Here are free funny lines from my friend Jeff Justices website.
Jeff Teaches an awesome stand up comedy class

14 Ways To Know If You've Been in Corporate America Too Long

1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.

2. You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organization."

3. You refer to dating as test marketing.

4. You can spell "paradigm."

5. You actually know what a paradigm is.

6. You understand your airline's fare structure.

7. You write executive summaries on your love letters.

8. Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points.

9. You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten-page presentation with six
other people you don't know.

10. You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review.

11. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and
"improvement opportunities."

12. You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as
"highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt."

13. You end every argument by saying "let's talk about this off-line."

14. You give constructive feedback to your dog.