Get Anyone to Return Your Phone Call.

"I appreciate what you done." "Please give me a call and I will fill you in."

"I am so excited, give me a call and we will talk about it ."

"You were right, when you call me we will go over it."

"I know your going to love it when you call we can talk about it."

Leave a message that in some way shows your apperception, but isn’t clear as to what it is about. Curious people will try to reach you to clarity what the message is about. You need to make sure you are in integrity when leaving these messages. You need to really know the person. Your appreciation must be honest. Finally, your future conversation shouldn't be an unexpected hard sell.

In my book, "Power Up Your Power Point Presentations", I share the importance of making the first thing you say, do or show your audience be unique. The primitive brain looks for the what is different from the norm. So the first slide needs to be different from what the audience expects. And because of the way the eye focuses on a flat object such as a power point slide, you need to make sure your slides are not all the same, and yet all your slides only contain the most important information. Here is a recent research study on eye tracking that discusses how the eyes track information that supports the "Make it novel and unique" trick.

"Records of eye movements show that the observer's attention is usually held only by certain elements of the picture.... Eye movement reflects the human thought processes; so the observer's thought may be followed to some extent from records of eye movement (the thought accompanying the examination of the particular object). It is easy to determine from these records which elements attract the observer's eye (and, consequently, his thought), in what order, and how often." [8]
"The observer's attention is frequently drawn to elements which do not give important information but which, in his opinion, may do so. Often an observer will focus his attention on elements that are unusual in the particular circumstances, unfamiliar, incomprehensible, and so on." [9]
"... when changing its points of fixation, the observer's eye repeatedly returns to the same elements of the picture. Additional time spent on perception is not used to examine the secondary elements, but to reexamine the most important elements." [10]

Quick tricks to use if you freeze up in a speech or interview. Six great ways to combat speaking anxiety.

First here is the video of the Arizona Governor freezing up during a televised debate.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp=38988775�
When we are under stress the lymbic brain can make us go into stress triggers Freeze Flight Fight response.
What can you do if you freeze up and can;t think of what to say or forget your line or forget what you are going to say during a speech or interview?

One- Have a room temperature glass or bottle of water and quickly pick it up and take a sip, perhaps putting your hand up to single wait a moment. The action helps your brain switch off the "freeze" response.

Two-Immediately go to a line that you can practice in advance, "This is so important I want to refer to my notes." The Governor went to her notes, which is fine, but she could have done that smoothly and more quickly if she had practiced that line.

Three-Repeat what you just said, perhaps even using the bridge phrase, Let me repeat that, and or saying it more loudly forcefully or slowly. Sometimes, you freeze because what you just said is your final thought or feeling on the topic and you really don't have anything else to say. It can be enough and the repetition makes it sound confident and gives the message closure.

Four-Say what is true about what you just said, for example, "This is important.", "That's what I feel." "We should remember this." It strong and it as tip three makes what you just said a final thought.

Five-
"When I talk about this I feel so strongly about it that my emotions come out." or refer to your emotions in the moment with, "I feel so strongly about this, that for a moment.

Six-Smile and or laugh or joke and be in the moment and say whatever fits your personality and the group and topic for example, "I forgot what I was going to say." "Goodness, I just had a goldfish memory moment." "My mama told me there would be moments like this.", "Just talk amonst yourselves why I look for my memory!"

One of my friends sent me the following funny communication humor to me. I laughed out loud as I read it. You may be able to quote this funny joke material in your speech, meeting or training program.

Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way,UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. So you CAN have a sense of humor and still be great at your task!


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics..
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-- Ben Williams

Here are free funny lines from my friend Jeff Justices website.
Jeff Teaches an awesome stand up comedy class

14 Ways To Know If You've Been in Corporate America Too Long

1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.

2. You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organization."

3. You refer to dating as test marketing.

4. You can spell "paradigm."

5. You actually know what a paradigm is.

6. You understand your airline's fare structure.

7. You write executive summaries on your love letters.

8. Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points.

9. You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten-page presentation with six
other people you don't know.

10. You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review.

11. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and
"improvement opportunities."

12. You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as
"highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt."

13. You end every argument by saying "let's talk about this off-line."

14. You give constructive feedback to your dog.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks


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Tom Rachman on The Imperfectionists


I grew up in peaceful Vancouver with two psychologists for parents, a sister with whom I squabbled in the obligatory ways, and an adorably dim-witted spaniel whose leg waggled when I tickled his belly. Not the stuff of literature, it seemed to me.

During university, I had developed a passion for reading: essays by George Orwell, short stories by Isaac Bashevis Singer, novels by Tolstoy. By graduation, books had shoved aside all other contenders. A writer--perhaps I could become one of those.

There was a slight problem: my life to date.

By 22, I hadn't engaged in a bullfight. I'd not kept a mistress or been kept by one. I'd never been stabbed in a street brawl. I'd not been mistreated by my parents, or addicted to anything sordid. I'd never fought a duel to the death with anyone.

It was time to remedy this. Or parts of it, anyway. I would see the world, read, write, and pay my bills in the process. My plan was to join the press corps, to become a foreign correspondent, to emerge on the other side with handsome scars, mussed hair, and a novel.

Years passed. I worked as an editor at the Associated Press in New York, venturing briefly to South Asia to report on war (from a very safe distance; I was never brave). Next, I was dispatched to Rome, where I wrote about the Italian government, the Mafia, the Vatican, and other reliable sources of scandal.

Suddenly--too soon for my liking--I was turning thirty. My research, I realized, had become alarmingly similar to a career. To imagine a future in journalism, a trade that I had never loved, terrified me.

So, with a fluttery stomach, I handed in my resignation, exchanging a promising job for an improbable hope. I took my life savings and moved to Paris, where I knew not a soul and whose language I spoke only haltingly. Solitude was what I sought: a cozy apartment, a cup of tea, my laptop. I switched it on. One year later, I had a novel.

And it was terrible.

My plan – all those years in journalism--had been a blunder, it seemed. The writing I had aspired to do was beyond me. I lacked talent. And I was broke.

Dejected, I nursed myself with a little white wine, goat cheese and baguette, then took the subway to the International Herald Tribune on the outskirts of Paris to apply for a job. Weeks later, I was seated at the copy desk, composing headlines and photo captions, aching over my failure. I had bungled my twenties. I was abroad, lonely, stuck.

But after many dark months, I found myself imagining again. I strolled through Parisian streets, and characters strolled through my mind, sat themselves down, folded their arms before me, declaring, "So, do you have a story for me?"

I switched on my computer and tried once more.

This time, it was different. My previous attempt hadn't produced a book, but it had honed my technique. And I stopped fretting about whether I possessed the skill to become a writer, and focused instead on the hard work of writing. Before, I had winced at every flawed passage. Now, I toiled with my head down, rarely peeking at the words flowing across the screen.

I revised, I refined, I tweaked, I polished. Not until exhaustion--not until the novel that I had aspired to write was very nearly the one I had produced--did I allow myself to assess it.

To my amazement, a book emerged. I remain nearly incredulous that my plan, hatched over a decade ago, came together. At times, I walk to the bookshelf at my home in Italy, take down a copy of The Imperfectionists, double-check the name on the spine: Tom Rachman. Yes, I think that's me.

In the end, my travels included neither bullfights nor duels. And the book doesn't, either. Instead, it contains views over Paris, cocktails in Rome, street markets in Cairo; the ruckus of an old-style newsroom and the shuddering rise of technology; a foreign correspondent faking a news story, a media executive falling for the man she just fired. And did I mention a rather adorable if slobbery dog?

From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. In his zinger of a debut, Rachman deftly applies his experience as foreign correspondent and editor to chart the goings-on at a scrappy English-language newspaper in Rome. Chapters read like exquisite short stories, turning out the intersecting lives of the men and women who produce the paper—and one woman who reads it religiously, if belatedly. In the opening chapter, aging, dissolute Paris correspondent Lloyd Burko pressures his estranged son to leak information from the French Foreign Ministry, and in the process unearths startling family fare that won't sell a single edition. Obit writer Arthur Gopal, whose overarching goal at the paper is indolence, encounters personal tragedy and, with it, unexpected career ambition. Late in the book, as the paper buckles, recently laid-off copyeditor Dave Belling seduces the CFO who fired him. Throughout, the founding publisher's progeny stagger under a heritage they don't understand. As the ragtag staff faces down the implications of the paper's tilt into oblivion, there are more than enough sublime moments, unexpected turns and sheer inky wretchedness to warrant putting this on the shelf next to other great newspaper novels. (Apr.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
See all Editorial Reviews

What's your advice for getting calm and relaxed before public speaking or an important meeting? One night when I was in Grad School I was nervously going over material for my first presentation on to my body language professor, He was the expert in my chosen field and I kept imagining myself messing up forgetting what I wanted to say and not being able to answer any of the professors question. My boy friend Michael came in my office. He realized I was a nervous wreck, He said, “Patti, you know in college I was sold books door to door in the summer and I was the top sales men for the company. When I started I imagined I was going to fail, I rehearsed my failure, that I wouldn’t know what to say or not be able to answer questions. But I learned from my boss to visualize my success. Michael sat me down and had me visualize my presentation. I rehearsed my successful speech from the start to finish, what I would do nonverbally how I would stand how brilliant I would sound, how the audience would smile and nod their heads, How brilliant I would be, how the professor would praise me and the audience would give round of applause. From that day on I have visualized my success the night before every single speech or TV interview. It makes an enormous difference in my confidence level. When I am traveling and giving a speech I like to see the banquet room the night before so I can see myself and the audience in the actual room, when I am going on TV I watch the show or ask the producer about the set were I will be sitting.

How do you deal with remote media interviews?
Another body language difficulty comes when you’re interviewed remotely and you are talking to a camera and forced to interact with it as if it was a person. That took me awhile to get used to and the bright lights in your eyes in those remote shoots will tend to make you blink. Prepare for those interviews as well so you can stay looking at the camera and smiling and nodding your head and leaning forward to it in response to the interviewer. Again just as if it was a person. Story about Wrigley gum, Story about Pup-peroni.

To help you be aware of your body language and insure you are in sync in a media interview?
Practice answering the questions out loud. Don’t just read them off your computer silently. Use you’re the video device on your computer or phone to record your answers so you see and hear your responses and can self monitor. In my experience most journalist and producers have very short deadlines, sometimes only 4 or 5 minute deadlines before they have to move on the cover the next story so you need to practice answering questions quickly for TV and Radio you need to practice giving not only quick clear responses but also one sentence rather than a paragraph response. That is the part that I find is difficult for my media coaching clients. They want to explain their answers or add on to them and in a live broadcast there is not time for that. So if you haven’t practiced giving short answers you can get flustered as most hosts want to keep the pace of the show going and will interrupt you or jump in with a pithy comment if your don’t give them a high energy quick response. So Practice responding to questions with one sentence and watch your mouth and eyes on the tape to make sure your expression and tone match the word message. Someone experts look to the host to for feedback that they have done a good job or make a face if they feel they didn’t give a great answer or if they are interrupted. You need to make sure your face stays still or shows interest in the conversation when you finish speaking. I can’t tell you how many times I see guests face scrunch up after they finish talking.

How do you deal with stressful media interviews?
When I am working with my media coaching clients I help them prepare. You need to prepare answers for all the questions you can possibly be asked,
Make sure you also brainstorm all the questions you hope they won’t ask and prepare a response for those tough questions as well.

What kind of body language exudes confidence and approachability in an interview or meeting? Prepare. Find out if you are going to standing or sitting and if you’re sitting if you will be on a stool, chair or sofa. Ideally you want your body to be relaxed and open. You want to show your confidence by taking up space leaning backwards and forwards as the interview or meeting goes on rather than freezing or planting in one fixed pose.

When you survive, when you have suffered mightily, when you are still moving, walking living... everything you do have is pure gravey.

The seventheenth century English teologian Jeremy Taylor is quoted in Love and Death,
'I am fallen into the hands of publicans and sequestrators, and they have taken all from me. what now:Le me look aobut me. They have left me the sun, moon, fire and water, a loving wife, and many freinds to pity me and some to relieve me."

More from the book,



"Everyone suffers, but not everyone despairs."

Another quote that shows you what you can do when loved ones and freinds are dealing with loss, grief and death, >we know what we've lost. But other people can't face it. They can't talk about it. They're frightened." "They are frightened of us too." "as if we had some kind of disease that they might catch if they got too close."

When my father died two weeks before what was supposed to be my last semester of college I had friends that stopped talking to me, stopped calling, friends who would even walk to the other side of the street when they saw me walking towards them on campus, just to avoid me. They didn't know how to be with someone grieving, so they avoiding being with me. It was terribly painful. It was a hard earned lesson that just being with someone is grieving is a greatest gift you can give them. Just being in the pain with them. Not running, hiding or placating just being.

A few weeks ago the mother of my friend Jim passed away. I have been searching for a book to give him. Something about grieving and loss and hope. Last night a friend read me a passage from a wonderful book on grief called Love & Death by Forrest Church.
Here is a quote
"My heart has broken again.. and for that I am overwhelmingly thankful; without love this would not be possible."

Ever notice how what people say about others tells you a lot about them? Happy people talk about their wonderful friend's, how great everyone at work is and how nice the cashier at the bank was today. Angry and sad people talk about how their boss sucks and the co-worker is an idiot and the waiter incompetent. Just think of the telling interview question, "How did you get along with your last boss?" You know the interviewer is seeking information about your boss not about you. says more about you than it may about them. Here is research that shows what you already know.

Science News
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What You Say About Others Says a Lot About You, Research Shows
ScienceDaily (Aug. 2, 2010) — How positively you see others is linked to how happy, kind-hearted and emotionally stable you are, according to new research by a Wake Forest University psychology professor.
________________________________________
"Your perceptions of others reveal so much about your own personality," says Dustin Wood, assistant professor of psychology at Wake Forest and lead author of the study, about his findings. By asking study participants to each rate positive and negative characteristics of just three people, the researchers were able to find out important information about the rater's well-being, mental health, social attitudes and how they were judged by others.
The study appears in the July issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Peter Harms at the University of Nebraska and Simine Vazire of Washington University in St. Louis co-authored the study.
The researchers found a person's tendency to describe others in positive terms is an important indicator of the positivity of the person's own personality traits. They discovered particularly strong associations between positively judging others and how enthusiastic, happy, kind-hearted, courteous, emotionally stable and capable the person describes oneself and is described by others.
"Seeing others positively reveals our own positive traits," Wood says.
The study also found that how positively you see other people shows how satisfied you are with your own life, and how much you are liked by others.
In contrast, negative perceptions of others are linked to higher levels of narcissism and antisocial behavior. "A huge suite of negative personality traits are associated with viewing others negatively," Wood says. "The simple tendency to see people negatively indicates a greater likelihood of depression and various personality disorders." Given that negative perceptions of others may underlie several personality disorders, finding techniques to get people to see others more positively could promote the cessation of behavior patterns associated with several different personality disorders simultaneously, Wood says.
This research suggests that when you ask someone to rate the personality of a particular coworker or acquaintance, you may learn as much about the rater providing the personality description as the person they are describing. The level of negativity the rater uses in describing the other person may indeed indicate that the other person has negative characteristics, but may also be a tip off that the rater is unhappy, disagreeable, neurotic -- or has other negative personality traits.
Raters in the study consisted of friends rating one another, college freshmen rating others they knew in their dormitories, and fraternity and sorority members rating others in their organization. In all samples, participants rated real people and the positivity of their ratings were found to be associated with the participant's own characteristics.
By evaluating the raters and how they evaluated their peers again one year later, Wood found compelling evidence that how positively we tend to perceive others in our social environment is a highly stable trait that does not change substantially over time.
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Technology Tips
Teleprompter tool — Ian Griffin
Here’s a useful tool you can use if you plan to record a video using a Flip camera or need some way to practice a speech. This Web-based teleprompter application is no-charge. It’s so browser compatible, you can even use it on your iPhone. Once the script is entered it can be displayed on a screen, played at a slow or faster rate, etc. Features include:
• Elapsed time display
• Works in Firefox, Internet Explorer, Safari, Chrome
• Supports keyboard and mouse controls (start/pause, ff/rew, etc.) so you can control the prompter remotely
• Can run full-screen
• Control pad can be undocked for 2-screen operation — this way there is nothing but the text on the second monitor
________________________________________

The importance of a good speaker introduction and how you can control the search results for someone entering your name into Google.
I had a very embarrassing moment yesterday.
Recently I prepared to speak to a group of CEO’s (all men) on body language and deception detection.
I sent my formal speaker introduction out to the client.
The day before the presentation I did the last check in with the client. including making sure he had my most recent speaker intro ready. The introduction included a mention of TV appearance I was going to be doing next week where I would be analyzing the body language of the defendant in a murder trial.
My cleint shared that a member of the group who is also a professional speaker had asked to introduce me. I asked him to make sure that the introduction I sent was used and if the speaker had any questions or wanted to make changes I was happy to talk to him before the program.
I introduced myself to the speaker/introducer and he shared that I had an impressive introduction. However, when he went to introduce me he didn’t use it! Instead he got up and said he was upset the meeting notice had a bio of me that had stolen his material and flipped on what he said was a Google search of my name with, “Flirting” in bold print at the top of the screen. He then and made a joke about what I was was obviously an expert in flirting and body language. After the program I checed my google listing. That article listing was ten pages down with many hard news publications and TV shows listed in the pages before it. Then he laughed and said he had another one of my specialites and preceded to show a video of me. Not a video of any of my hard news interviews, but instead and interview I had done as the national spokesperson for Pup-peroni, being asked about dog body language! Finally he said,
"She has been in lot of publications." "Here is Patti."
As you can imagine my credibility with the group was shot. It took some hard work in the first few minutes to get the groups respect. The group was great. The gentlemen where intelligent and energetic and excited to gain insights into body language. I have been not only asked back, but asked to join their organization so. I am happy. But it brought home to me yet again the importance of a good introduction and making sure you do everything in your power to be presented well to the group. Google searches of your name can bring up some crazy stuff. Not only your work, but that of any one with a similar name so make sure you prepare for each important presentation by searching your name and if your speaking about a particular product or as a representative of a particular company the company and perhaps use the following google button to control your name search.

Speaker Henry Maxwell shared recently in SpeakerNetnews a way totarget Google searchesof your name. It is a cool tool to stand out in Google & elsewhere.
Have you been frustrated by Google results on your name? Do your potential clients have to wade through pages or refine their search to find you? ABC News recently ran a short segment about a possible solution where you can set up your dedicated profile page with your tailored search and a “search me” button. Then add it to your LinkedIn profile, Face book page, or online resume.