Ophra has her favorite things list and I have my top ten, this year top 15 list of my favorite things for 2010. I just love the products. The products are fun, and some would make great little inexpensive stocking stuffers. The criteria for the list is that I had to discover the product in 2010 and recommend it to a friend or family member who agreed it was wonderful. Check out the blog for past years lists. I don’t get kickbacks from the companies. I would love to help you find the perfect gift or stocking stuffer for your family or friends. There are some great gift ideas for your business clients as well.

1. The Iphone 4 Google APP - I discovered this App at a party. We were having a hot and heavy discussion about world hunger that somehow morphed into a debate on the actor Timothy Hutton’s real age. A friend pulled out his Iphone and hit a big blue G icon. It is the amazingly quick and accurate Voice Recognition Google App for the Google search engine. My friend said into the phone the phrase, “Timothy Hutton’s age.” and the websites with Hutton’s age came up immediately. I went and got a cell phone and ordered the App the next week. I use the App every day. It solves that memory burp, tip of the tongue, or I am right and you’re wrong discussion problem. It also helps you find the best coffee shop, book store or Sushi bar nearest to you when you’re traveling.
2. The Week - The weekly news magazine and online news source. This magazine makes me feel brilliant, insightful and informed. Well, at least I feel that way the first few hours after I read it! For years I read this magazine whenever I was over at my friend Judith’s house. Last year she gave me a subscription for Christmas. I love it. It is designed like the original version of Time magazine. It takes the weeks hot news topics and quotes several publication’s views and facts all in one article. So say you are reading an article on North Korea. They will quote The New York Times, The Republic, The Washington Post and the Huntington Post within the piece. You have several viewpoints. It is so illuminating. You start reading a piece and you form an opinion then by the time you’re finished reading all the quotes you often have a broader and less biased perspective on the issue. They also have a weekly recipe and Top TV show and or movie recommendations to watch. I had a fun moment this year when my favorite magazine quoted me! What a kick. My other favorite is Bloomberg BusinessWeek. I love the new incarnation of BuisnessWeek. It is smart and sassy. Though I will admit I am biased as they started quoting me for their fun articles on body language. Check out the articles online they range from Elevator body language, to body language at Starbucks and the waiting area at Airports.
3. Pinks Greatest Hits album - Actually, just one song. It is the best rock out, car dancing, hand in the air, singing at the top of your lungs song. It is called, “Raise Your Glass.” I haven’t loved a song and played a song over and over like this in years. I heard it once and had to go to three stores to find it. The song is the beat of my drives and the song that rocks my house cleaning. Again. I have not had a song singing in my head like this for years. In fact, the last song that made me rock out like this was Sheryl Crowe’s, “Winding Road.” Here is the only caveat. It has profanity in it. I wish I could change a few lyrics, but the beat is awesome. Ben, who is the parking attendant at my Thursday night Meeting of the Minds restaurant, laughed when he saw me pull in with the windows down and singing this song at the top of my lungs. He has known me for years. He said he didn’t figure me for a Pink fan. I didn’t either, but I am hooked on that song. Her rendition on the album of the 80’s tune, “I’m Coming Out” Is groovy too. I got the album at Borders. Do know that when I did a body language piece for Billboard this year that I said my favorite album was the soundtrack from the Jeff Bridges movie CRAZY HEART now I am rocking to a different beat!
4. Eddy’s Peppermint Ice Cream - Only out in stores in December this ice cream is smooth and creamy with little crunches of peppermint sticks. The perfect holiday dessert when you are too tired from shopping and decorating and wrapping presents to want to do more than open the carton and dish out the yum. You need to have company in the house when you serve it, or you may be tempted to eat the whole carton. It is low in calories!
5. SmartWool Socks - They are soft and warm and they don’t shrink or itch. I have a long description of these magic socks at the end of this list. Let me just say, that for the first time I can remember my feet are comfy and truly warm on my daily walks. I had no idea that great, environmentally friendly socks could make such a difference. And they come in snazzy prints and colors. They cost the moon, but it is so worth it. I buy them in a three pack at my discount shoe store.
6. Kate and Cassie Pinot Grigio - Most of my friends and family who drink wine like a Pinot Grigio. I love the crisp pear taste in this wine and you can get it when you’re buying the cereal I mention below as they sell this fresh summer wine at Target.
7. Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day Counter Top Spray in Lavender - I love this stuff. It smells so fresh and clean. I use it every day and spray down the counters just before company comes over so the house smells good.
8. Target Archer Farms Chocolate Hazelnut Biscotti Granola Cereal - It is delicious. Basically it is cookies and milk for breakfast. Though I have it for a meal. In fact, it is one of my favorite late night dinners when I come home from a long trip. You buy it the food section at Target.
9. Essen Hand Soap in the Big Brown Pump Bottle - I love all the scents. In the kitchen I use the Citrus Ginger scented soap and in the bathrooms I have mint.
10. Now Solutions Grape Seed Oil - My friend Pat had been using Olive Oil on her face for a year and her skin was clear and moist and she looked incredible so I started using it. Then she told me that the grape seed oil was even better as it didn't have any odor. There are no chemicals or preservatives, just the oil. You can find it in any health food store. I put a few drops on my face and hands at night and a few drops on my face over my suntan lotion before my daily walk.
11. I have had problems with frizzy dry hair for years. Then I discovered Peter Coppola Fascino Olive Oil Shampoo and Conditioner. It leaves my hair so silky. It is hard to find in stores, but you can get in online.
12. Asqith & Somerset Grapefruit Sugarcane Exfoliating Sugar Scrub - I am not a fan of flowery bath stuff. I love a clean citrus scent. This leaves your skin soft. You do have to scrub the tub down after you use it as it has oil in the mixture that makes the tub slick.
13. Eucerin Dry Skin Therapy Calming Cream - I keep this in my purse in the winter. You can get it at Target or CVS.
14. Aquarphor Healing Ointment - It comes in a little tiny white tube. I put it on my lips to keep them plump and moist, though that is not listed as a use for the product. You can get this
at Target or CVS.
15. Keratin Complex - It is an expensive, wonderful smelling hair cuticle smoothing luxury for your hair. You put it on after you partially dry your hair. I wish it came in a travel size. You can find it at Ultra Cosmetics. But you may want to wait till they have a coupon discount for the store as it is pricey.


SmartWood Socks
· If you have done any research at all on outdoor clothing, especially under garments and socks, there is no doubt you are familiar with, or have at least heard of the name brand, Smart Wool. If not, it’s time for you to get in the loop and on the band wagon!
· SmartWool is not only a clever name – though it is that as it perfectly and succinctly describes the product itself – but it is a brilliant product itself. It does a marvelous job of blending the best of what nature has to offer with technology and humanity to produce the absolute finest material you could ever hope to wear against your skin whether your outdoor endeavors are modest, extreme, blazing hot, icy cold or anywhere in between any of those points. It works incredibly well in all conditions consistently delivering top performance in a single, versatile product. And on top of all that performance… SmartWool clothing is unbelievably comfortable to wear! Nothing whatsoever like the itchy, smelly wool you may remember from years gone by.
· SmartWool gets their base supply of top quality merino wool from wool growers in New Zealand. Not only are these wool growers (sheep herders? not sure what to call them) among the best in the world, but they abide by strict ethical, humanitarian standards in the manner in which they raise and manage their sheep. Not only that, but they adhere to a system that allows for tracking back of all materials to ensure that all products really do come from where they claim.
· On top of the high praise just outlined, SmartWool also utilizes a unique manufacturing process that removes all the negative aspects that might be associated with wool, such as itchy-ness or the tendency to shrink. With all the effort they put into their product, knowing all the effort you will be putting forth when you wear them, you will be pleased to find yourself as happy and comfortable in your SmartWool gear at the end of your day as you are slipping into it at the very start. But all this cozy comfort is only the beginning of the wondrous aspects of this material.
· The true miracle that is SmartWool lies in the performance of their garments.
· The first thing to know about it is that it is a natural fiber; the merino wool that acts as a protective coat for the sheep who spend their lives between cold mountain highlands and warm southern summers in New Zealand. Their wool coats naturally keep them comfortably warm in the cold winter and comfortably cool in the warm summer months. By using the wool for clothing, people can experience the same wonderful insulating properties these sheep have developed over thousands of years.
· The reason that this merino wool works so wonderfully well as insulation is because each fiber is made up of thousands of incredibly small pockets of air which act just like the insulation you have in the walls of your house. They act as a blanket or buffer zone between the hot or cold outside and the ideal temperature you want inside.
· Just like your home helps keep you cool in the summer time and warm in the winter, these fibers will naturally regulate your body temperature, keeping you cool when it’s hot out and warm when it’s cool (or cold) out. They also just happen to be able to wick moisture away from your body faster than any other material you could find on earth. This means your skin stays comfortably dry longer, which is critical in cold weather. Having moist skin in freezing temperatures is a recipe for disaster. Also, unlike other man made materials designed for wicking moisture, SmartWool is able to transfer moisture (perspiration) while it’s still in a vapor state rather than needing to wait for it to convert into actual drops of liquid. What this does for you in hot weather is act like a kind of small air conditioner right next to your skin, radiating your body heat out and away from your body and keeping you more comfortably cool. So if you think “wool” is only for winter, think again about “Smart Wool“! For many serious outdoorsmen and women, it is #1 choice when it comes to thermal socks.

At meeting of the minds last week I asked each member of the group to share their opinion on a story in the news about a husband who shot his wife of 75 years. His daughter called it a mercy killing as his wife had Alzheimer's, couldn't sit up talk, feed or take care of herself or recognize anyone. The story brought up a talk on Euthanasia, a topic we have discussed frequently. It reminded me of a promise I made my best friend many years ago when he was dying.

Keeping promises. Based on the above, what do you have to offer? Give me a
brief pitch below.

Answer: I met my best friend Roy at summer orientation before our freshman year of college. I looked across the room saw this big six four Nordic blond as he turned and smiled at me and said, "There is my life's best friend." We were so close, our friends thought we were twins. The relationship was so strong, but completely platonic. When I was in my Doctoral program and Roy was working as a social worker, Roy Invited me to Visit. and as we walked around the Park told me he had AIDS.

Less than a year later, as he got sicker we each made a promise. He wanted to die easily and perhaps even commit suicide if it got really bad. He promised me he would tell me before he did it so we could say goodbye. He didn't want me to help him, but I said I would if he needed me. I promised that I would not tell his family that he was sick and that when he was ready to go that I would not let the doctors use extreme measures to save him.

As he got sicker, one of his illnesses made swallowing horribly painful. His weight when down to 75 pounds and his hair fell out, his cheeks caved in, his skin so thin and blueish, hung on his bones, he looked like an elderly man at Auswitch, and he was ready to be set free from his prison. I, at five feet one, could now carry him. He had a shunt to his heart for the IV hooked up to him 24/7. We teased that the food drip was easier than the Wendy's drive through and named the drip a burger and frosty with fries. He wanted to unplug the IVs when it got really bad. He talked me through his plan. I knew that he had chosen not to live with me, because he didn't want to be a burden and didn't want me to find him near death and call the ambulance. Instead, when he wasn't in one of his many long stays at the hospital he was living in a Aid Atlanta subsidized apartment.
I had turned down speaking engagements out of town, because I had been afraid leave him and perhaps loose him, while I was gone. As he got sicker and sicker But this conversation and promise made me realize he was ready to let go. When I did accept a week long training class out of town he pulled out his IVs. His family, who didn't even know he was sick, came to Atlanta and surrounded him at the hospital. I told them his wish so they would not go overboard with reviving him. He came out of the coma and said goodbye. I kept my promise.


Question 2: What is your experience with this topic?

Answer: I am a body language and relationship and an author of several books on communication www.Pattiwood.net


Question 3: Did making this promise change your life in a positive way?
What about the lives of others?

Answer: It was extreemly hard. It made me strong at a very young age. (We were both in our 20's. I realized the value of life.


Question 4: Do you feel the promise was helpful in motivating you to
keep your word and reach this goal?

Answer: I would have done anything to help him. He was in so much pain. But saying to his doctor and his famiy the promise I made gave them strength.


Question 5: Did making this promise help you overcome excuses for not
following through or periods of doubt and indecision?
Generally describe why you think the promise was helpful to
you in reaching this goal.

Answer: Because he requested the promise with the aboslute certaintly I would keep it. He knew I kept my promises. My commitment was already there. I made me realize that he belived in my strenght to keep the promise for him.

Question 6: Would you have achieved this goal or done this particular
thing if you had NOT made this promise?

Answer: I think I could, but I am not sure the Doctor and the family would have wanted to. Even though I had been with him for his last year.


Last Question: Anything else you`d like to add?

Answer: It is a hard promise. Now people have living wills. I would
recommend they put it in writing. If I hadn't had such an
amazing freindship it would have been even more difficult.

Get Anyone to Return Your Phone Call.

"I appreciate what you done." "Please give me a call and I will fill you in."

"I am so excited, give me a call and we will talk about it ."

"You were right, when you call me we will go over it."

"I know your going to love it when you call we can talk about it."

Leave a message that in some way shows your apperception, but isn’t clear as to what it is about. Curious people will try to reach you to clarity what the message is about. You need to make sure you are in integrity when leaving these messages. You need to really know the person. Your appreciation must be honest. Finally, your future conversation shouldn't be an unexpected hard sell.

In my book, "Power Up Your Power Point Presentations", I share the importance of making the first thing you say, do or show your audience be unique. The primitive brain looks for the what is different from the norm. So the first slide needs to be different from what the audience expects. And because of the way the eye focuses on a flat object such as a power point slide, you need to make sure your slides are not all the same, and yet all your slides only contain the most important information. Here is a recent research study on eye tracking that discusses how the eyes track information that supports the "Make it novel and unique" trick.

"Records of eye movements show that the observer's attention is usually held only by certain elements of the picture.... Eye movement reflects the human thought processes; so the observer's thought may be followed to some extent from records of eye movement (the thought accompanying the examination of the particular object). It is easy to determine from these records which elements attract the observer's eye (and, consequently, his thought), in what order, and how often." [8]
"The observer's attention is frequently drawn to elements which do not give important information but which, in his opinion, may do so. Often an observer will focus his attention on elements that are unusual in the particular circumstances, unfamiliar, incomprehensible, and so on." [9]
"... when changing its points of fixation, the observer's eye repeatedly returns to the same elements of the picture. Additional time spent on perception is not used to examine the secondary elements, but to reexamine the most important elements." [10]

Quick tricks to use if you freeze up in a speech or interview. Six great ways to combat speaking anxiety.

First here is the video of the Arizona Governor freezing up during a televised debate.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp=38988775�
When we are under stress the lymbic brain can make us go into stress triggers Freeze Flight Fight response.
What can you do if you freeze up and can;t think of what to say or forget your line or forget what you are going to say during a speech or interview?

One- Have a room temperature glass or bottle of water and quickly pick it up and take a sip, perhaps putting your hand up to single wait a moment. The action helps your brain switch off the "freeze" response.

Two-Immediately go to a line that you can practice in advance, "This is so important I want to refer to my notes." The Governor went to her notes, which is fine, but she could have done that smoothly and more quickly if she had practiced that line.

Three-Repeat what you just said, perhaps even using the bridge phrase, Let me repeat that, and or saying it more loudly forcefully or slowly. Sometimes, you freeze because what you just said is your final thought or feeling on the topic and you really don't have anything else to say. It can be enough and the repetition makes it sound confident and gives the message closure.

Four-Say what is true about what you just said, for example, "This is important.", "That's what I feel." "We should remember this." It strong and it as tip three makes what you just said a final thought.

Five-
"When I talk about this I feel so strongly about it that my emotions come out." or refer to your emotions in the moment with, "I feel so strongly about this, that for a moment.

Six-Smile and or laugh or joke and be in the moment and say whatever fits your personality and the group and topic for example, "I forgot what I was going to say." "Goodness, I just had a goldfish memory moment." "My mama told me there would be moments like this.", "Just talk amonst yourselves why I look for my memory!"

One of my friends sent me the following funny communication humor to me. I laughed out loud as I read it. You may be able to quote this funny joke material in your speech, meeting or training program.

Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way,UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. So you CAN have a sense of humor and still be great at your task!


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics..
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-- Ben Williams

Here are free funny lines from my friend Jeff Justices website.
Jeff Teaches an awesome stand up comedy class

14 Ways To Know If You've Been in Corporate America Too Long

1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.

2. You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organization."

3. You refer to dating as test marketing.

4. You can spell "paradigm."

5. You actually know what a paradigm is.

6. You understand your airline's fare structure.

7. You write executive summaries on your love letters.

8. Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points.

9. You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten-page presentation with six
other people you don't know.

10. You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review.

11. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and
"improvement opportunities."

12. You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as
"highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt."

13. You end every argument by saying "let's talk about this off-line."

14. You give constructive feedback to your dog.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks


Matterhorn


The Big Short


The Imperfectionists









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See all of the top 10


















Fiction

































Ship Breaker


The Hand That First Held Mine


Where the God of Love Hangs Out


Rock Paper Tiger









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Nonfiction

































The Possessed


Operation Mincemeat


Medium Raw


WAR









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Kids and Teens

































The Dark Days of Hamburger Halpin


Cosmic


Will Grayson, Will Grayson


The Quiet Book









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More to Explore

































Best of 2010... So Far in Movies & TV


Best of 2010... So Far in Music


Best Books of August


Summer Reading

This looks like a good book
book recommendations


Tom Rachman on The Imperfectionists


I grew up in peaceful Vancouver with two psychologists for parents, a sister with whom I squabbled in the obligatory ways, and an adorably dim-witted spaniel whose leg waggled when I tickled his belly. Not the stuff of literature, it seemed to me.

During university, I had developed a passion for reading: essays by George Orwell, short stories by Isaac Bashevis Singer, novels by Tolstoy. By graduation, books had shoved aside all other contenders. A writer--perhaps I could become one of those.

There was a slight problem: my life to date.

By 22, I hadn't engaged in a bullfight. I'd not kept a mistress or been kept by one. I'd never been stabbed in a street brawl. I'd not been mistreated by my parents, or addicted to anything sordid. I'd never fought a duel to the death with anyone.

It was time to remedy this. Or parts of it, anyway. I would see the world, read, write, and pay my bills in the process. My plan was to join the press corps, to become a foreign correspondent, to emerge on the other side with handsome scars, mussed hair, and a novel.

Years passed. I worked as an editor at the Associated Press in New York, venturing briefly to South Asia to report on war (from a very safe distance; I was never brave). Next, I was dispatched to Rome, where I wrote about the Italian government, the Mafia, the Vatican, and other reliable sources of scandal.

Suddenly--too soon for my liking--I was turning thirty. My research, I realized, had become alarmingly similar to a career. To imagine a future in journalism, a trade that I had never loved, terrified me.

So, with a fluttery stomach, I handed in my resignation, exchanging a promising job for an improbable hope. I took my life savings and moved to Paris, where I knew not a soul and whose language I spoke only haltingly. Solitude was what I sought: a cozy apartment, a cup of tea, my laptop. I switched it on. One year later, I had a novel.

And it was terrible.

My plan – all those years in journalism--had been a blunder, it seemed. The writing I had aspired to do was beyond me. I lacked talent. And I was broke.

Dejected, I nursed myself with a little white wine, goat cheese and baguette, then took the subway to the International Herald Tribune on the outskirts of Paris to apply for a job. Weeks later, I was seated at the copy desk, composing headlines and photo captions, aching over my failure. I had bungled my twenties. I was abroad, lonely, stuck.

But after many dark months, I found myself imagining again. I strolled through Parisian streets, and characters strolled through my mind, sat themselves down, folded their arms before me, declaring, "So, do you have a story for me?"

I switched on my computer and tried once more.

This time, it was different. My previous attempt hadn't produced a book, but it had honed my technique. And I stopped fretting about whether I possessed the skill to become a writer, and focused instead on the hard work of writing. Before, I had winced at every flawed passage. Now, I toiled with my head down, rarely peeking at the words flowing across the screen.

I revised, I refined, I tweaked, I polished. Not until exhaustion--not until the novel that I had aspired to write was very nearly the one I had produced--did I allow myself to assess it.

To my amazement, a book emerged. I remain nearly incredulous that my plan, hatched over a decade ago, came together. At times, I walk to the bookshelf at my home in Italy, take down a copy of The Imperfectionists, double-check the name on the spine: Tom Rachman. Yes, I think that's me.

In the end, my travels included neither bullfights nor duels. And the book doesn't, either. Instead, it contains views over Paris, cocktails in Rome, street markets in Cairo; the ruckus of an old-style newsroom and the shuddering rise of technology; a foreign correspondent faking a news story, a media executive falling for the man she just fired. And did I mention a rather adorable if slobbery dog?

From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. In his zinger of a debut, Rachman deftly applies his experience as foreign correspondent and editor to chart the goings-on at a scrappy English-language newspaper in Rome. Chapters read like exquisite short stories, turning out the intersecting lives of the men and women who produce the paper—and one woman who reads it religiously, if belatedly. In the opening chapter, aging, dissolute Paris correspondent Lloyd Burko pressures his estranged son to leak information from the French Foreign Ministry, and in the process unearths startling family fare that won't sell a single edition. Obit writer Arthur Gopal, whose overarching goal at the paper is indolence, encounters personal tragedy and, with it, unexpected career ambition. Late in the book, as the paper buckles, recently laid-off copyeditor Dave Belling seduces the CFO who fired him. Throughout, the founding publisher's progeny stagger under a heritage they don't understand. As the ragtag staff faces down the implications of the paper's tilt into oblivion, there are more than enough sublime moments, unexpected turns and sheer inky wretchedness to warrant putting this on the shelf next to other great newspaper novels. (Apr.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
See all Editorial Reviews

What's your advice for getting calm and relaxed before public speaking or an important meeting? One night when I was in Grad School I was nervously going over material for my first presentation on to my body language professor, He was the expert in my chosen field and I kept imagining myself messing up forgetting what I wanted to say and not being able to answer any of the professors question. My boy friend Michael came in my office. He realized I was a nervous wreck, He said, “Patti, you know in college I was sold books door to door in the summer and I was the top sales men for the company. When I started I imagined I was going to fail, I rehearsed my failure, that I wouldn’t know what to say or not be able to answer questions. But I learned from my boss to visualize my success. Michael sat me down and had me visualize my presentation. I rehearsed my successful speech from the start to finish, what I would do nonverbally how I would stand how brilliant I would sound, how the audience would smile and nod their heads, How brilliant I would be, how the professor would praise me and the audience would give round of applause. From that day on I have visualized my success the night before every single speech or TV interview. It makes an enormous difference in my confidence level. When I am traveling and giving a speech I like to see the banquet room the night before so I can see myself and the audience in the actual room, when I am going on TV I watch the show or ask the producer about the set were I will be sitting.

How do you deal with remote media interviews?
Another body language difficulty comes when you’re interviewed remotely and you are talking to a camera and forced to interact with it as if it was a person. That took me awhile to get used to and the bright lights in your eyes in those remote shoots will tend to make you blink. Prepare for those interviews as well so you can stay looking at the camera and smiling and nodding your head and leaning forward to it in response to the interviewer. Again just as if it was a person. Story about Wrigley gum, Story about Pup-peroni.

To help you be aware of your body language and insure you are in sync in a media interview?
Practice answering the questions out loud. Don’t just read them off your computer silently. Use you’re the video device on your computer or phone to record your answers so you see and hear your responses and can self monitor. In my experience most journalist and producers have very short deadlines, sometimes only 4 or 5 minute deadlines before they have to move on the cover the next story so you need to practice answering questions quickly for TV and Radio you need to practice giving not only quick clear responses but also one sentence rather than a paragraph response. That is the part that I find is difficult for my media coaching clients. They want to explain their answers or add on to them and in a live broadcast there is not time for that. So if you haven’t practiced giving short answers you can get flustered as most hosts want to keep the pace of the show going and will interrupt you or jump in with a pithy comment if your don’t give them a high energy quick response. So Practice responding to questions with one sentence and watch your mouth and eyes on the tape to make sure your expression and tone match the word message. Someone experts look to the host to for feedback that they have done a good job or make a face if they feel they didn’t give a great answer or if they are interrupted. You need to make sure your face stays still or shows interest in the conversation when you finish speaking. I can’t tell you how many times I see guests face scrunch up after they finish talking.

How do you deal with stressful media interviews?
When I am working with my media coaching clients I help them prepare. You need to prepare answers for all the questions you can possibly be asked,
Make sure you also brainstorm all the questions you hope they won’t ask and prepare a response for those tough questions as well.

What kind of body language exudes confidence and approachability in an interview or meeting? Prepare. Find out if you are going to standing or sitting and if you’re sitting if you will be on a stool, chair or sofa. Ideally you want your body to be relaxed and open. You want to show your confidence by taking up space leaning backwards and forwards as the interview or meeting goes on rather than freezing or planting in one fixed pose.

When you survive, when you have suffered mightily, when you are still moving, walking living... everything you do have is pure gravey.

The seventheenth century English teologian Jeremy Taylor is quoted in Love and Death,
'I am fallen into the hands of publicans and sequestrators, and they have taken all from me. what now:Le me look aobut me. They have left me the sun, moon, fire and water, a loving wife, and many freinds to pity me and some to relieve me."

More from the book,



"Everyone suffers, but not everyone despairs."

Another quote that shows you what you can do when loved ones and freinds are dealing with loss, grief and death, >we know what we've lost. But other people can't face it. They can't talk about it. They're frightened." "They are frightened of us too." "as if we had some kind of disease that they might catch if they got too close."

When my father died two weeks before what was supposed to be my last semester of college I had friends that stopped talking to me, stopped calling, friends who would even walk to the other side of the street when they saw me walking towards them on campus, just to avoid me. They didn't know how to be with someone grieving, so they avoiding being with me. It was terribly painful. It was a hard earned lesson that just being with someone is grieving is a greatest gift you can give them. Just being in the pain with them. Not running, hiding or placating just being.

A few weeks ago the mother of my friend Jim passed away. I have been searching for a book to give him. Something about grieving and loss and hope. Last night a friend read me a passage from a wonderful book on grief called Love & Death by Forrest Church.
Here is a quote
"My heart has broken again.. and for that I am overwhelmingly thankful; without love this would not be possible."

Ever notice how what people say about others tells you a lot about them? Happy people talk about their wonderful friend's, how great everyone at work is and how nice the cashier at the bank was today. Angry and sad people talk about how their boss sucks and the co-worker is an idiot and the waiter incompetent. Just think of the telling interview question, "How did you get along with your last boss?" You know the interviewer is seeking information about your boss not about you. says more about you than it may about them. Here is research that shows what you already know.

Science News
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What You Say About Others Says a Lot About You, Research Shows
ScienceDaily (Aug. 2, 2010) — How positively you see others is linked to how happy, kind-hearted and emotionally stable you are, according to new research by a Wake Forest University psychology professor.
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"Your perceptions of others reveal so much about your own personality," says Dustin Wood, assistant professor of psychology at Wake Forest and lead author of the study, about his findings. By asking study participants to each rate positive and negative characteristics of just three people, the researchers were able to find out important information about the rater's well-being, mental health, social attitudes and how they were judged by others.
The study appears in the July issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Peter Harms at the University of Nebraska and Simine Vazire of Washington University in St. Louis co-authored the study.
The researchers found a person's tendency to describe others in positive terms is an important indicator of the positivity of the person's own personality traits. They discovered particularly strong associations between positively judging others and how enthusiastic, happy, kind-hearted, courteous, emotionally stable and capable the person describes oneself and is described by others.
"Seeing others positively reveals our own positive traits," Wood says.
The study also found that how positively you see other people shows how satisfied you are with your own life, and how much you are liked by others.
In contrast, negative perceptions of others are linked to higher levels of narcissism and antisocial behavior. "A huge suite of negative personality traits are associated with viewing others negatively," Wood says. "The simple tendency to see people negatively indicates a greater likelihood of depression and various personality disorders." Given that negative perceptions of others may underlie several personality disorders, finding techniques to get people to see others more positively could promote the cessation of behavior patterns associated with several different personality disorders simultaneously, Wood says.
This research suggests that when you ask someone to rate the personality of a particular coworker or acquaintance, you may learn as much about the rater providing the personality description as the person they are describing. The level of negativity the rater uses in describing the other person may indeed indicate that the other person has negative characteristics, but may also be a tip off that the rater is unhappy, disagreeable, neurotic -- or has other negative personality traits.
Raters in the study consisted of friends rating one another, college freshmen rating others they knew in their dormitories, and fraternity and sorority members rating others in their organization. In all samples, participants rated real people and the positivity of their ratings were found to be associated with the participant's own characteristics.
By evaluating the raters and how they evaluated their peers again one year later, Wood found compelling evidence that how positively we tend to perceive others in our social environment is a highly stable trait that does not change substantially over time.
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