with each other. I’d tell him about the speaking practice I rebuilt after he died. I’d express regret that I haven’t yet married, so don’t yet have a son I can name Roy. I’d tell him how sorry I am that his sickness prevented him from marrying the man he loved, who later also died of AIDS.
Then we’d go for dinner at one of his favorite restaurants. He loved fine foods. We’d meet up with friends after dinner and go dancing together until the wee hours.
And I’d thank him for being the best friend in the world to me, for making my life so much richer through the gift of his unconditional love.
--Patti Wood, 50, Atlanta, GA, motivational speaker and consultant on nonverbal
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
The Preview Frame is the agenda or table of contents for your speech.
Many speakers that are in my public speaking workshops or that I coach one on one have problems rambling on and on in their speeches. Sometimes they get pulled off topic by a question, sometimes they meander from the content of a slide to something they find interesting. What ever causes a speaker to go "off point" the solution is to create a easy method to stay on point. So when you write and give your speech make sure you have a set of main points that support your purpose sentence. The ideal number is three. (see my other blog entry on the power of three) These main points are the outline or agenda of your speech. Following the metaphor in my book Easy Speaking that building a speech is like building a house the main points are the frame work or the house. You state it in the introduction of the speech to give a preview of "coming attractions."
The is the structure of the house. A preview reveals the presentation’s main points and the order in which they will go. The best way to do this is to say the number of the points out loud so people can easily divide the chunks of information and follow them throughout the speech.
For shorter presentations:
“You’ll walk out of here with three ways to prioritize your time.” “When we finish this session, you will be able to list the four most effective public relations techniques.”
Today you will learn the three benefits of our product.
For long presentations say what those points will be.
“. . . And to do this, first, you’ll learn about the early history of the organization; second, of its rapid development; third, about its present stature; and finally, about its prospects for the future.”
Many speakers that are in my public speaking workshops or that I coach one on one have problems rambling on and on in their speeches. Sometimes they get pulled off topic by a question, sometimes they meander from the content of a slide to something they find interesting. What ever causes a speaker to go "off point" the solution is to create a easy method to stay on point. So when you write and give your speech make sure you have a set of main points that support your purpose sentence. The ideal number is three. (see my other blog entry on the power of three) These main points are the outline or agenda of your speech. Following the metaphor in my book Easy Speaking that building a speech is like building a house the main points are the frame work or the house. You state it in the introduction of the speech to give a preview of "coming attractions."
The is the structure of the house. A preview reveals the presentation’s main points and the order in which they will go. The best way to do this is to say the number of the points out loud so people can easily divide the chunks of information and follow them throughout the speech.
For shorter presentations:
“You’ll walk out of here with three ways to prioritize your time.” “When we finish this session, you will be able to list the four most effective public relations techniques.”
Today you will learn the three benefits of our product.
For long presentations say what those points will be.
“. . . And to do this, first, you’ll learn about the early history of the organization; second, of its rapid development; third, about its present stature; and finally, about its prospects for the future.”
Friday, April 10, 2009
A Six Word Speech
One of my professional groups for speakers is having a contest. The object is to create six word speeches. Yep that is correct write your speech using only six words. So off the top of my head here are a few of mine.Body Language – Read people from the outside in.
Sales – Tell me why I should buy?
Speaking – Inspire me to listen to you
Speaking – Connect your thoughts to listeners lives
I think this is a great exercise for you when you are writing a speech. What is the purpose? What is the objective of your speech? What is the point you want everyone to know? Now write it in six words.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
How do you "gently" sell your books as a speaker?
I have several books and my own publishing company, “Another Day Publishing.” My best sales technique is to pre-sale books to the client so they can give them to all the audience members when I give a speech.
If I don’t pre-sale I tie my signings to my speeches and that works very very well. I find I get more people that will come up and buy a book and have me sign it if I stay up at the front of the room and stand so I have a table at the front of the room and I stay near it and sign standing. When you are hidden behind a table your more difficult to approach and ask questions. I am a touchy feely person, it's not surprise I am a body language expert after all. I notice that I naturally reach out and touch the forearm of people as they come towards me to ask a question so they feel comfortable self disclosing and magically that seems to increase purchases from those people. I also have my books on CD which are big sellers for commuters, people don’t always want to read. If I offer a book and a CD of the book at a discount that sells very well.
I also sell very well on line buy doing free tele-seminars and offering the book at a discount if they buy it that day with a special code. I send out a monthly newsletter an occasionally I offer a extra free book if they buy my body language book. Other things that work well for me I do a lot of media interviews and I have all print media list me as author Success Signals and having TV put up the photo of the book. My best sales week was when I was on a History Channel Special the second was when I did a interview on O'Reilly Factor on Sara Palin's body language.
I have been approached several times by major publishers to do a book because this media platform works so well.
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.pattiwood.net/
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com/ .com
I have several books and my own publishing company, “Another Day Publishing.” My best sales technique is to pre-sale books to the client so they can give them to all the audience members when I give a speech.
If I don’t pre-sale I tie my signings to my speeches and that works very very well. I find I get more people that will come up and buy a book and have me sign it if I stay up at the front of the room and stand so I have a table at the front of the room and I stay near it and sign standing. When you are hidden behind a table your more difficult to approach and ask questions. I am a touchy feely person, it's not surprise I am a body language expert after all. I notice that I naturally reach out and touch the forearm of people as they come towards me to ask a question so they feel comfortable self disclosing and magically that seems to increase purchases from those people. I also have my books on CD which are big sellers for commuters, people don’t always want to read. If I offer a book and a CD of the book at a discount that sells very well.
I also sell very well on line buy doing free tele-seminars and offering the book at a discount if they buy it that day with a special code. I send out a monthly newsletter an occasionally I offer a extra free book if they buy my body language book. Other things that work well for me I do a lot of media interviews and I have all print media list me as author Success Signals and having TV put up the photo of the book. My best sales week was when I was on a History Channel Special the second was when I did a interview on O'Reilly Factor on Sara Palin's body language.
I have been approached several times by major publishers to do a book because this media platform works so well.
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.pattiwood.net/
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com/ .com
So I just gave you tips to stop bad breath and then I read a great article on what to do with someone with bad table manners. Here is the link to Askabacholor.
Guess who’s coming to dinner?When table manners go seriously wrong
By Blane Bachelor
I recently broke up with my ex, but was wondering something. The whole time we were dating, I couldn't stand the noises he made when he ate. He was so loud I would have to turn up the television. It was like he was inhaling his food and couldn’t eat fast enough. I obviously didn’t break up with him because of this, but it grossed me out and definitely got on my nerves. What is a tactful way to tell your partner when something like this bothers you? I never said anything, so it just got more and more annoying each time he did it. —Desperately Seeking Earplugs During DinnerThere’s no easy way to tell someone he has the table manners of Jabba the Hutt. But sitting in silence—well, except for all the smacking and slurping—is no way to go either. Next time you come across this problem, here are a couple of options: The Gentle Route: Prepare a nice dinner, light some candles and turn off the damn TV already. When you set the scene for romance and lingering, it’s harder to let manners fall by the wayside. The Not-So-Gentle Route: Several strategies could work here. Tell him, straight up, that he needs to learn the difference between eating and feeding. Discreetly set up a laptop with the webcam running while he’s chowing down, and play the evidence for him later. Listen to your iPod during dinner. Mimic his habits, amplifying them in volume and intensity, throwing in a few burps, snorts and hand-wipes-across the face in for good measure, until he gets the picture. Finally, warn him his vile manners are not only making you lose your appetite, but your sex drive, too. The Out-the-Door Route: If you’ve talked about it, and he doesn’t care enough about his self-image to change (remind him about the impression he’s making at a business lunch), I see no reason why you wouldn’t break up with someone over this. Food is a central part of our lives, and you shouldn’t have to suffer through Slurpfest ’09 at every meal. SPFreelance writer and columnist Blane Bachelor doles out dating and relationship advice in this space most every week. Submit your questions at www.askabachelor
Guess who’s coming to dinner?When table manners go seriously wrong
By Blane Bachelor
I recently broke up with my ex, but was wondering something. The whole time we were dating, I couldn't stand the noises he made when he ate. He was so loud I would have to turn up the television. It was like he was inhaling his food and couldn’t eat fast enough. I obviously didn’t break up with him because of this, but it grossed me out and definitely got on my nerves. What is a tactful way to tell your partner when something like this bothers you? I never said anything, so it just got more and more annoying each time he did it. —Desperately Seeking Earplugs During DinnerThere’s no easy way to tell someone he has the table manners of Jabba the Hutt. But sitting in silence—well, except for all the smacking and slurping—is no way to go either. Next time you come across this problem, here are a couple of options: The Gentle Route: Prepare a nice dinner, light some candles and turn off the damn TV already. When you set the scene for romance and lingering, it’s harder to let manners fall by the wayside. The Not-So-Gentle Route: Several strategies could work here. Tell him, straight up, that he needs to learn the difference between eating and feeding. Discreetly set up a laptop with the webcam running while he’s chowing down, and play the evidence for him later. Listen to your iPod during dinner. Mimic his habits, amplifying them in volume and intensity, throwing in a few burps, snorts and hand-wipes-across the face in for good measure, until he gets the picture. Finally, warn him his vile manners are not only making you lose your appetite, but your sex drive, too. The Out-the-Door Route: If you’ve talked about it, and he doesn’t care enough about his self-image to change (remind him about the impression he’s making at a business lunch), I see no reason why you wouldn’t break up with someone over this. Food is a central part of our lives, and you shouldn’t have to suffer through Slurpfest ’09 at every meal. SPFreelance writer and columnist Blane Bachelor doles out dating and relationship advice in this space most every week. Submit your questions at www.askabachelor
I have a longer post on bad breath and the social meaning on my body language sight, but a media source today was seeing more cures and preventatives so here is my list again for all the speakers out there.
There are long lists of things to do to prevent bad breath from eating lots of fruits and veggies, chewing your food thoroughly to release the enzymes the clean your teeth of bacteria, chewing sugarless gum (this also helps you release teeth cleaning enzymes.) swirling water in your mouth after you eat out to get rid of food particles. (works well if you don’t have a tooth brush), to brushing the backside of your teeth and the top of your tongue, and flossing with mint floss.
There are also a lot of remedies if you think you have bad breath, from eating parsley ( a great natural remedy) to gargling all the way in the back of your throat. Make sure your gargle does not contain alcohol that dries the tissue and increases bad breath or sugar. Make sure if you have bad breath that it is not a sign of illness.
I am a body language expert and the former National spokes person for the Natural Dentist a line of dental care products and I have done research on smiling and the effect of dental health and how people respond to others. Don’t forget the silent message of good breath.
There are long lists of things to do to prevent bad breath from eating lots of fruits and veggies, chewing your food thoroughly to release the enzymes the clean your teeth of bacteria, chewing sugarless gum (this also helps you release teeth cleaning enzymes.) swirling water in your mouth after you eat out to get rid of food particles. (works well if you don’t have a tooth brush), to brushing the backside of your teeth and the top of your tongue, and flossing with mint floss.
There are also a lot of remedies if you think you have bad breath, from eating parsley ( a great natural remedy) to gargling all the way in the back of your throat. Make sure your gargle does not contain alcohol that dries the tissue and increases bad breath or sugar. Make sure if you have bad breath that it is not a sign of illness.
I am a body language expert and the former National spokes person for the Natural Dentist a line of dental care products and I have done research on smiling and the effect of dental health and how people respond to others. Don’t forget the silent message of good breath.
Friday, April 03, 2009
I am one of the luckiest people on the planet. I use to do “shows” as a kid. I would be Herman of the Hermits and sing and dance with my friends and I was Queen of the Cooties on the playground and was the leader of all the games, whether it was who can make the biggest bubble with the bubble maker, built the best fort, or who can make the snowman that last the longest (doesn’t melt first) From forth grade on I also loved to watch people and I would write little poems and songs about what I saw, I carried a little notebook with me all the time from forth grade till college and filled it with my fun observations. And even learned to play the guitar so I could sing them. I loved playing and I loved the game of watching people and trying to figure out their secret story. Now I get to do it all my favorite play as living. I am a body language expert. (I actually have degrees in nonverbal communication.) And I am a professional speaker and trainer and get to play interactive games with my audience. (See my website for videos of how much fun we have.)
Take Care,
Patti
Patti Wood MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Keynotes & Communication Training
Contact us at our new # 404-315-7397
Email Us: Patti@PattiWood.net
Website: www.PattiWood.net
Blog: www.BodyLanguageLady@blogspot.com
U-Tube: www.utube/com/user/bodylanguageexpert
For Free Body Language & Other Communication Tip, Click Here!
Take Care,
Patti
Patti Wood MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Keynotes & Communication Training
Contact us at our new # 404-315-7397
Email Us: Patti@PattiWood.net
Website: www.PattiWood.net
Blog: www.BodyLanguageLady@blogspot.com
U-Tube: www.utube/com/user/bodylanguageexpert
For Free Body Language & Other Communication Tip, Click Here!
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Here is a rough of story I wrote quite awhile ago to give in a speech, but realized I wasn't ready to share. I am thinking of working on it again.
Once upon a time I was living happily ever after. I wake up in a four bedroom house with a big fenced in backyard that my dog would play in. I eat grape nuts for breakfast and joke with my roommate about our latest crazy dream the night before, get in my car singing with all the songs on the radio and go to work. I had my own consulting comply and taught communication at Florida state one of my class nonverbal communication classes was incredibly popular with 150 students enrolled every semester. I lived in a small town where I couldn’t go shopping without running into someone I know and share hug. I dance down the corridors at school and the sidewalks of my town meet everyone with heartfelt smile. And I had the best, “Best Friend” in the world Roy who I incredibly close to. I was Polly reincarnated. It was nauseating. In the evenings I would work on my books our go to my nightly martial arts class with a group of friends that was like a my second family. I shared much of my time with a sweet and brilliant boyfriend. I was blessed with deep friend ships were I felt loved and could give my love freely. Snow white and Cinderella had nothing on me I was truly living happily ever after.
I went On a trip to see my best friend Roy in Atlanta. We met at freshman orientation. I looked across the room coming from this tall Nordic blonde guy and said to myself, ‘There is my life’s best friend. We were like brother and sister ever since. We were so close that friends called us twin.. We did everything together for years, we disco danced through the seventies, were housemates are senior year, fixed hundreds of awesome dinners together, shopped and traveled together, and always were excited to share the best thing that happened to us since we saw each other last. In face sometimes sharing something with Roy was the best part of a new event in my life Friends refereed to Roy as my twin. We were truly like twin souls. Roy and I, took a walk around Piedmont park. It was a beautiful spring day as we circled the lake and I was blissful breathing the fragrant flowered air. As we rounded the curve Roy brushed back his blonde hair and looked me and said. “Patti I’m dying.” I heard a scream echo across the lake. A loud gut wrenching scream crying no.! It took me a moment to realize the scream was mine.
In that moment everything in my life began to change. I knew with certainty I had to move to Atlanta to be with Roy.
Within a few days my boyfriend had broken up with me and I had told everyone I would be coming back next year to teach. Within a few months, I had sold almost everything in my house down to the bare walls took the cash left my house my friends my speaking business. I took a job as at temp receptionist and went from my past 600 dollar a day speaking to making six dollars and fifty cents. instead of the love respect and admiration I was use to people treated me the receptionist like a servant. there was no place to go. I lived in small apartment and slept on the floor of my closet on a borrowed mattress. I had no energy to do martial arts or writing. I was alone in city filled with strangers. I would visit Roy in the hospital and sit on the edge of his bed and hold hands with him. And though Roy and I would laugh as we always did. We would make jokes about his new diet plan when he had a drip and could no longer eat. We would tease about cook kooties when hospital staff tried not to touch him. But over the year I saw him go from a 6.2 strapping blonde to a emaciated 90 pounds I could carry. I would come each night get in the shower and weep uncontrollably after I watched him lose his ability to; walk to see to eat and finally his ability to breathe. I yet I still lived.
I yet I still lived I still woke up in the morning and had grapenuts for breakfast still continued the journey though it was no longer into the sunset but instead through the abysses.. I had no house to ride no sword at my side amour to protect me. All that I had used to define my self was gone I wasn’t a teacher a writer a successful speaker a girlfriend a talented martial artists. I was no longer the happy smiling patti who sang and danced through the day. I was laid bare, and naked to the world , I was reborn.
We have all suffered . Everyone in this room had loss and suffering in their life. It's through that loss of self, the suffering ,the journey through fire that we are made stronger. That we learn to value love.
Once upon a time I was living happily ever after. I wake up in a four bedroom house with a big fenced in backyard that my dog would play in. I eat grape nuts for breakfast and joke with my roommate about our latest crazy dream the night before, get in my car singing with all the songs on the radio and go to work. I had my own consulting comply and taught communication at Florida state one of my class nonverbal communication classes was incredibly popular with 150 students enrolled every semester. I lived in a small town where I couldn’t go shopping without running into someone I know and share hug. I dance down the corridors at school and the sidewalks of my town meet everyone with heartfelt smile. And I had the best, “Best Friend” in the world Roy who I incredibly close to. I was Polly reincarnated. It was nauseating. In the evenings I would work on my books our go to my nightly martial arts class with a group of friends that was like a my second family. I shared much of my time with a sweet and brilliant boyfriend. I was blessed with deep friend ships were I felt loved and could give my love freely. Snow white and Cinderella had nothing on me I was truly living happily ever after.
I went On a trip to see my best friend Roy in Atlanta. We met at freshman orientation. I looked across the room coming from this tall Nordic blonde guy and said to myself, ‘There is my life’s best friend. We were like brother and sister ever since. We were so close that friends called us twin.. We did everything together for years, we disco danced through the seventies, were housemates are senior year, fixed hundreds of awesome dinners together, shopped and traveled together, and always were excited to share the best thing that happened to us since we saw each other last. In face sometimes sharing something with Roy was the best part of a new event in my life Friends refereed to Roy as my twin. We were truly like twin souls. Roy and I, took a walk around Piedmont park. It was a beautiful spring day as we circled the lake and I was blissful breathing the fragrant flowered air. As we rounded the curve Roy brushed back his blonde hair and looked me and said. “Patti I’m dying.” I heard a scream echo across the lake. A loud gut wrenching scream crying no.! It took me a moment to realize the scream was mine.
In that moment everything in my life began to change. I knew with certainty I had to move to Atlanta to be with Roy.
Within a few days my boyfriend had broken up with me and I had told everyone I would be coming back next year to teach. Within a few months, I had sold almost everything in my house down to the bare walls took the cash left my house my friends my speaking business. I took a job as at temp receptionist and went from my past 600 dollar a day speaking to making six dollars and fifty cents. instead of the love respect and admiration I was use to people treated me the receptionist like a servant. there was no place to go. I lived in small apartment and slept on the floor of my closet on a borrowed mattress. I had no energy to do martial arts or writing. I was alone in city filled with strangers. I would visit Roy in the hospital and sit on the edge of his bed and hold hands with him. And though Roy and I would laugh as we always did. We would make jokes about his new diet plan when he had a drip and could no longer eat. We would tease about cook kooties when hospital staff tried not to touch him. But over the year I saw him go from a 6.2 strapping blonde to a emaciated 90 pounds I could carry. I would come each night get in the shower and weep uncontrollably after I watched him lose his ability to; walk to see to eat and finally his ability to breathe. I yet I still lived.
I yet I still lived I still woke up in the morning and had grapenuts for breakfast still continued the journey though it was no longer into the sunset but instead through the abysses.. I had no house to ride no sword at my side amour to protect me. All that I had used to define my self was gone I wasn’t a teacher a writer a successful speaker a girlfriend a talented martial artists. I was no longer the happy smiling patti who sang and danced through the day. I was laid bare, and naked to the world , I was reborn.
We have all suffered . Everyone in this room had loss and suffering in their life. It's through that loss of self, the suffering ,the journey through fire that we are made stronger. That we learn to value love.
Friday, March 27, 2009
How Can You Tell She is in To You.
More of Health Magazine Interview
If you’re physically attracted to a man, you might reach out with open palms or push your hair behind your ear with your palm facing out. That’s a signal to his brain that you’re open to flirting and seduction, Wood says. -Similarly, turning the upper part of your chest toward a person—what Wood calls “the heart window”—and pointing your toes toward someone show openness to being approached, and a desire to connect whether it’s a romantic interest or a potential new friend.
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
More of Health Magazine Interview
If you’re physically attracted to a man, you might reach out with open palms or push your hair behind your ear with your palm facing out. That’s a signal to his brain that you’re open to flirting and seduction, Wood says. -Similarly, turning the upper part of your chest toward a person—what Wood calls “the heart window”—and pointing your toes toward someone show openness to being approached, and a desire to connect whether it’s a romantic interest or a potential new friend.
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
Thursday, March 26, 2009
I have a group of friends that meets every Thursday night. Over the past three years we have talked about so many things. Each week we bring questions on a slip of paper. We put the slips of paper in the center of the table and someone picks one and answers it and we go around the table and each person answers it. During the "turn" we can ask them questions, but we can't attack their answer. Today I was brainstorming questions for a book someone is writing and I realized that would be great for the group and great questions for you to use to start interesting conversation. Here they are.
In ten years what will I be glad that I did?
In ten years what would I regret not having done?
Do I want children?
What is my legacy?
If I am in a relationship am I being honored and respected?
How have I shown my love today?
What is the mission statement for my life this year?
Is there something I am keeping to myself about some I love that I need to say out loud?
What am a grateful for today?
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
In ten years what will I be glad that I did?
In ten years what would I regret not having done?
Do I want children?
What is my legacy?
If I am in a relationship am I being honored and respected?
How have I shown my love today?
What is the mission statement for my life this year?
Is there something I am keeping to myself about some I love that I need to say out loud?
What am a grateful for today?
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com .com
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Take Away Worry Tools
I am sitting in my office in my peach colored bathrobe responding to a media request. The journalist is asking for things that I do that make me stop worrying about my business and appreciate the richness of my life. Here are my 'Take Away Worry" tools.
Today, I am going to get my hair done, have a casual lunch with a friend, walk the dog and go to dinner and concert with another friend.
Tomorrow I am cooking dinner for a friend who is doing two peoples jobs and therefore working late every night and working weekends all this in order to make sure she keeps her job. Tuesday I a baking a birthday cake ( Baking is hard for me, but strawberry cake is a favorite of my guests) and cooking dinner for a couple one of whom is now, do to a job loss, currently the only income provider for the family. Being with friends is an wonderful "take away worry" tool. Cooking calms me. It’s something I can take from beginning to end with concrete evidence that I can create. And it’s cheap!
Work and writing make me feel wonderful and believe me I a blessed to have great speaking engagements and I am so grateful to be working. I even after all these years I am still filled with this thrill and giddy appreciation every single moment I am in front of an audience. And when I start to worry and I am not speaking I can always write, When I am done writing something, be it an article or a book I feel enormous satisfaction.
And thank goodness for my wonderful friendships and my friends and family and my sweetie. They are all are really funny and we laugh a lot, so in the last month even when a clients cancels a speaking engagement (This something that is happening a lot to speakers who work in the convention industry and for me its happening for the first time in 27 years in business.) I know I can talk with a loved one and be laughing with happiness in minutes. My dog Bo has a tremendous joy for living. I know if I start to worry about the future and what might happen all I need to do is look at him and say, “Walk outside?”and he starts smiling and jumping and wagging his tale and everything is wonderful again. I just realized that all my “take worry away” tools are about being in the present moment, and not borrowing worry from the future. So I think I will stay right here right now, not open my mutual fund statements, not get into conversations about how horrible the economy is and "do and be: rather than worry
I am sitting in my office in my peach colored bathrobe responding to a media request. The journalist is asking for things that I do that make me stop worrying about my business and appreciate the richness of my life. Here are my 'Take Away Worry" tools.
Today, I am going to get my hair done, have a casual lunch with a friend, walk the dog and go to dinner and concert with another friend.
Tomorrow I am cooking dinner for a friend who is doing two peoples jobs and therefore working late every night and working weekends all this in order to make sure she keeps her job. Tuesday I a baking a birthday cake ( Baking is hard for me, but strawberry cake is a favorite of my guests) and cooking dinner for a couple one of whom is now, do to a job loss, currently the only income provider for the family. Being with friends is an wonderful "take away worry" tool. Cooking calms me. It’s something I can take from beginning to end with concrete evidence that I can create. And it’s cheap!
Work and writing make me feel wonderful and believe me I a blessed to have great speaking engagements and I am so grateful to be working. I even after all these years I am still filled with this thrill and giddy appreciation every single moment I am in front of an audience. And when I start to worry and I am not speaking I can always write, When I am done writing something, be it an article or a book I feel enormous satisfaction.
And thank goodness for my wonderful friendships and my friends and family and my sweetie. They are all are really funny and we laugh a lot, so in the last month even when a clients cancels a speaking engagement (This something that is happening a lot to speakers who work in the convention industry and for me its happening for the first time in 27 years in business.) I know I can talk with a loved one and be laughing with happiness in minutes. My dog Bo has a tremendous joy for living. I know if I start to worry about the future and what might happen all I need to do is look at him and say, “Walk outside?”and he starts smiling and jumping and wagging his tale and everything is wonderful again. I just realized that all my “take worry away” tools are about being in the present moment, and not borrowing worry from the future. So I think I will stay right here right now, not open my mutual fund statements, not get into conversations about how horrible the economy is and "do and be: rather than worry
Monday, March 09, 2009
Great story ideas for your speeches can come from all sorts of places. I have blogged before that I get great ideas from a media inquiry email that I get several times a day. Media people looking for experts can option into an email listing their needs. Today a journalist from a large magazine was looking for stories of the worst gift you have ever gotten. As soon as I started thinking about it, I was laughing and transported back to Christmases past like a short blond Ebenezer Scrooge. I have received many bad Christmas presents. I am an expert in nonverbal communication and absolutely love to buy the perfect present for my friends each Christmas, but I am sure I have probably given a few funny gifts in my mind to. If you are looking for stories for your speeches start brainstorming best and worst in your life. Best birthday, worst vacation, best boss, worst haircut. Here are the stories and a few of my sister’s stories of worst gifts that I sent to the journalist. Use them to inspire you. In addition, send me your worst gift stories.
Let me start by saying that thank goodness, I have a great fun filled family and good sense of humor and bad gift just means fodder for me for a great story for my next speech. I would say the most embarrassing was a Christmas gift of a 50-dollar gift certificate to Victoria Secret, from my future in-laws!
Worse yet, my fiancé had lied and told them that is what I wanted! The next gift I opened that Christmas a Victoria Secret flimsy nightie from him. We did not get married
Worst gifts, again so many. My 40th Christmas my mother only gift was a set of green feather dusters from Walgreen's because she thought my house was dusty. That same Christmas my sister gave me a set a fiesta dishes and as I opened them she said, “We were saving them to give them to you when you got married, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen so we thought we better give them to you now.”
Close third for the list of worst gift ever after giving wonderful though at times eccentric presents to my cherished nieces and nephews for over 30 years my 25-year-old niece sent me a Trader Joe's grocery bag for Christmas last year. She had sent everyone else in the family homemade soaps and bath salts. I guess that meant she thought I was clean but hungry. I hope it did not mean she saw a future for me as a bag lady.
Ohhh I forgot the year my best friend gave me an ironing board and a full-length mirror. I fear that was hint to press my clothes and look in the mirror before I left the house.
I just got off the phone with my sister and we started laughing so hard as we talked about all the funny gifts our charming, but eccentric mother has given us over the years, The picked over “free gift” makeup my mother got from buying something for herself from Estee Lauder. The wine gift basket she gave my sister and brother in law for their anniversary that was dusty and still had the gift tag with her name on it that someone had given her for her birthday the year before. My sister’s biggest laugh came recalling the year she got married and mom sent her first Christmas gift to her new son in law, the two free giant troll dolls she got as a gift from the bank for opening an account. Robin said her new Husband held up to his ears and said, “Was it the close resemblance that inspired this gift?” She said the most painful gift was the skirt my mother gave my sister one Christmas that was a size 20 skirt. My sister who was in her thirties and had recently worked hard to lose baby weight was a size 12. When my sister held up the skirt my Mom said, “It was such a good buy, and you will grow into it!”
I thought of the Christmas my shy sister got a shocker present. This sister is very conservative, she likes to blend in the background so she only wears blue, white, and tan and mostly lives in T-shirts and blue jeans. She hates bright colors and prissy clothes. One year my mother gave her a huge box of Lilly Pulitzer clothes in hot pink, celadon green, purple and turquoise. The clothes were all print dresses, skirts and tops. My sister was mortified even to try them on and my mom insisted that she alter them for her over Christmas so my sister could wear them right away.
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.netBlog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com
Let me start by saying that thank goodness, I have a great fun filled family and good sense of humor and bad gift just means fodder for me for a great story for my next speech. I would say the most embarrassing was a Christmas gift of a 50-dollar gift certificate to Victoria Secret, from my future in-laws!
Worse yet, my fiancé had lied and told them that is what I wanted! The next gift I opened that Christmas a Victoria Secret flimsy nightie from him. We did not get married
Worst gifts, again so many. My 40th Christmas my mother only gift was a set of green feather dusters from Walgreen's because she thought my house was dusty. That same Christmas my sister gave me a set a fiesta dishes and as I opened them she said, “We were saving them to give them to you when you got married, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen so we thought we better give them to you now.”
Close third for the list of worst gift ever after giving wonderful though at times eccentric presents to my cherished nieces and nephews for over 30 years my 25-year-old niece sent me a Trader Joe's grocery bag for Christmas last year. She had sent everyone else in the family homemade soaps and bath salts. I guess that meant she thought I was clean but hungry. I hope it did not mean she saw a future for me as a bag lady.
Ohhh I forgot the year my best friend gave me an ironing board and a full-length mirror. I fear that was hint to press my clothes and look in the mirror before I left the house.
I just got off the phone with my sister and we started laughing so hard as we talked about all the funny gifts our charming, but eccentric mother has given us over the years, The picked over “free gift” makeup my mother got from buying something for herself from Estee Lauder. The wine gift basket she gave my sister and brother in law for their anniversary that was dusty and still had the gift tag with her name on it that someone had given her for her birthday the year before. My sister’s biggest laugh came recalling the year she got married and mom sent her first Christmas gift to her new son in law, the two free giant troll dolls she got as a gift from the bank for opening an account. Robin said her new Husband held up to his ears and said, “Was it the close resemblance that inspired this gift?” She said the most painful gift was the skirt my mother gave my sister one Christmas that was a size 20 skirt. My sister who was in her thirties and had recently worked hard to lose baby weight was a size 12. When my sister held up the skirt my Mom said, “It was such a good buy, and you will grow into it!”
I thought of the Christmas my shy sister got a shocker present. This sister is very conservative, she likes to blend in the background so she only wears blue, white, and tan and mostly lives in T-shirts and blue jeans. She hates bright colors and prissy clothes. One year my mother gave her a huge box of Lilly Pulitzer clothes in hot pink, celadon green, purple and turquoise. The clothes were all print dresses, skirts and tops. My sister was mortified even to try them on and my mom insisted that she alter them for her over Christmas so my sister could wear them right away.
Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.netBlog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com
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