To see a great example of a graph chart and how to create
and deliver a great graph chart in power point
Just watch the first one minute of this video.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Monday, November 25, 2013
Tuna Noodle Casserole
When I was sixteen I went to visit my sister Janice on St.
Simmons Island. She made the most delicious dinner I have ever had Tuna Noodle
Casserole. It was so yummy. How can you go wrong with a dish that has ruffle
potato chip crumbled on the top! Years later in grad school, I served it to my housemate
Pat and she said, “You’re such a great cook.”
It’s still Pat’s favorite meal when she visits on her way to Florida.
1.
Boil gluten free egg noodles.
2.
Turn on oven to 365
3.
Take two can or gluten free mushroom soup and
pour into a bowl. (You can make mushroom soup from scratch,
4.
Stir in three table spoons of gluten free
powdered curry add more to taste.
5.
Stir in a dash of paprika a little salt and a
little pepper. Taste and see if you need more.
6.
Stir in two can of Bubble Bee dark tuna in oil.
(That’s the secret; it doesn’t taste nearly as good if you get light tuna in
water.)
7.
Butter a long casserole dish or spray well with
Pam
8.
Take cooked noodles and put them in casserole
9.
Spoon in the tuna mix and mix well.
10.
Put in oven
11.
Cook about 20 minutes
12.
Crunch up a cup of Cape Cod potato chips (they
are gluten and soy free)
13.
Sprinkle the crushed chips on the top of the
bubbling casserole
14.
Watch closely and cook about ten minutes longer.
Don’t burn the chips.
Enjoy with a green salad. Make two casseroles
if you like to have seconds. I always do!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Top Ten Packing Essentials From A Frequent Flyer/Speaker
In response to a media request I
compiled a list of my top ten must pack extras when I travel.
As a professional speaker I have
been traveling an average of once a week for over
30 years. So I have a pretty long list of essentials
1. My
IPhone sound machine that plays ocean waves to put me to sleep. I take an
extra cord for it and put something I need like the room key or my makeup bag
near the plugged in phone so I don’t forget the cord.
2. But
here is my most important and oddest staple, three novels. I am a voracious
reader I have a nook kindle and a surface pro. I also travel
with real books to distract me from any travel stress in airports and
planes. I don’t watch TV in hotel rooms.
3. A
bag on pistachio nuts and walnuts and 2 avocados and a few of the Jiffy
peanut butter mini travel cups so I can have lots a protein with me in case I miss
a meal. (I travel with a metal spoon too.)
4. A
pair of really warm socks to wear around the hotel room and sleep in cozy and
pair to work out in.
5. A
jogging suit to use both to work out in and just snuggle in. I have found
another use as well if I pack my hot pink jogging suit I hang the jacket over the
bedside table lamp at night to mute those new blue glaring florescent lights
that are not conducive to sleep. The pink gives the room a calming red pinkish
light that is similar to the red light waves that are more conducive to sleep.
I use to travel with an old low watt bulb but it got too cumbersome. I
have spent some time trying to make or find a fireproof gel light bulb cover.
6. A
cold prevention emergency kit with homeopathic tablets, vitamins and aspirin,
and ibuprofen.
7. An
assortment of my favorite decaffeinated teas and hot chocolate that they don’t
have in hotels.
8. An
eye mask and earplugs and a potato chip bag clip to clip close the hotel
curtains that never stay closed otherwise.
9. In
addition to my regular clothes and make up I always pack a TV interview dress
and little black kami in case and an extra shirt in case I have an
unexpected media interview and or an extra day on the road. By the way I
wrap each item of clothing I bring with me on hangers and put it in a separate
dry-cleaning bag to prevent wrinkles and any need to use a hotel iron.
10. Pre-stamped
thank you notes for my clients.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
15 Tips for Booking Speaking Engagements
I just read this great article on how to get speaking
engagements if you are new to speaking. The article is by Donna Merritt from INS
works.
Sometimes finding good leads for speaking gigs can
feel a bit like hunting for a tropical spa with umbrella drinks in the desert.
It's easy to get discouraged. But yet when you see superstars that are booked
solid, you know that it can be done. So how do you find leads for paid speaking
engagements? Below are 14 techniques you can use to find good contacts and get
yourself booked!
1. Define a Niche - A niche can be defined as types of organizations you want to
speak for, an industry you want to specialize in, or a subject matter. By
defining a clear niche, you instantly set yourself apart. The next challenge of
course is to become known in your niche.
When you become the leading authority in your field,
people seek you out. Speaking trainer Burt Dubin says, “There's no point
in being a fine marketer until you have expertise to offer. And your expertise
has gotta be in a specific niche. A niche where folks with cash in their jeans
recognize your value and are willing to invest in what you alone know. Here's how
to select your niche: identify the topic or issue in which you're willing to do
endless and ongoing research for a market with the means to pay you.”
2. Free to Fee -
Speak for free in places likely to have people who could hire you for a fee.
Often there are people in these audiences who could hire you. Check your local
Kiwanis, Lions Club, Chamber of Commerce, and Rotary
clubs.
clubs.
“After speaking recently in the Women’s Economic
Development Outreach event, someone in the audience hired me for a speaking
engagement for their group. If they hadn’t seen me speak in person, it’s very
unlikely that this person would have contacted me.”
3. Attend Events - Go to the events that your ideal clients attend and mingle with the
decision makers who could hire you. Research the event ahead of time. Know who
will be in attendance. Have a hit list of people you want to connect with. Ask
first what THEY do so you can tailor your 30-second pitch to address how you
can help with their specific needs.
Go to chamber meetings and sit at the far end so you
go last introducing yourself. That way you can listen first to who is in the
audience and tailor your 30-second introduction. A speaker doing this shared
their experience: “Once I did this a gentleman was so impressed that he immediately
handed him a business card and said”, “Call me.”
4. Speaker Directories -There are websites that list speakers for a fee.
Meeting planners sometimes go to these directories looking for a speaker on a
certain topic.
Here are two that you can check out:
Speaker Services - speakerservices.com
Speaker Zone - www.speakerzone.com
5. Smile and Dial -Flipping the pages of a meeting planner directory and cold calling can
drum up business. Most speakers who use this approach successfully make 40- 50
calls every day. If you are smart about finding the “right” targeted leads to
call, this is especially effective.
Here are two sources for this information:
A) NTPA Directory (National & Professional
Associations) It lists national conventions, meetings, and trade show dates for
over 7,700 trade and professional associations with an annual report published
each February.
B) Columbia Books, Inc. - www.columbiabooks.com
6. Google
your way to Leads - Google makes it so easy to find leads. You can search
for events in your industry or to find who your competitors have spoken for.
7. Ask for Referrals From the Platform – For example when you speak to groups you can say “As
you can tell, I am really passionate about what I do. If you know of a group
who could benefit from this message, please hand me a business card
afterwards.”
8. Referrals -
Ask for referrals from existing clients who have hired you to speak. If you
ever have to lower your fee, you ask for letters of recommendation and
referrals as part of the deal in exchange for the discount.
A tip to reward those who refer you:
“Let your clients or customers know they are rewarded
for referring folks who invest in what you offer. Give appropriate gifts,
depending on the size of the ticket. I give a choice of gifts. A dollar amount
in cash or a higher dollar amount given to their favorite charity in their
name, or a certain dollar amount in free product. Reward referrals generously.”
My personal thought is that a heartfelt note, a
Starbucks gift card, a phone call, or even flowers is a wonderful way to say
“thank you - I appreciate your referral!”
9. Get on Your Prospect’s Radar Screen - Top of mind status comes from word of mouth
of your clients, being "seen" in the pages of print media, and from
testimonials of audience members. Know where your audience goes and be there.
This includes your prospect’s ezines, clubs, organizations, bulletin boards,
and magazines.
10. Speaker Website - An effective speaker website gives a meeting planner everything they
need to decide that you are the perfect speaker for their event. You’ll want to
include downloadable one sheet (brochure), testimonials, program descriptions,
media coverage, results gained for other clients, and your speaker video.
Lillian D. Bjorseth, the Networking Expert, shared how
she got a lead from a major company who wanted to hire her and found her on the
website. The person came back to their planning committee who said, “You found
her where?” “Have you even seen her speak? My reputation is on the line here.”
Then after reading testimonials from clients who hired Lillian to speak, they
were happy to hire her.
In the past 2 weeks, having a speaking video on my
website has gotten me the job. A client was hemming and hawing and said,
"Can we see you speak somewhere locally first?" I told them where
they could view my speaker video on my website and in 5 minutes they called
back to book me.
11. Join Organizations - Where people can hire you or might be able to
refer you to people. Review your organization memberships at the end of the
year before you renew to make sure that the fee was worth it.
12. Publicity Rules! - Red Zone Marketing speaker, Maribeth Kuzmeski says
that hiring a full time publicist has made all the difference in her speaking
career. She says that when people have seen your face enough times in
publications they get to feel like they know you.
13. Invite Prospects as your Guest when you Speak to
Groups - That way they can experience
you firsthand. After they experience the power of your speaking, they are
likely to hire you or even refer you to others.
14. Building Relationships -Send articles to them to let them know you are
thinking of them. Send cards and call them from time to time. “Never let them
forget your name. You want to be top of mind when they are ready to hire.”
15. Market, Market, and
Market - You can do this thru press
releases, one sheets, brochures, business cards, postcards, website listings,
blogs, new products, and releasing a new book. Please do these things often and
make sure your materials are up to date with current information and topics. It
would be a shame to sacrifice a $7,500 speaking fee by not updating a $300 one
sheet printing.
Saturday, April 07, 2012
Signing Your Kindle Book Electronically
For
all authors of online book you can Sign your kindle books electronically
—
Allen Klein said today in the
SPEAKERNETNEWS letter that,”If you’ve got a Kindle book available on Amazon,
you can now sign it electronically for buyers with an online service called
Kindlegraph. Because you sign each book individually as you receive requests,
you can write something different (if you want) for everyone who makes a
request. So, while you might write something generic for a stranger, you can
write something personal when you get a request from someone you know.
It’s
one of the coolest things I’ve seen lately! Be sure to watch the video
screencast explaining how it works at kindlegraph.com/about.”
Allen Klein
Getting Media Interviews and High Google Key Word recognition
My
friend Diane has wonderful Grits Bits cookies she sells in Gift Stores and
Gourmet Shops. She is getting ready to do media interviews on National Grits
Day on April 14th. She is a savvy sales person and
marketer and wanted some tips on getting media interviews. Here are some rough notes I just sent her.
I
just Goggled National Grits day to see what came up. I want to see your name on
that first page! You’re the grits expert you deserve to be there.
If
you have a YouTube channel, Blog or website I would suggest you write or video tape something fun each day on Grits and
include the words National Grits day and your name a few times in each entry.
Perhaps
grits humor,
Your
favorite grits stories.
Videos
of people eating grits for the first time or having your grits bits
recipes,
ways to celebrate the day.
You’re
a wonderful song writer who has written hit songs, perhaps you can make up a
grits song and have you and your daughter sing it with the dog watching while
wearing a bib and eating grits?
List
restaurants that have the best grits like South City Kitchen in Atlanta and
Wahoos in Decatur. See if the
restaurants will mention you in their newsletter or website. I know there are
other restaurants in other cities that have that as a specialty so you could
list them as well.
You
honey, Jeff has his wonderful comedy website and all those comedy class
students that go to his site. Can Jeff ask for grits jokes on his site and
mention you?
Can
your daughters tweet about you and grits for the next two weeks?
Do
you want to send a link for me to put on my blog?
Get
the key words “ National Grits day, eating Grits, What are grits?” associated
with your name so when journalist get your press release and Google you and or
the words National Grits day you are all over the place?
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Satir's Stress Responders
Explanations > Personality > Satir's Stress Responders
Placater | Blamer | Computer | Distracter | Leveler | So what?
Family therapist Virginia Satir identified five personality types in situations of stress.
Placater
The Placater is first of all concerned about how they will be perceived. Their center of attention is on themselves and particularly on their perception of how others see them.
Their response to stress is largely to avoid it. If there are any 'uncomfortable truths', then they will generally try to avoid talking about them (and may in fact go to extraordinary lengths to avoid any such confrontation).
Blamer
The Blamer feels powerless and uncared-for. All alone in the world, they feel that nobody will ever do anything for them.
When they feel stressed, their feelings of isolation increase further. As a result, they compensate by trying to take charge, bluffing their way out, hiding their aloneness in attempted leadership.
Computer
The Computer feels exposed when showing emotions, perhaps because they have difficulty controlling them or they may have been criticized as a child for showing emotion. Men, in particular, tend to be Computers.
To avoid having to confront emotion, when faced with stress, the Computer resorts to logic, becoming super-rational about the situation and working hard to appear super-cool on the outside (although they may be churning like mad on the inside).
Distracter
The Distracter easily becomes confused by stressful situations. Instead of taking some positive action, they are not sure what they should do and so grasp at straws.
In practice, they may well respond to the stress by shifting between the three previous types of Placater, Blamer and Computer. In doing so, they are trying in vain to find some solace in different practices.
Leveller
The ideal respondent to stress accepts it as normal. They are comfortable with ambiguous and uncertain situations and even engage with threats rather than fighting them or running away.
They thus 'tell it as it is', without exaggerating or minimizing the situation. They are comfortable with their own feelings and are able to discuss them.
So what?
So when confronted with stress, know your own situation and seek to become a Leveller.
When working with other people, spot their stress response and react accordingly.
See also
Stress, Satir's Five Positions
Explanations > Personality > Satir's Stress Responders
Placater | Blamer | Computer | Distracter | Leveler | So what?
Family therapist Virginia Satir identified five personality types in situations of stress.
Placater
The Placater is first of all concerned about how they will be perceived. Their center of attention is on themselves and particularly on their perception of how others see them.
Their response to stress is largely to avoid it. If there are any 'uncomfortable truths', then they will generally try to avoid talking about them (and may in fact go to extraordinary lengths to avoid any such confrontation).
Blamer
The Blamer feels powerless and uncared-for. All alone in the world, they feel that nobody will ever do anything for them.
When they feel stressed, their feelings of isolation increase further. As a result, they compensate by trying to take charge, bluffing their way out, hiding their aloneness in attempted leadership.
Computer
The Computer feels exposed when showing emotions, perhaps because they have difficulty controlling them or they may have been criticized as a child for showing emotion. Men, in particular, tend to be Computers.
To avoid having to confront emotion, when faced with stress, the Computer resorts to logic, becoming super-rational about the situation and working hard to appear super-cool on the outside (although they may be churning like mad on the inside).
Distracter
The Distracter easily becomes confused by stressful situations. Instead of taking some positive action, they are not sure what they should do and so grasp at straws.
In practice, they may well respond to the stress by shifting between the three previous types of Placater, Blamer and Computer. In doing so, they are trying in vain to find some solace in different practices.
Leveller
The ideal respondent to stress accepts it as normal. They are comfortable with ambiguous and uncertain situations and even engage with threats rather than fighting them or running away.
They thus 'tell it as it is', without exaggerating or minimizing the situation. They are comfortable with their own feelings and are able to discuss them.
So what?
So when confronted with stress, know your own situation and seek to become a Leveller.
When working with other people, spot their stress response and react accordingly.
See also
Stress, Satir's Five Positions
Five Speaking Positions
Techniques > Using Body Language > Satir's Five Positions
Placater | Blamer | Computer | Distracter | Leveler | See also
These are body language positions that convey the emotions of Virginia Satirs Stress Responders and are particularly useful for people speaking. They may be used not just to express stress but also in speaking with others to elicit particular resonses.
1. Placater
This conveys a request for them to stay calm and may be used in such situations as giving them bad news or asking them for something. It says 'please don't be upset or take offense'.
Body position
Palms facing up in supplication.
Body facing directly towards others, with shoulders and hips level and heels below the shoulders so the legs are slightly apart, with the feet facing forward. Feet and whole body facing forward.
Head vertical or slightly tilted with eyebrows slightly raised as a question or raised only in the middle as in pleading.
2. Blamer
The blamer points out problems or issues that the other person has. It says 'you're in trouble'. Maybe it is from you, but often it can be from other situations or people.
Body position
Body square on and leaning forward slightly.
Finger on one hand raised. Pointing directly at them for strong effect (this is an attack) or at the ceiling (this is a warning of attack).
Head slightly down with eyebrows lowered slightly.
3. Computer
The computer is thinking or evaluating, often held back in a reserved or protective way. It says 'I am considering carefully what you say'. It is useful when someone questions you. It sets the frame as logical and considering.
Body position
Body square on, though possibly also back a little, possibly resting on rear leg.
Arms often crossed, possibly with with one supporting the other, which is under the chin (propping up head whilst thinking).
Head level with eyebrows slightly in (thinking).
4. Distracter
This sets the mood as humorous and fun-seeking. It is useful for distracting from difficult situations.
Body language
Body at various angles, uneven.
Smiling, possibly wryly and with one eyebrow raised (if you can do this!).
5. Leveller
The Leveler position conveys credibility, honesty. It says 'I am comfortable and relaxed because I have nothing to hide. This is a typical speaking position.
Body position
Palms facing downward, fingers out flat, as if resting on a table, slightly wider than the body.
Body facing directly towards others, with shoulders and hips level and heels below the shoulders so the legs are slightly apart, with the feet facing forward. Feet and whole body facing forward.
Head vertical, with relaxed face and even eyebrows.
See also
Satir's Stress Responders
Techniques > Using Body Language > Satir's Five Positions
Placater | Blamer | Computer | Distracter | Leveler | See also
These are body language positions that convey the emotions of Virginia Satirs Stress Responders and are particularly useful for people speaking. They may be used not just to express stress but also in speaking with others to elicit particular resonses.
1. Placater
This conveys a request for them to stay calm and may be used in such situations as giving them bad news or asking them for something. It says 'please don't be upset or take offense'.
Body position
Palms facing up in supplication.
Body facing directly towards others, with shoulders and hips level and heels below the shoulders so the legs are slightly apart, with the feet facing forward. Feet and whole body facing forward.
Head vertical or slightly tilted with eyebrows slightly raised as a question or raised only in the middle as in pleading.
2. Blamer
The blamer points out problems or issues that the other person has. It says 'you're in trouble'. Maybe it is from you, but often it can be from other situations or people.
Body position
Body square on and leaning forward slightly.
Finger on one hand raised. Pointing directly at them for strong effect (this is an attack) or at the ceiling (this is a warning of attack).
Head slightly down with eyebrows lowered slightly.
3. Computer
The computer is thinking or evaluating, often held back in a reserved or protective way. It says 'I am considering carefully what you say'. It is useful when someone questions you. It sets the frame as logical and considering.
Body position
Body square on, though possibly also back a little, possibly resting on rear leg.
Arms often crossed, possibly with with one supporting the other, which is under the chin (propping up head whilst thinking).
Head level with eyebrows slightly in (thinking).
4. Distracter
This sets the mood as humorous and fun-seeking. It is useful for distracting from difficult situations.
Body language
Body at various angles, uneven.
Smiling, possibly wryly and with one eyebrow raised (if you can do this!).
5. Leveller
The Leveler position conveys credibility, honesty. It says 'I am comfortable and relaxed because I have nothing to hide. This is a typical speaking position.
Body position
Palms facing downward, fingers out flat, as if resting on a table, slightly wider than the body.
Body facing directly towards others, with shoulders and hips level and heels below the shoulders so the legs are slightly apart, with the feet facing forward. Feet and whole body facing forward.
Head vertical, with relaxed face and even eyebrows.
See also
Satir's Stress Responders
Emphasis in body language
What Hitler Did To Look Powerful and Persausive
Using Powerful Big Gestures and Emphasis at the Bottom of the Post
Techniques > Using body language > Emphasis in body language
You can amplify the words you emphasize with your body. In fact you probably do without noticing it. A slight nodding of the head. The beating of an outstretched finger. The thrust of an entire body.
TV presenters are interesting in how they create emphasis. They know that only their heads are in view, so they twist, turn and nod their heads far more than you or I.
When emphasizing in two places, with the voice and with the body, beware of mixed messages. This includes emphasis from one whilst the other remains flat or stationary. If I say 'That's really great!" whilst standing rigidly to attention, you may be forgiven for concluding that I was not that enthused.
Basic rules
The basic rules of using your body to emphasize are to synchronize and exaggerate:
Synchronize
To make emphasis count, it must all act together. Words and intonation, as well as all the bits of your body you are using to support the emphasis. Imagine it as playing in an orchestra - you need to get the whole lot playing in tune, otherwise all you have is a cacophony that communicates very little.
Exaggerate
When you want to emphasize, do thing bigger. Move such as an arm further and faster. Move the whole body with the arm. Include facial expressions.
Big emphasis
Use big emphasis when you want to overtly show your energy and passion about a point. You are not trying to hide your light under a bushel here: the goal is to overpower the other person with the force of your point.
Your words should also synchronize with big emphasis, using power words, spoken more loudly with energy and passion. The other person should be under no illusion: this is a very important point.
Big emphasis is particularly useful if you are on a stage and need to communicate with those in the back.
Do remember also that it can be intimidating, which is more about coercion, where although you may gain short-term conformance, you may also get longer-term hatred.
Big movements
For big emphasis, make big movements.
Exaggerate arm movements, making wide sweeps.
Nod or shake your head.
Point with an outstretched arm.
Move about the stage.
Create contrast, sometimes not moving, then moving suddenly.
Simulated aggression
Big emphasis often (but not always) uses simulated aggression, such as:
Beating of an arm down in time with the points you are making.
Pounding of a fist on the table or into palm of the other hand.
Throwing the body forward (not actually, though - this is simulation, so use more of an 'exaggerated lean').
Stamping of a foot.
Exaggerated facial expressions.
Sudden movement.
Connection
In a less hazardous form than simulated aggression, you can use methods of connecting with the person to connect the idea more firmly to them.
Move towards them when making important points.
Reach out towards them, palms curved and up or towards one another, as if giving them something.
Touch them (if you are close and the social situation permits). Lightly touch their hand or arm. Hold both shoulders.
Use a simulated embrace, curving your arms with palms inwards as if hugging them.
Make unblinking eye contact, gazing directly at them (particularly transitioning from no eye contact).
Use 'doe eyes' or other romantic indicators to connect passion for the idea with passion for the person.
Repetition
Repeated moves are like blows to the body. A boxer can win with a big knockout blow or, more likely, with repeated blows that wear the other person down. The same effect is created with big emphasis.
Rhythmic action also taps into primitive senses and can create an almost hypnotic effect.
Subtle emphasis
Big emphasis is not always appropriate and, done well, subtle emphasis can be a far more effective approach, especially in one-to-one situations. To do this well, it often helps if you are in a relaxed frame of mind and 'think small and delicate' as if big emphasis would hurt or damage the other person.
Small movements
For subtle emphasis with your body, do movement in the small, including:
Turns of the wrist.
Finger movement.
Slight inclines of the head.
Subtle facial expressions (the face is well-built for doing this).
Shaped movement
You can also do subtlety through the static shapes into which you put your body, for example:
Cupped palm, as if holding something delicate.
Rounded arms, as if embracing the other person.
Pointing feet, legs or arms in a particular direction.
Light contact
Connect with them gently, ensuring they are listening. For example:
Make brief eye contact, as if checking that they are paying attention.
Look in their direction, for example scanning a crowd.
Move or lean a little towards them.
Nod, to encourage agreement (and hence prior thought).
Move your hands a little towards them, as if wanting to give something or reach out to them.
See also
Emphasis, Harmony principle, Amplification principle, Intensifiers, Emphasis in writing
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What Hitler Did To Look Powerful and Persausive
Using Powerful Big Gestures and Emphasis at the Bottom of the Post
Techniques > Using body language > Emphasis in body language
You can amplify the words you emphasize with your body. In fact you probably do without noticing it. A slight nodding of the head. The beating of an outstretched finger. The thrust of an entire body.
TV presenters are interesting in how they create emphasis. They know that only their heads are in view, so they twist, turn and nod their heads far more than you or I.
When emphasizing in two places, with the voice and with the body, beware of mixed messages. This includes emphasis from one whilst the other remains flat or stationary. If I say 'That's really great!" whilst standing rigidly to attention, you may be forgiven for concluding that I was not that enthused.
Basic rules
The basic rules of using your body to emphasize are to synchronize and exaggerate:
Synchronize
To make emphasis count, it must all act together. Words and intonation, as well as all the bits of your body you are using to support the emphasis. Imagine it as playing in an orchestra - you need to get the whole lot playing in tune, otherwise all you have is a cacophony that communicates very little.
Exaggerate
When you want to emphasize, do thing bigger. Move such as an arm further and faster. Move the whole body with the arm. Include facial expressions.
Big emphasis
Use big emphasis when you want to overtly show your energy and passion about a point. You are not trying to hide your light under a bushel here: the goal is to overpower the other person with the force of your point.
Your words should also synchronize with big emphasis, using power words, spoken more loudly with energy and passion. The other person should be under no illusion: this is a very important point.
Big emphasis is particularly useful if you are on a stage and need to communicate with those in the back.
Do remember also that it can be intimidating, which is more about coercion, where although you may gain short-term conformance, you may also get longer-term hatred.
Big movements
For big emphasis, make big movements.
Exaggerate arm movements, making wide sweeps.
Nod or shake your head.
Point with an outstretched arm.
Move about the stage.
Create contrast, sometimes not moving, then moving suddenly.
Simulated aggression
Big emphasis often (but not always) uses simulated aggression, such as:
Beating of an arm down in time with the points you are making.
Pounding of a fist on the table or into palm of the other hand.
Throwing the body forward (not actually, though - this is simulation, so use more of an 'exaggerated lean').
Stamping of a foot.
Exaggerated facial expressions.
Sudden movement.
Connection
In a less hazardous form than simulated aggression, you can use methods of connecting with the person to connect the idea more firmly to them.
Move towards them when making important points.
Reach out towards them, palms curved and up or towards one another, as if giving them something.
Touch them (if you are close and the social situation permits). Lightly touch their hand or arm. Hold both shoulders.
Use a simulated embrace, curving your arms with palms inwards as if hugging them.
Make unblinking eye contact, gazing directly at them (particularly transitioning from no eye contact).
Use 'doe eyes' or other romantic indicators to connect passion for the idea with passion for the person.
Repetition
Repeated moves are like blows to the body. A boxer can win with a big knockout blow or, more likely, with repeated blows that wear the other person down. The same effect is created with big emphasis.
Rhythmic action also taps into primitive senses and can create an almost hypnotic effect.
Subtle emphasis
Big emphasis is not always appropriate and, done well, subtle emphasis can be a far more effective approach, especially in one-to-one situations. To do this well, it often helps if you are in a relaxed frame of mind and 'think small and delicate' as if big emphasis would hurt or damage the other person.
Small movements
For subtle emphasis with your body, do movement in the small, including:
Turns of the wrist.
Finger movement.
Slight inclines of the head.
Subtle facial expressions (the face is well-built for doing this).
Shaped movement
You can also do subtlety through the static shapes into which you put your body, for example:
Cupped palm, as if holding something delicate.
Rounded arms, as if embracing the other person.
Pointing feet, legs or arms in a particular direction.
Light contact
Connect with them gently, ensuring they are listening. For example:
Make brief eye contact, as if checking that they are paying attention.
Look in their direction, for example scanning a crowd.
Move or lean a little towards them.
Nod, to encourage agreement (and hence prior thought).
Move your hands a little towards them, as if wanting to give something or reach out to them.
See also
Emphasis, Harmony principle, Amplification principle, Intensifiers, Emphasis in writing
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How to Remember Something or How to Make Information Memorable.
What makes something memorable. In my presentation skills class I share the imporatance of making something novel and unique. Taylor & Fiske, (1978) indicated that attention is usually captured by salient, novel, surprising, or distinctive stimuli. These may be used to enhance the von Restorff effect.
Here is another memory enhancing effect.
"Von Restorff Effect
Explanations - Memory - Von Restorff Effect
Description
We remember things that stand out.
Example
Try to remember this list (take a few seconds and then look away):
Jump
Cut
Run
Fly
Duck-billed platypus
Read
Build
Lay
The chance is that you will easily remember 'duck-billed platypus', because it stands out by being a noun, physically longer, italic and red. This is an extreme example, but it does highlight the effect. When the item in question stands out less, the likelihood of it being remembered also decreases.
Discussion
The Von Restorff effect was identified by Hedwig von Restorff in 1933. She conducted a set of memory experiments around isolated and distinctive items, concluding that an isolated item, in a list of otherwise similar items, would be better remembered than an item in the same relative position in a list where all items were similar.
There can also be a reverse effect here. You remember the unique item, but the attention that it grabs from you is removed from other items -- thus you may in fact remember less overall.
Hedwig's work relates to Gestalt, where she related it to the Figure and Ground principles.
In the 'attention age', when the plethora of media around us is constantly battling for a moment of our time, advertisers make much use of this principle, each vying with the other to stand out from the crowd and hence be remembered by the target audience.
The Von Restorff effect is also called the Isolation Effect or the Distinctiveness Principle (Nelson, 1979). The same principle has also been described as prominence effects (Gardner, 1983) environmental salience effects (Taylor & Fiske, 1978), and novel popout effect (Johnson, Hawley, Plewe, Elliott, & De Witt, 1990).
So what?
If you want people to remember something, make it stand out. You can be very creative in this.
See also
What makes something memorable. In my presentation skills class I share the imporatance of making something novel and unique. Taylor & Fiske, (1978) indicated that attention is usually captured by salient, novel, surprising, or distinctive stimuli. These may be used to enhance the von Restorff effect.
Here is another memory enhancing effect.
"Von Restorff Effect
Explanations - Memory - Von Restorff Effect
Description
We remember things that stand out.
Example
Try to remember this list (take a few seconds and then look away):
Jump
Cut
Run
Fly
Duck-billed platypus
Read
Build
Lay
The chance is that you will easily remember 'duck-billed platypus', because it stands out by being a noun, physically longer, italic and red. This is an extreme example, but it does highlight the effect. When the item in question stands out less, the likelihood of it being remembered also decreases.
Discussion
The Von Restorff effect was identified by Hedwig von Restorff in 1933. She conducted a set of memory experiments around isolated and distinctive items, concluding that an isolated item, in a list of otherwise similar items, would be better remembered than an item in the same relative position in a list where all items were similar.
There can also be a reverse effect here. You remember the unique item, but the attention that it grabs from you is removed from other items -- thus you may in fact remember less overall.
Hedwig's work relates to Gestalt, where she related it to the Figure and Ground principles.
In the 'attention age', when the plethora of media around us is constantly battling for a moment of our time, advertisers make much use of this principle, each vying with the other to stand out from the crowd and hence be remembered by the target audience.
The Von Restorff effect is also called the Isolation Effect or the Distinctiveness Principle (Nelson, 1979). The same principle has also been described as prominence effects (Gardner, 1983) environmental salience effects (Taylor & Fiske, 1978), and novel popout effect (Johnson, Hawley, Plewe, Elliott, & De Witt, 1990).
So what?
If you want people to remember something, make it stand out. You can be very creative in this.
See also
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
I met my best friend Roy at summer orientation before our freshman year of college. I looked across the room saw this big six four Nordic blond as he turned and smiled at me and said, "There is my lifes best friend." We were so close, our friends thought we were twins. The relationship was so strong, but completely platonic. When I was in my Doctoral program and Roy was working as a social worker, Roy Invited me to Visit. As we walked around the Park told me he had AIDS. As he got sicker we each made a promise. He was done to 75 pound, in horrible pain and was being fed by a portable drip. I at Five feet one could carry him around his apartment. He wanted to unplug he IV's that fed him when it got really bad. He talked me through his plan. I promised not to let the doctors revive him if I found him. I asked him to promise me to tell me goodbye before he left. I worked as a temp receptionist in Atlanta because I didn't want to be on the road traveling with Roy so ill, but I was offered a two week job out of town at a time I desperately needed money. On my visit with Roy before I left town, we talked and I helped lift him to go to the bathroom. and I laid at the foot of his bed we talked. He was so frail and gaunt and I knew he was ready to go and that in some part he was holding on for me. I left him a letter saying I knew he was holding on and I knew he didn't want to leave me, but if he was in too much pain it was OK, I loved him. While I was gone he pulled out his IVs. My time away, niether he nor his roomate mentioned he was dying. That kindness was very much Roy. When he was finally taken to the hospital. His family, who didn't even know he was sick, came to the hospital and I told them his wish so they would not go overboard with reviving him. He came out of the coma and said goodbye. I kept my promise.
Monday, January 17, 2011
With the snow last week, what could have been a stressful trip to speak in California turned into a wonderful adventure.
My friend Charlie snuck through police barricades on North Decatur and drove down scary iced over roads to pick me up early Thursday Morning. Then he managed to get through two more police barricades on iced over North Druid Hills to get us on 285. They had two lanes out of six open and guess what? There wasn’t any traffic!!! We should have taken pictures.
I got a flight out and stayed at a fantastic hotel called The Palace in San Francisco.
I had a wonderful meal at the Pied piper restaurant at the Palace hotel last Thursday evening and met a interesting guy who does training internationally and owns a coffee house in San Francisco. He was leaving for China this week. (I just read a very insightful article on China in “The Week” It discussed the coming storm as the country pollutes its water, has more elderly people than works, has have increased need for goods throughout the world. )
Later I spoke to a gentleman from Malaysia. He shared with me that he is part Indian part Chinese and was raised in a big house with floor to ceiling books in the library that sounded like the library at the Biltmore. At 14 he left Malaysia for London and was accepted immediately into to college. He went on from there to law school at Cambridge and then worked in international banking. He rides his bike or the bus everyday to his current job as a house council for a Bank. That fact alone impressed me!
He talked about the chain of restaurants in China he just opened with his partners. The Chinese love cheese and California wine. Who knew We also all shared favorite books. I have to but “Eleanor and Franklin” on my list. I told them about the novel I was reading by humorous British author David Nicholls “A Question of Attraction.” (He reminds me of author of “About a Boy” Nick Hornsby”
For the main course I had the vegetarian pasta with spiral macaroni pasta, mushrooms, parsley with truffle oil and a dollop of sour cream on top. It was wonderful. I have tasted a lot of pasta. This was a truly unique dish!
Then I had the dessert of chocolate peppermint cake. It was served on a beautiful long clear glass rectangle plate with pink ice-cream and raspberry sauce. It was so lovely, I even took a picture of the plating that I will send. The next day I had breakfast in the hotel court. Check out the link for Photos it is a extremely impressive hotel. Make sure you click to the court photos. It has this enormous glass ceiling like a garden conservatory in a Victorian home. In fact the restaurants and lobby where gorgeous!
Http://www.sfpalacerestaurants.com/pied-piper
My friend Charlie snuck through police barricades on North Decatur and drove down scary iced over roads to pick me up early Thursday Morning. Then he managed to get through two more police barricades on iced over North Druid Hills to get us on 285. They had two lanes out of six open and guess what? There wasn’t any traffic!!! We should have taken pictures.
I got a flight out and stayed at a fantastic hotel called The Palace in San Francisco.
I had a wonderful meal at the Pied piper restaurant at the Palace hotel last Thursday evening and met a interesting guy who does training internationally and owns a coffee house in San Francisco. He was leaving for China this week. (I just read a very insightful article on China in “The Week” It discussed the coming storm as the country pollutes its water, has more elderly people than works, has have increased need for goods throughout the world. )
Later I spoke to a gentleman from Malaysia. He shared with me that he is part Indian part Chinese and was raised in a big house with floor to ceiling books in the library that sounded like the library at the Biltmore. At 14 he left Malaysia for London and was accepted immediately into to college. He went on from there to law school at Cambridge and then worked in international banking. He rides his bike or the bus everyday to his current job as a house council for a Bank. That fact alone impressed me!
He talked about the chain of restaurants in China he just opened with his partners. The Chinese love cheese and California wine. Who knew We also all shared favorite books. I have to but “Eleanor and Franklin” on my list. I told them about the novel I was reading by humorous British author David Nicholls “A Question of Attraction.” (He reminds me of author of “About a Boy” Nick Hornsby”
For the main course I had the vegetarian pasta with spiral macaroni pasta, mushrooms, parsley with truffle oil and a dollop of sour cream on top. It was wonderful. I have tasted a lot of pasta. This was a truly unique dish!
Then I had the dessert of chocolate peppermint cake. It was served on a beautiful long clear glass rectangle plate with pink ice-cream and raspberry sauce. It was so lovely, I even took a picture of the plating that I will send. The next day I had breakfast in the hotel court. Check out the link for Photos it is a extremely impressive hotel. Make sure you click to the court photos. It has this enormous glass ceiling like a garden conservatory in a Victorian home. In fact the restaurants and lobby where gorgeous!
Http://www.sfpalacerestaurants.com/pied-piper
Sunday, December 05, 2010
Ophra has her favorite things list and I have my top ten, this year top 15 list of my favorite things for 2010. I just love the products. The products are fun, and some would make great little inexpensive stocking stuffers. The criteria for the list is that I had to discover the product in 2010 and recommend it to a friend or family member who agreed it was wonderful. Check out the blog for past years lists. I don’t get kickbacks from the companies. I would love to help you find the perfect gift or stocking stuffer for your family or friends. There are some great gift ideas for your business clients as well.
1. The Iphone 4 Google APP - I discovered this App at a party. We were having a hot and heavy discussion about world hunger that somehow morphed into a debate on the actor Timothy Hutton’s real age. A friend pulled out his Iphone and hit a big blue G icon. It is the amazingly quick and accurate Voice Recognition Google App for the Google search engine. My friend said into the phone the phrase, “Timothy Hutton’s age.” and the websites with Hutton’s age came up immediately. I went and got a cell phone and ordered the App the next week. I use the App every day. It solves that memory burp, tip of the tongue, or I am right and you’re wrong discussion problem. It also helps you find the best coffee shop, book store or Sushi bar nearest to you when you’re traveling.
2. The Week - The weekly news magazine and online news source. This magazine makes me feel brilliant, insightful and informed. Well, at least I feel that way the first few hours after I read it! For years I read this magazine whenever I was over at my friend Judith’s house. Last year she gave me a subscription for Christmas. I love it. It is designed like the original version of Time magazine. It takes the weeks hot news topics and quotes several publication’s views and facts all in one article. So say you are reading an article on North Korea. They will quote The New York Times, The Republic, The Washington Post and the Huntington Post within the piece. You have several viewpoints. It is so illuminating. You start reading a piece and you form an opinion then by the time you’re finished reading all the quotes you often have a broader and less biased perspective on the issue. They also have a weekly recipe and Top TV show and or movie recommendations to watch. I had a fun moment this year when my favorite magazine quoted me! What a kick. My other favorite is Bloomberg BusinessWeek. I love the new incarnation of BuisnessWeek. It is smart and sassy. Though I will admit I am biased as they started quoting me for their fun articles on body language. Check out the articles online they range from Elevator body language, to body language at Starbucks and the waiting area at Airports.
3. Pinks Greatest Hits album - Actually, just one song. It is the best rock out, car dancing, hand in the air, singing at the top of your lungs song. It is called, “Raise Your Glass.” I haven’t loved a song and played a song over and over like this in years. I heard it once and had to go to three stores to find it. The song is the beat of my drives and the song that rocks my house cleaning. Again. I have not had a song singing in my head like this for years. In fact, the last song that made me rock out like this was Sheryl Crowe’s, “Winding Road.” Here is the only caveat. It has profanity in it. I wish I could change a few lyrics, but the beat is awesome. Ben, who is the parking attendant at my Thursday night Meeting of the Minds restaurant, laughed when he saw me pull in with the windows down and singing this song at the top of my lungs. He has known me for years. He said he didn’t figure me for a Pink fan. I didn’t either, but I am hooked on that song. Her rendition on the album of the 80’s tune, “I’m Coming Out” Is groovy too. I got the album at Borders. Do know that when I did a body language piece for Billboard this year that I said my favorite album was the soundtrack from the Jeff Bridges movie CRAZY HEART now I am rocking to a different beat!
4. Eddy’s Peppermint Ice Cream - Only out in stores in December this ice cream is smooth and creamy with little crunches of peppermint sticks. The perfect holiday dessert when you are too tired from shopping and decorating and wrapping presents to want to do more than open the carton and dish out the yum. You need to have company in the house when you serve it, or you may be tempted to eat the whole carton. It is low in calories!
5. SmartWool Socks - They are soft and warm and they don’t shrink or itch. I have a long description of these magic socks at the end of this list. Let me just say, that for the first time I can remember my feet are comfy and truly warm on my daily walks. I had no idea that great, environmentally friendly socks could make such a difference. And they come in snazzy prints and colors. They cost the moon, but it is so worth it. I buy them in a three pack at my discount shoe store.
6. Kate and Cassie Pinot Grigio - Most of my friends and family who drink wine like a Pinot Grigio. I love the crisp pear taste in this wine and you can get it when you’re buying the cereal I mention below as they sell this fresh summer wine at Target.
7. Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day Counter Top Spray in Lavender - I love this stuff. It smells so fresh and clean. I use it every day and spray down the counters just before company comes over so the house smells good.
8. Target Archer Farms Chocolate Hazelnut Biscotti Granola Cereal - It is delicious. Basically it is cookies and milk for breakfast. Though I have it for a meal. In fact, it is one of my favorite late night dinners when I come home from a long trip. You buy it the food section at Target.
9. Essen Hand Soap in the Big Brown Pump Bottle - I love all the scents. In the kitchen I use the Citrus Ginger scented soap and in the bathrooms I have mint.
10. Now Solutions Grape Seed Oil - My friend Pat had been using Olive Oil on her face for a year and her skin was clear and moist and she looked incredible so I started using it. Then she told me that the grape seed oil was even better as it didn't have any odor. There are no chemicals or preservatives, just the oil. You can find it in any health food store. I put a few drops on my face and hands at night and a few drops on my face over my suntan lotion before my daily walk.
11. I have had problems with frizzy dry hair for years. Then I discovered Peter Coppola Fascino Olive Oil Shampoo and Conditioner. It leaves my hair so silky. It is hard to find in stores, but you can get in online.
12. Asqith & Somerset Grapefruit Sugarcane Exfoliating Sugar Scrub - I am not a fan of flowery bath stuff. I love a clean citrus scent. This leaves your skin soft. You do have to scrub the tub down after you use it as it has oil in the mixture that makes the tub slick.
13. Eucerin Dry Skin Therapy Calming Cream - I keep this in my purse in the winter. You can get it at Target or CVS.
14. Aquarphor Healing Ointment - It comes in a little tiny white tube. I put it on my lips to keep them plump and moist, though that is not listed as a use for the product. You can get this
at Target or CVS.
15. Keratin Complex - It is an expensive, wonderful smelling hair cuticle smoothing luxury for your hair. You put it on after you partially dry your hair. I wish it came in a travel size. You can find it at Ultra Cosmetics. But you may want to wait till they have a coupon discount for the store as it is pricey.
SmartWood Socks
· If you have done any research at all on outdoor clothing, especially under garments and socks, there is no doubt you are familiar with, or have at least heard of the name brand, Smart Wool. If not, it’s time for you to get in the loop and on the band wagon!
· SmartWool is not only a clever name – though it is that as it perfectly and succinctly describes the product itself – but it is a brilliant product itself. It does a marvelous job of blending the best of what nature has to offer with technology and humanity to produce the absolute finest material you could ever hope to wear against your skin whether your outdoor endeavors are modest, extreme, blazing hot, icy cold or anywhere in between any of those points. It works incredibly well in all conditions consistently delivering top performance in a single, versatile product. And on top of all that performance… SmartWool clothing is unbelievably comfortable to wear! Nothing whatsoever like the itchy, smelly wool you may remember from years gone by.
· SmartWool gets their base supply of top quality merino wool from wool growers in New Zealand. Not only are these wool growers (sheep herders? not sure what to call them) among the best in the world, but they abide by strict ethical, humanitarian standards in the manner in which they raise and manage their sheep. Not only that, but they adhere to a system that allows for tracking back of all materials to ensure that all products really do come from where they claim.
· On top of the high praise just outlined, SmartWool also utilizes a unique manufacturing process that removes all the negative aspects that might be associated with wool, such as itchy-ness or the tendency to shrink. With all the effort they put into their product, knowing all the effort you will be putting forth when you wear them, you will be pleased to find yourself as happy and comfortable in your SmartWool gear at the end of your day as you are slipping into it at the very start. But all this cozy comfort is only the beginning of the wondrous aspects of this material.
· The true miracle that is SmartWool lies in the performance of their garments.
· The first thing to know about it is that it is a natural fiber; the merino wool that acts as a protective coat for the sheep who spend their lives between cold mountain highlands and warm southern summers in New Zealand. Their wool coats naturally keep them comfortably warm in the cold winter and comfortably cool in the warm summer months. By using the wool for clothing, people can experience the same wonderful insulating properties these sheep have developed over thousands of years.
· The reason that this merino wool works so wonderfully well as insulation is because each fiber is made up of thousands of incredibly small pockets of air which act just like the insulation you have in the walls of your house. They act as a blanket or buffer zone between the hot or cold outside and the ideal temperature you want inside.
· Just like your home helps keep you cool in the summer time and warm in the winter, these fibers will naturally regulate your body temperature, keeping you cool when it’s hot out and warm when it’s cool (or cold) out. They also just happen to be able to wick moisture away from your body faster than any other material you could find on earth. This means your skin stays comfortably dry longer, which is critical in cold weather. Having moist skin in freezing temperatures is a recipe for disaster. Also, unlike other man made materials designed for wicking moisture, SmartWool is able to transfer moisture (perspiration) while it’s still in a vapor state rather than needing to wait for it to convert into actual drops of liquid. What this does for you in hot weather is act like a kind of small air conditioner right next to your skin, radiating your body heat out and away from your body and keeping you more comfortably cool. So if you think “wool” is only for winter, think again about “Smart Wool“! For many serious outdoorsmen and women, it is #1 choice when it comes to thermal socks.
1. The Iphone 4 Google APP - I discovered this App at a party. We were having a hot and heavy discussion about world hunger that somehow morphed into a debate on the actor Timothy Hutton’s real age. A friend pulled out his Iphone and hit a big blue G icon. It is the amazingly quick and accurate Voice Recognition Google App for the Google search engine. My friend said into the phone the phrase, “Timothy Hutton’s age.” and the websites with Hutton’s age came up immediately. I went and got a cell phone and ordered the App the next week. I use the App every day. It solves that memory burp, tip of the tongue, or I am right and you’re wrong discussion problem. It also helps you find the best coffee shop, book store or Sushi bar nearest to you when you’re traveling.
2. The Week - The weekly news magazine and online news source. This magazine makes me feel brilliant, insightful and informed. Well, at least I feel that way the first few hours after I read it! For years I read this magazine whenever I was over at my friend Judith’s house. Last year she gave me a subscription for Christmas. I love it. It is designed like the original version of Time magazine. It takes the weeks hot news topics and quotes several publication’s views and facts all in one article. So say you are reading an article on North Korea. They will quote The New York Times, The Republic, The Washington Post and the Huntington Post within the piece. You have several viewpoints. It is so illuminating. You start reading a piece and you form an opinion then by the time you’re finished reading all the quotes you often have a broader and less biased perspective on the issue. They also have a weekly recipe and Top TV show and or movie recommendations to watch. I had a fun moment this year when my favorite magazine quoted me! What a kick. My other favorite is Bloomberg BusinessWeek. I love the new incarnation of BuisnessWeek. It is smart and sassy. Though I will admit I am biased as they started quoting me for their fun articles on body language. Check out the articles online they range from Elevator body language, to body language at Starbucks and the waiting area at Airports.
3. Pinks Greatest Hits album - Actually, just one song. It is the best rock out, car dancing, hand in the air, singing at the top of your lungs song. It is called, “Raise Your Glass.” I haven’t loved a song and played a song over and over like this in years. I heard it once and had to go to three stores to find it. The song is the beat of my drives and the song that rocks my house cleaning. Again. I have not had a song singing in my head like this for years. In fact, the last song that made me rock out like this was Sheryl Crowe’s, “Winding Road.” Here is the only caveat. It has profanity in it. I wish I could change a few lyrics, but the beat is awesome. Ben, who is the parking attendant at my Thursday night Meeting of the Minds restaurant, laughed when he saw me pull in with the windows down and singing this song at the top of my lungs. He has known me for years. He said he didn’t figure me for a Pink fan. I didn’t either, but I am hooked on that song. Her rendition on the album of the 80’s tune, “I’m Coming Out” Is groovy too. I got the album at Borders. Do know that when I did a body language piece for Billboard this year that I said my favorite album was the soundtrack from the Jeff Bridges movie CRAZY HEART now I am rocking to a different beat!
4. Eddy’s Peppermint Ice Cream - Only out in stores in December this ice cream is smooth and creamy with little crunches of peppermint sticks. The perfect holiday dessert when you are too tired from shopping and decorating and wrapping presents to want to do more than open the carton and dish out the yum. You need to have company in the house when you serve it, or you may be tempted to eat the whole carton. It is low in calories!
5. SmartWool Socks - They are soft and warm and they don’t shrink or itch. I have a long description of these magic socks at the end of this list. Let me just say, that for the first time I can remember my feet are comfy and truly warm on my daily walks. I had no idea that great, environmentally friendly socks could make such a difference. And they come in snazzy prints and colors. They cost the moon, but it is so worth it. I buy them in a three pack at my discount shoe store.
6. Kate and Cassie Pinot Grigio - Most of my friends and family who drink wine like a Pinot Grigio. I love the crisp pear taste in this wine and you can get it when you’re buying the cereal I mention below as they sell this fresh summer wine at Target.
7. Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day Counter Top Spray in Lavender - I love this stuff. It smells so fresh and clean. I use it every day and spray down the counters just before company comes over so the house smells good.
8. Target Archer Farms Chocolate Hazelnut Biscotti Granola Cereal - It is delicious. Basically it is cookies and milk for breakfast. Though I have it for a meal. In fact, it is one of my favorite late night dinners when I come home from a long trip. You buy it the food section at Target.
9. Essen Hand Soap in the Big Brown Pump Bottle - I love all the scents. In the kitchen I use the Citrus Ginger scented soap and in the bathrooms I have mint.
10. Now Solutions Grape Seed Oil - My friend Pat had been using Olive Oil on her face for a year and her skin was clear and moist and she looked incredible so I started using it. Then she told me that the grape seed oil was even better as it didn't have any odor. There are no chemicals or preservatives, just the oil. You can find it in any health food store. I put a few drops on my face and hands at night and a few drops on my face over my suntan lotion before my daily walk.
11. I have had problems with frizzy dry hair for years. Then I discovered Peter Coppola Fascino Olive Oil Shampoo and Conditioner. It leaves my hair so silky. It is hard to find in stores, but you can get in online.
12. Asqith & Somerset Grapefruit Sugarcane Exfoliating Sugar Scrub - I am not a fan of flowery bath stuff. I love a clean citrus scent. This leaves your skin soft. You do have to scrub the tub down after you use it as it has oil in the mixture that makes the tub slick.
13. Eucerin Dry Skin Therapy Calming Cream - I keep this in my purse in the winter. You can get it at Target or CVS.
14. Aquarphor Healing Ointment - It comes in a little tiny white tube. I put it on my lips to keep them plump and moist, though that is not listed as a use for the product. You can get this
at Target or CVS.
15. Keratin Complex - It is an expensive, wonderful smelling hair cuticle smoothing luxury for your hair. You put it on after you partially dry your hair. I wish it came in a travel size. You can find it at Ultra Cosmetics. But you may want to wait till they have a coupon discount for the store as it is pricey.
SmartWood Socks
· If you have done any research at all on outdoor clothing, especially under garments and socks, there is no doubt you are familiar with, or have at least heard of the name brand, Smart Wool. If not, it’s time for you to get in the loop and on the band wagon!
· SmartWool is not only a clever name – though it is that as it perfectly and succinctly describes the product itself – but it is a brilliant product itself. It does a marvelous job of blending the best of what nature has to offer with technology and humanity to produce the absolute finest material you could ever hope to wear against your skin whether your outdoor endeavors are modest, extreme, blazing hot, icy cold or anywhere in between any of those points. It works incredibly well in all conditions consistently delivering top performance in a single, versatile product. And on top of all that performance… SmartWool clothing is unbelievably comfortable to wear! Nothing whatsoever like the itchy, smelly wool you may remember from years gone by.
· SmartWool gets their base supply of top quality merino wool from wool growers in New Zealand. Not only are these wool growers (sheep herders? not sure what to call them) among the best in the world, but they abide by strict ethical, humanitarian standards in the manner in which they raise and manage their sheep. Not only that, but they adhere to a system that allows for tracking back of all materials to ensure that all products really do come from where they claim.
· On top of the high praise just outlined, SmartWool also utilizes a unique manufacturing process that removes all the negative aspects that might be associated with wool, such as itchy-ness or the tendency to shrink. With all the effort they put into their product, knowing all the effort you will be putting forth when you wear them, you will be pleased to find yourself as happy and comfortable in your SmartWool gear at the end of your day as you are slipping into it at the very start. But all this cozy comfort is only the beginning of the wondrous aspects of this material.
· The true miracle that is SmartWool lies in the performance of their garments.
· The first thing to know about it is that it is a natural fiber; the merino wool that acts as a protective coat for the sheep who spend their lives between cold mountain highlands and warm southern summers in New Zealand. Their wool coats naturally keep them comfortably warm in the cold winter and comfortably cool in the warm summer months. By using the wool for clothing, people can experience the same wonderful insulating properties these sheep have developed over thousands of years.
· The reason that this merino wool works so wonderfully well as insulation is because each fiber is made up of thousands of incredibly small pockets of air which act just like the insulation you have in the walls of your house. They act as a blanket or buffer zone between the hot or cold outside and the ideal temperature you want inside.
· Just like your home helps keep you cool in the summer time and warm in the winter, these fibers will naturally regulate your body temperature, keeping you cool when it’s hot out and warm when it’s cool (or cold) out. They also just happen to be able to wick moisture away from your body faster than any other material you could find on earth. This means your skin stays comfortably dry longer, which is critical in cold weather. Having moist skin in freezing temperatures is a recipe for disaster. Also, unlike other man made materials designed for wicking moisture, SmartWool is able to transfer moisture (perspiration) while it’s still in a vapor state rather than needing to wait for it to convert into actual drops of liquid. What this does for you in hot weather is act like a kind of small air conditioner right next to your skin, radiating your body heat out and away from your body and keeping you more comfortably cool. So if you think “wool” is only for winter, think again about “Smart Wool“! For many serious outdoorsmen and women, it is #1 choice when it comes to thermal socks.
At meeting of the minds last week I asked each member of the group to share their opinion on a story in the news about a husband who shot his wife of 75 years. His daughter called it a mercy killing as his wife had Alzheimer's, couldn't sit up talk, feed or take care of herself or recognize anyone. The story brought up a talk on Euthanasia, a topic we have discussed frequently. It reminded me of a promise I made my best friend many years ago when he was dying.
Keeping promises. Based on the above, what do you have to offer? Give me a
brief pitch below.
Answer: I met my best friend Roy at summer orientation before our freshman year of college. I looked across the room saw this big six four Nordic blond as he turned and smiled at me and said, "There is my life's best friend." We were so close, our friends thought we were twins. The relationship was so strong, but completely platonic. When I was in my Doctoral program and Roy was working as a social worker, Roy Invited me to Visit. and as we walked around the Park told me he had AIDS.
Less than a year later, as he got sicker we each made a promise. He wanted to die easily and perhaps even commit suicide if it got really bad. He promised me he would tell me before he did it so we could say goodbye. He didn't want me to help him, but I said I would if he needed me. I promised that I would not tell his family that he was sick and that when he was ready to go that I would not let the doctors use extreme measures to save him.
As he got sicker, one of his illnesses made swallowing horribly painful. His weight when down to 75 pounds and his hair fell out, his cheeks caved in, his skin so thin and blueish, hung on his bones, he looked like an elderly man at Auswitch, and he was ready to be set free from his prison. I, at five feet one, could now carry him. He had a shunt to his heart for the IV hooked up to him 24/7. We teased that the food drip was easier than the Wendy's drive through and named the drip a burger and frosty with fries. He wanted to unplug the IVs when it got really bad. He talked me through his plan. I knew that he had chosen not to live with me, because he didn't want to be a burden and didn't want me to find him near death and call the ambulance. Instead, when he wasn't in one of his many long stays at the hospital he was living in a Aid Atlanta subsidized apartment.
I had turned down speaking engagements out of town, because I had been afraid leave him and perhaps loose him, while I was gone. As he got sicker and sicker But this conversation and promise made me realize he was ready to let go. When I did accept a week long training class out of town he pulled out his IVs. His family, who didn't even know he was sick, came to Atlanta and surrounded him at the hospital. I told them his wish so they would not go overboard with reviving him. He came out of the coma and said goodbye. I kept my promise.
Question 2: What is your experience with this topic?
Answer: I am a body language and relationship and an author of several books on communication www.Pattiwood.net
Question 3: Did making this promise change your life in a positive way?
What about the lives of others?
Answer: It was extreemly hard. It made me strong at a very young age. (We were both in our 20's. I realized the value of life.
Question 4: Do you feel the promise was helpful in motivating you to
keep your word and reach this goal?
Answer: I would have done anything to help him. He was in so much pain. But saying to his doctor and his famiy the promise I made gave them strength.
Question 5: Did making this promise help you overcome excuses for not
following through or periods of doubt and indecision?
Generally describe why you think the promise was helpful to
you in reaching this goal.
Answer: Because he requested the promise with the aboslute certaintly I would keep it. He knew I kept my promises. My commitment was already there. I made me realize that he belived in my strenght to keep the promise for him.
Question 6: Would you have achieved this goal or done this particular
thing if you had NOT made this promise?
Answer: I think I could, but I am not sure the Doctor and the family would have wanted to. Even though I had been with him for his last year.
Last Question: Anything else you`d like to add?
Answer: It is a hard promise. Now people have living wills. I would
recommend they put it in writing. If I hadn't had such an
amazing freindship it would have been even more difficult.
Keeping promises. Based on the above, what do you have to offer? Give me a
brief pitch below.
Answer: I met my best friend Roy at summer orientation before our freshman year of college. I looked across the room saw this big six four Nordic blond as he turned and smiled at me and said, "There is my life's best friend." We were so close, our friends thought we were twins. The relationship was so strong, but completely platonic. When I was in my Doctoral program and Roy was working as a social worker, Roy Invited me to Visit. and as we walked around the Park told me he had AIDS.
Less than a year later, as he got sicker we each made a promise. He wanted to die easily and perhaps even commit suicide if it got really bad. He promised me he would tell me before he did it so we could say goodbye. He didn't want me to help him, but I said I would if he needed me. I promised that I would not tell his family that he was sick and that when he was ready to go that I would not let the doctors use extreme measures to save him.
As he got sicker, one of his illnesses made swallowing horribly painful. His weight when down to 75 pounds and his hair fell out, his cheeks caved in, his skin so thin and blueish, hung on his bones, he looked like an elderly man at Auswitch, and he was ready to be set free from his prison. I, at five feet one, could now carry him. He had a shunt to his heart for the IV hooked up to him 24/7. We teased that the food drip was easier than the Wendy's drive through and named the drip a burger and frosty with fries. He wanted to unplug the IVs when it got really bad. He talked me through his plan. I knew that he had chosen not to live with me, because he didn't want to be a burden and didn't want me to find him near death and call the ambulance. Instead, when he wasn't in one of his many long stays at the hospital he was living in a Aid Atlanta subsidized apartment.
I had turned down speaking engagements out of town, because I had been afraid leave him and perhaps loose him, while I was gone. As he got sicker and sicker But this conversation and promise made me realize he was ready to let go. When I did accept a week long training class out of town he pulled out his IVs. His family, who didn't even know he was sick, came to Atlanta and surrounded him at the hospital. I told them his wish so they would not go overboard with reviving him. He came out of the coma and said goodbye. I kept my promise.
Question 2: What is your experience with this topic?
Answer: I am a body language and relationship and an author of several books on communication www.Pattiwood.net
Question 3: Did making this promise change your life in a positive way?
What about the lives of others?
Answer: It was extreemly hard. It made me strong at a very young age. (We were both in our 20's. I realized the value of life.
Question 4: Do you feel the promise was helpful in motivating you to
keep your word and reach this goal?
Answer: I would have done anything to help him. He was in so much pain. But saying to his doctor and his famiy the promise I made gave them strength.
Question 5: Did making this promise help you overcome excuses for not
following through or periods of doubt and indecision?
Generally describe why you think the promise was helpful to
you in reaching this goal.
Answer: Because he requested the promise with the aboslute certaintly I would keep it. He knew I kept my promises. My commitment was already there. I made me realize that he belived in my strenght to keep the promise for him.
Question 6: Would you have achieved this goal or done this particular
thing if you had NOT made this promise?
Answer: I think I could, but I am not sure the Doctor and the family would have wanted to. Even though I had been with him for his last year.
Last Question: Anything else you`d like to add?
Answer: It is a hard promise. Now people have living wills. I would
recommend they put it in writing. If I hadn't had such an
amazing freindship it would have been even more difficult.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Get Anyone to Return Your Phone Call.
"I appreciate what you done." "Please give me a call and I will fill you in."
"I am so excited, give me a call and we will talk about it ."
"You were right, when you call me we will go over it."
"I know your going to love it when you call we can talk about it."
Leave a message that in some way shows your apperception, but isn’t clear as to what it is about. Curious people will try to reach you to clarity what the message is about. You need to make sure you are in integrity when leaving these messages. You need to really know the person. Your appreciation must be honest. Finally, your future conversation shouldn't be an unexpected hard sell.
Friday, September 03, 2010
In my book, "Power Up Your Power Point Presentations", I share the importance of making the first thing you say, do or show your audience be unique. The primitive brain looks for the what is different from the norm. So the first slide needs to be different from what the audience expects. And because of the way the eye focuses on a flat object such as a power point slide, you need to make sure your slides are not all the same, and yet all your slides only contain the most important information. Here is a recent research study on eye tracking that discusses how the eyes track information that supports the "Make it novel and unique" trick.
"Records of eye movements show that the observer's attention is usually held only by certain elements of the picture.... Eye movement reflects the human thought processes; so the observer's thought may be followed to some extent from records of eye movement (the thought accompanying the examination of the particular object). It is easy to determine from these records which elements attract the observer's eye (and, consequently, his thought), in what order, and how often." [8]
"The observer's attention is frequently drawn to elements which do not give important information but which, in his opinion, may do so. Often an observer will focus his attention on elements that are unusual in the particular circumstances, unfamiliar, incomprehensible, and so on." [9]
"... when changing its points of fixation, the observer's eye repeatedly returns to the same elements of the picture. Additional time spent on perception is not used to examine the secondary elements, but to reexamine the most important elements." [10]
"Records of eye movements show that the observer's attention is usually held only by certain elements of the picture.... Eye movement reflects the human thought processes; so the observer's thought may be followed to some extent from records of eye movement (the thought accompanying the examination of the particular object). It is easy to determine from these records which elements attract the observer's eye (and, consequently, his thought), in what order, and how often." [8]
"The observer's attention is frequently drawn to elements which do not give important information but which, in his opinion, may do so. Often an observer will focus his attention on elements that are unusual in the particular circumstances, unfamiliar, incomprehensible, and so on." [9]
"... when changing its points of fixation, the observer's eye repeatedly returns to the same elements of the picture. Additional time spent on perception is not used to examine the secondary elements, but to reexamine the most important elements." [10]
Quick tricks to use if you freeze up in a speech or interview. Six great ways to combat speaking anxiety.
First here is the video of the Arizona Governor freezing up during a televised debate.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp=38988775�
When we are under stress the lymbic brain can make us go into stress triggers Freeze Flight Fight response.
What can you do if you freeze up and can;t think of what to say or forget your line or forget what you are going to say during a speech or interview?
One- Have a room temperature glass or bottle of water and quickly pick it up and take a sip, perhaps putting your hand up to single wait a moment. The action helps your brain switch off the "freeze" response.
Two-Immediately go to a line that you can practice in advance, "This is so important I want to refer to my notes." The Governor went to her notes, which is fine, but she could have done that smoothly and more quickly if she had practiced that line.
Three-Repeat what you just said, perhaps even using the bridge phrase, Let me repeat that, and or saying it more loudly forcefully or slowly. Sometimes, you freeze because what you just said is your final thought or feeling on the topic and you really don't have anything else to say. It can be enough and the repetition makes it sound confident and gives the message closure.
Four-Say what is true about what you just said, for example, "This is important.", "That's what I feel." "We should remember this." It strong and it as tip three makes what you just said a final thought.
Five-
"When I talk about this I feel so strongly about it that my emotions come out." or refer to your emotions in the moment with, "I feel so strongly about this, that for a moment.
Six-Smile and or laugh or joke and be in the moment and say whatever fits your personality and the group and topic for example, "I forgot what I was going to say." "Goodness, I just had a goldfish memory moment." "My mama told me there would be moments like this.", "Just talk amonst yourselves why I look for my memory!"
First here is the video of the Arizona Governor freezing up during a televised debate.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp=38988775�
When we are under stress the lymbic brain can make us go into stress triggers Freeze Flight Fight response.
What can you do if you freeze up and can;t think of what to say or forget your line or forget what you are going to say during a speech or interview?
One- Have a room temperature glass or bottle of water and quickly pick it up and take a sip, perhaps putting your hand up to single wait a moment. The action helps your brain switch off the "freeze" response.
Two-Immediately go to a line that you can practice in advance, "This is so important I want to refer to my notes." The Governor went to her notes, which is fine, but she could have done that smoothly and more quickly if she had practiced that line.
Three-Repeat what you just said, perhaps even using the bridge phrase, Let me repeat that, and or saying it more loudly forcefully or slowly. Sometimes, you freeze because what you just said is your final thought or feeling on the topic and you really don't have anything else to say. It can be enough and the repetition makes it sound confident and gives the message closure.
Four-Say what is true about what you just said, for example, "This is important.", "That's what I feel." "We should remember this." It strong and it as tip three makes what you just said a final thought.
Five-
"When I talk about this I feel so strongly about it that my emotions come out." or refer to your emotions in the moment with, "I feel so strongly about this, that for a moment.
Six-Smile and or laugh or joke and be in the moment and say whatever fits your personality and the group and topic for example, "I forgot what I was going to say." "Goodness, I just had a goldfish memory moment." "My mama told me there would be moments like this.", "Just talk amonst yourselves why I look for my memory!"
One of my friends sent me the following funny communication humor to me. I laughed out loud as I read it. You may be able to quote this funny joke material in your speech, meeting or training program.
Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way,UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. So you CAN have a sense of humor and still be great at your task!
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics..
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.
Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way,UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. So you CAN have a sense of humor and still be great at your task!
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics..
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.
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