Ophra has her favorite things list and I have my top ten, this year top 15 list of my favorite things for 2010. I just love the products. The products are fun, and some would make great little inexpensive stocking stuffers. The criteria for the list is that I had to discover the product in 2010 and recommend it to a friend or family member who agreed it was wonderful. Check out the blog for past years lists. I don’t get kickbacks from the companies. I would love to help you find the perfect gift or stocking stuffer for your family or friends. There are some great gift ideas for your business clients as well.

1. The Iphone 4 Google APP - I discovered this App at a party. We were having a hot and heavy discussion about world hunger that somehow morphed into a debate on the actor Timothy Hutton’s real age. A friend pulled out his Iphone and hit a big blue G icon. It is the amazingly quick and accurate Voice Recognition Google App for the Google search engine. My friend said into the phone the phrase, “Timothy Hutton’s age.” and the websites with Hutton’s age came up immediately. I went and got a cell phone and ordered the App the next week. I use the App every day. It solves that memory burp, tip of the tongue, or I am right and you’re wrong discussion problem. It also helps you find the best coffee shop, book store or Sushi bar nearest to you when you’re traveling.
2. The Week - The weekly news magazine and online news source. This magazine makes me feel brilliant, insightful and informed. Well, at least I feel that way the first few hours after I read it! For years I read this magazine whenever I was over at my friend Judith’s house. Last year she gave me a subscription for Christmas. I love it. It is designed like the original version of Time magazine. It takes the weeks hot news topics and quotes several publication’s views and facts all in one article. So say you are reading an article on North Korea. They will quote The New York Times, The Republic, The Washington Post and the Huntington Post within the piece. You have several viewpoints. It is so illuminating. You start reading a piece and you form an opinion then by the time you’re finished reading all the quotes you often have a broader and less biased perspective on the issue. They also have a weekly recipe and Top TV show and or movie recommendations to watch. I had a fun moment this year when my favorite magazine quoted me! What a kick. My other favorite is Bloomberg BusinessWeek. I love the new incarnation of BuisnessWeek. It is smart and sassy. Though I will admit I am biased as they started quoting me for their fun articles on body language. Check out the articles online they range from Elevator body language, to body language at Starbucks and the waiting area at Airports.
3. Pinks Greatest Hits album - Actually, just one song. It is the best rock out, car dancing, hand in the air, singing at the top of your lungs song. It is called, “Raise Your Glass.” I haven’t loved a song and played a song over and over like this in years. I heard it once and had to go to three stores to find it. The song is the beat of my drives and the song that rocks my house cleaning. Again. I have not had a song singing in my head like this for years. In fact, the last song that made me rock out like this was Sheryl Crowe’s, “Winding Road.” Here is the only caveat. It has profanity in it. I wish I could change a few lyrics, but the beat is awesome. Ben, who is the parking attendant at my Thursday night Meeting of the Minds restaurant, laughed when he saw me pull in with the windows down and singing this song at the top of my lungs. He has known me for years. He said he didn’t figure me for a Pink fan. I didn’t either, but I am hooked on that song. Her rendition on the album of the 80’s tune, “I’m Coming Out” Is groovy too. I got the album at Borders. Do know that when I did a body language piece for Billboard this year that I said my favorite album was the soundtrack from the Jeff Bridges movie CRAZY HEART now I am rocking to a different beat!
4. Eddy’s Peppermint Ice Cream - Only out in stores in December this ice cream is smooth and creamy with little crunches of peppermint sticks. The perfect holiday dessert when you are too tired from shopping and decorating and wrapping presents to want to do more than open the carton and dish out the yum. You need to have company in the house when you serve it, or you may be tempted to eat the whole carton. It is low in calories!
5. SmartWool Socks - They are soft and warm and they don’t shrink or itch. I have a long description of these magic socks at the end of this list. Let me just say, that for the first time I can remember my feet are comfy and truly warm on my daily walks. I had no idea that great, environmentally friendly socks could make such a difference. And they come in snazzy prints and colors. They cost the moon, but it is so worth it. I buy them in a three pack at my discount shoe store.
6. Kate and Cassie Pinot Grigio - Most of my friends and family who drink wine like a Pinot Grigio. I love the crisp pear taste in this wine and you can get it when you’re buying the cereal I mention below as they sell this fresh summer wine at Target.
7. Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day Counter Top Spray in Lavender - I love this stuff. It smells so fresh and clean. I use it every day and spray down the counters just before company comes over so the house smells good.
8. Target Archer Farms Chocolate Hazelnut Biscotti Granola Cereal - It is delicious. Basically it is cookies and milk for breakfast. Though I have it for a meal. In fact, it is one of my favorite late night dinners when I come home from a long trip. You buy it the food section at Target.
9. Essen Hand Soap in the Big Brown Pump Bottle - I love all the scents. In the kitchen I use the Citrus Ginger scented soap and in the bathrooms I have mint.
10. Now Solutions Grape Seed Oil - My friend Pat had been using Olive Oil on her face for a year and her skin was clear and moist and she looked incredible so I started using it. Then she told me that the grape seed oil was even better as it didn't have any odor. There are no chemicals or preservatives, just the oil. You can find it in any health food store. I put a few drops on my face and hands at night and a few drops on my face over my suntan lotion before my daily walk.
11. I have had problems with frizzy dry hair for years. Then I discovered Peter Coppola Fascino Olive Oil Shampoo and Conditioner. It leaves my hair so silky. It is hard to find in stores, but you can get in online.
12. Asqith & Somerset Grapefruit Sugarcane Exfoliating Sugar Scrub - I am not a fan of flowery bath stuff. I love a clean citrus scent. This leaves your skin soft. You do have to scrub the tub down after you use it as it has oil in the mixture that makes the tub slick.
13. Eucerin Dry Skin Therapy Calming Cream - I keep this in my purse in the winter. You can get it at Target or CVS.
14. Aquarphor Healing Ointment - It comes in a little tiny white tube. I put it on my lips to keep them plump and moist, though that is not listed as a use for the product. You can get this
at Target or CVS.
15. Keratin Complex - It is an expensive, wonderful smelling hair cuticle smoothing luxury for your hair. You put it on after you partially dry your hair. I wish it came in a travel size. You can find it at Ultra Cosmetics. But you may want to wait till they have a coupon discount for the store as it is pricey.


SmartWood Socks
· If you have done any research at all on outdoor clothing, especially under garments and socks, there is no doubt you are familiar with, or have at least heard of the name brand, Smart Wool. If not, it’s time for you to get in the loop and on the band wagon!
· SmartWool is not only a clever name – though it is that as it perfectly and succinctly describes the product itself – but it is a brilliant product itself. It does a marvelous job of blending the best of what nature has to offer with technology and humanity to produce the absolute finest material you could ever hope to wear against your skin whether your outdoor endeavors are modest, extreme, blazing hot, icy cold or anywhere in between any of those points. It works incredibly well in all conditions consistently delivering top performance in a single, versatile product. And on top of all that performance… SmartWool clothing is unbelievably comfortable to wear! Nothing whatsoever like the itchy, smelly wool you may remember from years gone by.
· SmartWool gets their base supply of top quality merino wool from wool growers in New Zealand. Not only are these wool growers (sheep herders? not sure what to call them) among the best in the world, but they abide by strict ethical, humanitarian standards in the manner in which they raise and manage their sheep. Not only that, but they adhere to a system that allows for tracking back of all materials to ensure that all products really do come from where they claim.
· On top of the high praise just outlined, SmartWool also utilizes a unique manufacturing process that removes all the negative aspects that might be associated with wool, such as itchy-ness or the tendency to shrink. With all the effort they put into their product, knowing all the effort you will be putting forth when you wear them, you will be pleased to find yourself as happy and comfortable in your SmartWool gear at the end of your day as you are slipping into it at the very start. But all this cozy comfort is only the beginning of the wondrous aspects of this material.
· The true miracle that is SmartWool lies in the performance of their garments.
· The first thing to know about it is that it is a natural fiber; the merino wool that acts as a protective coat for the sheep who spend their lives between cold mountain highlands and warm southern summers in New Zealand. Their wool coats naturally keep them comfortably warm in the cold winter and comfortably cool in the warm summer months. By using the wool for clothing, people can experience the same wonderful insulating properties these sheep have developed over thousands of years.
· The reason that this merino wool works so wonderfully well as insulation is because each fiber is made up of thousands of incredibly small pockets of air which act just like the insulation you have in the walls of your house. They act as a blanket or buffer zone between the hot or cold outside and the ideal temperature you want inside.
· Just like your home helps keep you cool in the summer time and warm in the winter, these fibers will naturally regulate your body temperature, keeping you cool when it’s hot out and warm when it’s cool (or cold) out. They also just happen to be able to wick moisture away from your body faster than any other material you could find on earth. This means your skin stays comfortably dry longer, which is critical in cold weather. Having moist skin in freezing temperatures is a recipe for disaster. Also, unlike other man made materials designed for wicking moisture, SmartWool is able to transfer moisture (perspiration) while it’s still in a vapor state rather than needing to wait for it to convert into actual drops of liquid. What this does for you in hot weather is act like a kind of small air conditioner right next to your skin, radiating your body heat out and away from your body and keeping you more comfortably cool. So if you think “wool” is only for winter, think again about “Smart Wool“! For many serious outdoorsmen and women, it is #1 choice when it comes to thermal socks.

At meeting of the minds last week I asked each member of the group to share their opinion on a story in the news about a husband who shot his wife of 75 years. His daughter called it a mercy killing as his wife had Alzheimer's, couldn't sit up talk, feed or take care of herself or recognize anyone. The story brought up a talk on Euthanasia, a topic we have discussed frequently. It reminded me of a promise I made my best friend many years ago when he was dying.

Keeping promises. Based on the above, what do you have to offer? Give me a
brief pitch below.

Answer: I met my best friend Roy at summer orientation before our freshman year of college. I looked across the room saw this big six four Nordic blond as he turned and smiled at me and said, "There is my life's best friend." We were so close, our friends thought we were twins. The relationship was so strong, but completely platonic. When I was in my Doctoral program and Roy was working as a social worker, Roy Invited me to Visit. and as we walked around the Park told me he had AIDS.

Less than a year later, as he got sicker we each made a promise. He wanted to die easily and perhaps even commit suicide if it got really bad. He promised me he would tell me before he did it so we could say goodbye. He didn't want me to help him, but I said I would if he needed me. I promised that I would not tell his family that he was sick and that when he was ready to go that I would not let the doctors use extreme measures to save him.

As he got sicker, one of his illnesses made swallowing horribly painful. His weight when down to 75 pounds and his hair fell out, his cheeks caved in, his skin so thin and blueish, hung on his bones, he looked like an elderly man at Auswitch, and he was ready to be set free from his prison. I, at five feet one, could now carry him. He had a shunt to his heart for the IV hooked up to him 24/7. We teased that the food drip was easier than the Wendy's drive through and named the drip a burger and frosty with fries. He wanted to unplug the IVs when it got really bad. He talked me through his plan. I knew that he had chosen not to live with me, because he didn't want to be a burden and didn't want me to find him near death and call the ambulance. Instead, when he wasn't in one of his many long stays at the hospital he was living in a Aid Atlanta subsidized apartment.
I had turned down speaking engagements out of town, because I had been afraid leave him and perhaps loose him, while I was gone. As he got sicker and sicker But this conversation and promise made me realize he was ready to let go. When I did accept a week long training class out of town he pulled out his IVs. His family, who didn't even know he was sick, came to Atlanta and surrounded him at the hospital. I told them his wish so they would not go overboard with reviving him. He came out of the coma and said goodbye. I kept my promise.


Question 2: What is your experience with this topic?

Answer: I am a body language and relationship and an author of several books on communication www.Pattiwood.net


Question 3: Did making this promise change your life in a positive way?
What about the lives of others?

Answer: It was extreemly hard. It made me strong at a very young age. (We were both in our 20's. I realized the value of life.


Question 4: Do you feel the promise was helpful in motivating you to
keep your word and reach this goal?

Answer: I would have done anything to help him. He was in so much pain. But saying to his doctor and his famiy the promise I made gave them strength.


Question 5: Did making this promise help you overcome excuses for not
following through or periods of doubt and indecision?
Generally describe why you think the promise was helpful to
you in reaching this goal.

Answer: Because he requested the promise with the aboslute certaintly I would keep it. He knew I kept my promises. My commitment was already there. I made me realize that he belived in my strenght to keep the promise for him.

Question 6: Would you have achieved this goal or done this particular
thing if you had NOT made this promise?

Answer: I think I could, but I am not sure the Doctor and the family would have wanted to. Even though I had been with him for his last year.


Last Question: Anything else you`d like to add?

Answer: It is a hard promise. Now people have living wills. I would
recommend they put it in writing. If I hadn't had such an
amazing freindship it would have been even more difficult.

Get Anyone to Return Your Phone Call.

"I appreciate what you done." "Please give me a call and I will fill you in."

"I am so excited, give me a call and we will talk about it ."

"You were right, when you call me we will go over it."

"I know your going to love it when you call we can talk about it."

Leave a message that in some way shows your apperception, but isn’t clear as to what it is about. Curious people will try to reach you to clarity what the message is about. You need to make sure you are in integrity when leaving these messages. You need to really know the person. Your appreciation must be honest. Finally, your future conversation shouldn't be an unexpected hard sell.

In my book, "Power Up Your Power Point Presentations", I share the importance of making the first thing you say, do or show your audience be unique. The primitive brain looks for the what is different from the norm. So the first slide needs to be different from what the audience expects. And because of the way the eye focuses on a flat object such as a power point slide, you need to make sure your slides are not all the same, and yet all your slides only contain the most important information. Here is a recent research study on eye tracking that discusses how the eyes track information that supports the "Make it novel and unique" trick.

"Records of eye movements show that the observer's attention is usually held only by certain elements of the picture.... Eye movement reflects the human thought processes; so the observer's thought may be followed to some extent from records of eye movement (the thought accompanying the examination of the particular object). It is easy to determine from these records which elements attract the observer's eye (and, consequently, his thought), in what order, and how often." [8]
"The observer's attention is frequently drawn to elements which do not give important information but which, in his opinion, may do so. Often an observer will focus his attention on elements that are unusual in the particular circumstances, unfamiliar, incomprehensible, and so on." [9]
"... when changing its points of fixation, the observer's eye repeatedly returns to the same elements of the picture. Additional time spent on perception is not used to examine the secondary elements, but to reexamine the most important elements." [10]

Quick tricks to use if you freeze up in a speech or interview. Six great ways to combat speaking anxiety.

First here is the video of the Arizona Governor freezing up during a televised debate.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp=38988775�
When we are under stress the lymbic brain can make us go into stress triggers Freeze Flight Fight response.
What can you do if you freeze up and can;t think of what to say or forget your line or forget what you are going to say during a speech or interview?

One- Have a room temperature glass or bottle of water and quickly pick it up and take a sip, perhaps putting your hand up to single wait a moment. The action helps your brain switch off the "freeze" response.

Two-Immediately go to a line that you can practice in advance, "This is so important I want to refer to my notes." The Governor went to her notes, which is fine, but she could have done that smoothly and more quickly if she had practiced that line.

Three-Repeat what you just said, perhaps even using the bridge phrase, Let me repeat that, and or saying it more loudly forcefully or slowly. Sometimes, you freeze because what you just said is your final thought or feeling on the topic and you really don't have anything else to say. It can be enough and the repetition makes it sound confident and gives the message closure.

Four-Say what is true about what you just said, for example, "This is important.", "That's what I feel." "We should remember this." It strong and it as tip three makes what you just said a final thought.

Five-
"When I talk about this I feel so strongly about it that my emotions come out." or refer to your emotions in the moment with, "I feel so strongly about this, that for a moment.

Six-Smile and or laugh or joke and be in the moment and say whatever fits your personality and the group and topic for example, "I forgot what I was going to say." "Goodness, I just had a goldfish memory moment." "My mama told me there would be moments like this.", "Just talk amonst yourselves why I look for my memory!"

One of my friends sent me the following funny communication humor to me. I laughed out loud as I read it. You may be able to quote this funny joke material in your speech, meeting or training program.

Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way,UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. So you CAN have a sense of humor and still be great at your task!


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics..
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-- Ben Williams

Here are free funny lines from my friend Jeff Justices website.
Jeff Teaches an awesome stand up comedy class

14 Ways To Know If You've Been in Corporate America Too Long

1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.

2. You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organization."

3. You refer to dating as test marketing.

4. You can spell "paradigm."

5. You actually know what a paradigm is.

6. You understand your airline's fare structure.

7. You write executive summaries on your love letters.

8. Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points.

9. You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten-page presentation with six
other people you don't know.

10. You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review.

11. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and
"improvement opportunities."

12. You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as
"highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt."

13. You end every argument by saying "let's talk about this off-line."

14. You give constructive feedback to your dog.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks


Matterhorn


The Big Short


The Imperfectionists









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See all of the top 10


















Fiction

































Ship Breaker


The Hand That First Held Mine


Where the God of Love Hangs Out


Rock Paper Tiger









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Nonfiction

































The Possessed


Operation Mincemeat


Medium Raw


WAR









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Kids and Teens

































The Dark Days of Hamburger Halpin


Cosmic


Will Grayson, Will Grayson


The Quiet Book









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More to Explore

































Best of 2010... So Far in Movies & TV


Best of 2010... So Far in Music


Best Books of August


Summer Reading

This looks like a good book
book recommendations


Tom Rachman on The Imperfectionists


I grew up in peaceful Vancouver with two psychologists for parents, a sister with whom I squabbled in the obligatory ways, and an adorably dim-witted spaniel whose leg waggled when I tickled his belly. Not the stuff of literature, it seemed to me.

During university, I had developed a passion for reading: essays by George Orwell, short stories by Isaac Bashevis Singer, novels by Tolstoy. By graduation, books had shoved aside all other contenders. A writer--perhaps I could become one of those.

There was a slight problem: my life to date.

By 22, I hadn't engaged in a bullfight. I'd not kept a mistress or been kept by one. I'd never been stabbed in a street brawl. I'd not been mistreated by my parents, or addicted to anything sordid. I'd never fought a duel to the death with anyone.

It was time to remedy this. Or parts of it, anyway. I would see the world, read, write, and pay my bills in the process. My plan was to join the press corps, to become a foreign correspondent, to emerge on the other side with handsome scars, mussed hair, and a novel.

Years passed. I worked as an editor at the Associated Press in New York, venturing briefly to South Asia to report on war (from a very safe distance; I was never brave). Next, I was dispatched to Rome, where I wrote about the Italian government, the Mafia, the Vatican, and other reliable sources of scandal.

Suddenly--too soon for my liking--I was turning thirty. My research, I realized, had become alarmingly similar to a career. To imagine a future in journalism, a trade that I had never loved, terrified me.

So, with a fluttery stomach, I handed in my resignation, exchanging a promising job for an improbable hope. I took my life savings and moved to Paris, where I knew not a soul and whose language I spoke only haltingly. Solitude was what I sought: a cozy apartment, a cup of tea, my laptop. I switched it on. One year later, I had a novel.

And it was terrible.

My plan – all those years in journalism--had been a blunder, it seemed. The writing I had aspired to do was beyond me. I lacked talent. And I was broke.

Dejected, I nursed myself with a little white wine, goat cheese and baguette, then took the subway to the International Herald Tribune on the outskirts of Paris to apply for a job. Weeks later, I was seated at the copy desk, composing headlines and photo captions, aching over my failure. I had bungled my twenties. I was abroad, lonely, stuck.

But after many dark months, I found myself imagining again. I strolled through Parisian streets, and characters strolled through my mind, sat themselves down, folded their arms before me, declaring, "So, do you have a story for me?"

I switched on my computer and tried once more.

This time, it was different. My previous attempt hadn't produced a book, but it had honed my technique. And I stopped fretting about whether I possessed the skill to become a writer, and focused instead on the hard work of writing. Before, I had winced at every flawed passage. Now, I toiled with my head down, rarely peeking at the words flowing across the screen.

I revised, I refined, I tweaked, I polished. Not until exhaustion--not until the novel that I had aspired to write was very nearly the one I had produced--did I allow myself to assess it.

To my amazement, a book emerged. I remain nearly incredulous that my plan, hatched over a decade ago, came together. At times, I walk to the bookshelf at my home in Italy, take down a copy of The Imperfectionists, double-check the name on the spine: Tom Rachman. Yes, I think that's me.

In the end, my travels included neither bullfights nor duels. And the book doesn't, either. Instead, it contains views over Paris, cocktails in Rome, street markets in Cairo; the ruckus of an old-style newsroom and the shuddering rise of technology; a foreign correspondent faking a news story, a media executive falling for the man she just fired. And did I mention a rather adorable if slobbery dog?

From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. In his zinger of a debut, Rachman deftly applies his experience as foreign correspondent and editor to chart the goings-on at a scrappy English-language newspaper in Rome. Chapters read like exquisite short stories, turning out the intersecting lives of the men and women who produce the paper—and one woman who reads it religiously, if belatedly. In the opening chapter, aging, dissolute Paris correspondent Lloyd Burko pressures his estranged son to leak information from the French Foreign Ministry, and in the process unearths startling family fare that won't sell a single edition. Obit writer Arthur Gopal, whose overarching goal at the paper is indolence, encounters personal tragedy and, with it, unexpected career ambition. Late in the book, as the paper buckles, recently laid-off copyeditor Dave Belling seduces the CFO who fired him. Throughout, the founding publisher's progeny stagger under a heritage they don't understand. As the ragtag staff faces down the implications of the paper's tilt into oblivion, there are more than enough sublime moments, unexpected turns and sheer inky wretchedness to warrant putting this on the shelf next to other great newspaper novels. (Apr.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
See all Editorial Reviews

What's your advice for getting calm and relaxed before public speaking or an important meeting? One night when I was in Grad School I was nervously going over material for my first presentation on to my body language professor, He was the expert in my chosen field and I kept imagining myself messing up forgetting what I wanted to say and not being able to answer any of the professors question. My boy friend Michael came in my office. He realized I was a nervous wreck, He said, “Patti, you know in college I was sold books door to door in the summer and I was the top sales men for the company. When I started I imagined I was going to fail, I rehearsed my failure, that I wouldn’t know what to say or not be able to answer questions. But I learned from my boss to visualize my success. Michael sat me down and had me visualize my presentation. I rehearsed my successful speech from the start to finish, what I would do nonverbally how I would stand how brilliant I would sound, how the audience would smile and nod their heads, How brilliant I would be, how the professor would praise me and the audience would give round of applause. From that day on I have visualized my success the night before every single speech or TV interview. It makes an enormous difference in my confidence level. When I am traveling and giving a speech I like to see the banquet room the night before so I can see myself and the audience in the actual room, when I am going on TV I watch the show or ask the producer about the set were I will be sitting.

How do you deal with remote media interviews?
Another body language difficulty comes when you’re interviewed remotely and you are talking to a camera and forced to interact with it as if it was a person. That took me awhile to get used to and the bright lights in your eyes in those remote shoots will tend to make you blink. Prepare for those interviews as well so you can stay looking at the camera and smiling and nodding your head and leaning forward to it in response to the interviewer. Again just as if it was a person. Story about Wrigley gum, Story about Pup-peroni.

To help you be aware of your body language and insure you are in sync in a media interview?
Practice answering the questions out loud. Don’t just read them off your computer silently. Use you’re the video device on your computer or phone to record your answers so you see and hear your responses and can self monitor. In my experience most journalist and producers have very short deadlines, sometimes only 4 or 5 minute deadlines before they have to move on the cover the next story so you need to practice answering questions quickly for TV and Radio you need to practice giving not only quick clear responses but also one sentence rather than a paragraph response. That is the part that I find is difficult for my media coaching clients. They want to explain their answers or add on to them and in a live broadcast there is not time for that. So if you haven’t practiced giving short answers you can get flustered as most hosts want to keep the pace of the show going and will interrupt you or jump in with a pithy comment if your don’t give them a high energy quick response. So Practice responding to questions with one sentence and watch your mouth and eyes on the tape to make sure your expression and tone match the word message. Someone experts look to the host to for feedback that they have done a good job or make a face if they feel they didn’t give a great answer or if they are interrupted. You need to make sure your face stays still or shows interest in the conversation when you finish speaking. I can’t tell you how many times I see guests face scrunch up after they finish talking.

How do you deal with stressful media interviews?
When I am working with my media coaching clients I help them prepare. You need to prepare answers for all the questions you can possibly be asked,
Make sure you also brainstorm all the questions you hope they won’t ask and prepare a response for those tough questions as well.

What kind of body language exudes confidence and approachability in an interview or meeting? Prepare. Find out if you are going to standing or sitting and if you’re sitting if you will be on a stool, chair or sofa. Ideally you want your body to be relaxed and open. You want to show your confidence by taking up space leaning backwards and forwards as the interview or meeting goes on rather than freezing or planting in one fixed pose.

When you survive, when you have suffered mightily, when you are still moving, walking living... everything you do have is pure gravey.

The seventheenth century English teologian Jeremy Taylor is quoted in Love and Death,
'I am fallen into the hands of publicans and sequestrators, and they have taken all from me. what now:Le me look aobut me. They have left me the sun, moon, fire and water, a loving wife, and many freinds to pity me and some to relieve me."

More from the book,



"Everyone suffers, but not everyone despairs."

Another quote that shows you what you can do when loved ones and freinds are dealing with loss, grief and death, >we know what we've lost. But other people can't face it. They can't talk about it. They're frightened." "They are frightened of us too." "as if we had some kind of disease that they might catch if they got too close."

When my father died two weeks before what was supposed to be my last semester of college I had friends that stopped talking to me, stopped calling, friends who would even walk to the other side of the street when they saw me walking towards them on campus, just to avoid me. They didn't know how to be with someone grieving, so they avoiding being with me. It was terribly painful. It was a hard earned lesson that just being with someone is grieving is a greatest gift you can give them. Just being in the pain with them. Not running, hiding or placating just being.

A few weeks ago the mother of my friend Jim passed away. I have been searching for a book to give him. Something about grieving and loss and hope. Last night a friend read me a passage from a wonderful book on grief called Love & Death by Forrest Church.
Here is a quote
"My heart has broken again.. and for that I am overwhelmingly thankful; without love this would not be possible."

Ever notice how what people say about others tells you a lot about them? Happy people talk about their wonderful friend's, how great everyone at work is and how nice the cashier at the bank was today. Angry and sad people talk about how their boss sucks and the co-worker is an idiot and the waiter incompetent. Just think of the telling interview question, "How did you get along with your last boss?" You know the interviewer is seeking information about your boss not about you. says more about you than it may about them. Here is research that shows what you already know.

Science News
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What You Say About Others Says a Lot About You, Research Shows
ScienceDaily (Aug. 2, 2010) — How positively you see others is linked to how happy, kind-hearted and emotionally stable you are, according to new research by a Wake Forest University psychology professor.
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"Your perceptions of others reveal so much about your own personality," says Dustin Wood, assistant professor of psychology at Wake Forest and lead author of the study, about his findings. By asking study participants to each rate positive and negative characteristics of just three people, the researchers were able to find out important information about the rater's well-being, mental health, social attitudes and how they were judged by others.
The study appears in the July issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Peter Harms at the University of Nebraska and Simine Vazire of Washington University in St. Louis co-authored the study.
The researchers found a person's tendency to describe others in positive terms is an important indicator of the positivity of the person's own personality traits. They discovered particularly strong associations between positively judging others and how enthusiastic, happy, kind-hearted, courteous, emotionally stable and capable the person describes oneself and is described by others.
"Seeing others positively reveals our own positive traits," Wood says.
The study also found that how positively you see other people shows how satisfied you are with your own life, and how much you are liked by others.
In contrast, negative perceptions of others are linked to higher levels of narcissism and antisocial behavior. "A huge suite of negative personality traits are associated with viewing others negatively," Wood says. "The simple tendency to see people negatively indicates a greater likelihood of depression and various personality disorders." Given that negative perceptions of others may underlie several personality disorders, finding techniques to get people to see others more positively could promote the cessation of behavior patterns associated with several different personality disorders simultaneously, Wood says.
This research suggests that when you ask someone to rate the personality of a particular coworker or acquaintance, you may learn as much about the rater providing the personality description as the person they are describing. The level of negativity the rater uses in describing the other person may indeed indicate that the other person has negative characteristics, but may also be a tip off that the rater is unhappy, disagreeable, neurotic -- or has other negative personality traits.
Raters in the study consisted of friends rating one another, college freshmen rating others they knew in their dormitories, and fraternity and sorority members rating others in their organization. In all samples, participants rated real people and the positivity of their ratings were found to be associated with the participant's own characteristics.
By evaluating the raters and how they evaluated their peers again one year later, Wood found compelling evidence that how positively we tend to perceive others in our social environment is a highly stable trait that does not change substantially over time.
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Technology Tips
Teleprompter tool — Ian Griffin
Here’s a useful tool you can use if you plan to record a video using a Flip camera or need some way to practice a speech. This Web-based teleprompter application is no-charge. It’s so browser compatible, you can even use it on your iPhone. Once the script is entered it can be displayed on a screen, played at a slow or faster rate, etc. Features include:
• Elapsed time display
• Works in Firefox, Internet Explorer, Safari, Chrome
• Supports keyboard and mouse controls (start/pause, ff/rew, etc.) so you can control the prompter remotely
• Can run full-screen
• Control pad can be undocked for 2-screen operation — this way there is nothing but the text on the second monitor
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The importance of a good speaker introduction and how you can control the search results for someone entering your name into Google.
I had a very embarrassing moment yesterday.
Recently I prepared to speak to a group of CEO’s (all men) on body language and deception detection.
I sent my formal speaker introduction out to the client.
The day before the presentation I did the last check in with the client. including making sure he had my most recent speaker intro ready. The introduction included a mention of TV appearance I was going to be doing next week where I would be analyzing the body language of the defendant in a murder trial.
My cleint shared that a member of the group who is also a professional speaker had asked to introduce me. I asked him to make sure that the introduction I sent was used and if the speaker had any questions or wanted to make changes I was happy to talk to him before the program.
I introduced myself to the speaker/introducer and he shared that I had an impressive introduction. However, when he went to introduce me he didn’t use it! Instead he got up and said he was upset the meeting notice had a bio of me that had stolen his material and flipped on what he said was a Google search of my name with, “Flirting” in bold print at the top of the screen. He then and made a joke about what I was was obviously an expert in flirting and body language. After the program I checed my google listing. That article listing was ten pages down with many hard news publications and TV shows listed in the pages before it. Then he laughed and said he had another one of my specialites and preceded to show a video of me. Not a video of any of my hard news interviews, but instead and interview I had done as the national spokesperson for Pup-peroni, being asked about dog body language! Finally he said,
"She has been in lot of publications." "Here is Patti."
As you can imagine my credibility with the group was shot. It took some hard work in the first few minutes to get the groups respect. The group was great. The gentlemen where intelligent and energetic and excited to gain insights into body language. I have been not only asked back, but asked to join their organization so. I am happy. But it brought home to me yet again the importance of a good introduction and making sure you do everything in your power to be presented well to the group. Google searches of your name can bring up some crazy stuff. Not only your work, but that of any one with a similar name so make sure you prepare for each important presentation by searching your name and if your speaking about a particular product or as a representative of a particular company the company and perhaps use the following google button to control your name search.

Speaker Henry Maxwell shared recently in SpeakerNetnews a way totarget Google searchesof your name. It is a cool tool to stand out in Google & elsewhere.
Have you been frustrated by Google results on your name? Do your potential clients have to wade through pages or refine their search to find you? ABC News recently ran a short segment about a possible solution where you can set up your dedicated profile page with your tailored search and a “search me” button. Then add it to your LinkedIn profile, Face book page, or online resume.

I just read a fun article about jobs for people who love to talk.
Here is the link. http://www.theworkbuzz.com/careers/jobs-for-people-who-love-to-talk/comment-page-1/#comment-7540

How do I reduce my nervousness and stop having panic attacks when I get up to speak/

If you sign up for one on one public speaking coaching, I can work with you and
teach you and techniques to reduce you anxiety.
You don’t have to worry about future panic attacks. We can set up a coaching session, talk about what happens in your mind and what goes on in your body, set goals for what you would like to change and improve and start working immediately on making you feel calm, energized and confident.
The Washington Post described Patti as,"The Gold Standard of Body Language and Babe Ruth of Body Language." and the New York Times credited her with bringing the topic to national attention. A professional speaker, author and body language expert she reads the nonverbal cues of world leaders, politicians, celebrities, crime suspects, business leaders and the world at large. She has been interviewed on hundreds of TV Networks including: The BBC,CNN, Regis and Kelly, FOX news, PBS, The History Channel, TruTV's In Session, E!, The Discovery Channel, Inside Edition and thousands of print and online publications including;USA Today, US Weekly, MSN.com, AOL.Com, Psychology Today, Parent Magazine, Cosmopolitan and more. Patti taught nonverbal communication at the FSU and she has been researching, writing and speaking to corporations on the topic since 1982. Patti has written several books including: latest books include, & quot; Success Signals Understanding Body Language": You can see her program topics, client list and videos at http://www.pattiwood.net.

So how do you become a professional speaker?
Just where do you learn the skills and the confidence to become a good speaker?
How do I find speaking engagements.

If someone comes up to me after I give a speech and asks. "How can I become a speakr and do what you do?" or. if a coaching client comes to me and wants to become a professional speaker and or hone his or her skills as a speaker my first recommendation is, "Start Speaking!" Find any place any group, any organization that will have you and create a 15 minute to one hour speech and give it for free.

Recently, in the newsletter Speakernetnews this question was posed to the members. They had some great ideas that I will share with you below.

Sign up for this newsletter. I have been reading and contributing to it for years.

http://www.speakernetnews.com/post/freespeeches.html
Here is the newbie speakers questions.
I want to give a newly developed speech at least 20 times to polish it before charging a fee. The speech requires 60 minutes and I don’t want to shorten it during the practice period. My target audience is people in their late 30s to early 60s; businesspeople or general audience (the talk is a new concept which motivates people to fitness). Where are the best places to go to “sell” a free program of this length?


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— Maggie Chicoine

I contact the local Association for Volunteer Administrators (or the Volunteer Bureau) and offer a list of sessions which I’ll be testing in the next year. They must contact me formally to book the date. Volunteer organizations are happy with the offer and advertise on my behalf. I’ve been doing this for 24 years.

The “deal” is that they receive the session at no charge, but in return, they need to have a small group of participants stay for an additional hour after the presentation for some feedback and possible re-design. Amazing — this leads to paid gigs in the future.


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— Joan Stewart

Contact local chambers of commerce, Rotary, Kiwanis, Business Networking International, and any other business networking groups.

Go to MeetUp.com and see what business groups are meeting near you. I belong to a MeetUp group for Internet marketers in Wisconsin, and at our last meeting, we discussed which speakers we could invite to speak for free.

Go to Craigslist and check out the community category. You’ll find sub-categories for classes, events and small business. Post a note in the best category offering your services. Make sure you don’t post the same item to more than one category.

Get a local business journal, daily or weekly newspaper or business magazine and check the section of the paper that announces local business events and who is speaking. You’ll find a lot of groups you probably never knew existed. There’s usually a phone number to call for registration. Call that number and ask for the meeting planner.

If you’re Twittering (you should be), let your followers know about your topic and ask them for suggestions. I’m assuming you want to speak only locally. If so, use a hashtag (#) next to your city, like this: #Chicago, so people who are searching for information on that city will find your tweet.

If you’re on LinkedIn (you should be), post the question in their Q&A section and you might get responses from people who do business near you.

If you’re on Facebook, ask your friends to spread the word.

You probably won’t have to resort to paid ads. But if you do, you can target people in specific geographic locations with fairly cheap ads on Facebook and LinkedIn.


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— Rebecca Morgan

For local association meetings, the library reference section with have the Encyclopedia of Associations. The librarian may have access to the online version, which I believe, requires a fee to search. You can then search by your local area and they should give you contact info.

Also, search the ASAE site — you might be able to do so by zip code, although I’ve not done that.

You may also offer this to your local clients (or ask your corporate friends) as a lunch and learn. Some will allow an hour, some 45 or 30 min.

I understand why you don’t want to go under an hour. As you know, that will also limit who you can give this to because some will only have shorter time frames (e.g., Rotary, Lions, Kiwanis).

What about adult communities? I’m sure they offer lectures there as a service to their residents.


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— Deborah Laurel

The best places I’ve found to “sell” a free program are associations. There are hundreds and most of them have programs for their members every month and need speakers! Just think about which associations would have your demographic and give their professional development chair a call. Most local associations are listed in the telephone book.


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— Sandra Schrift

The 60-minute format may limit your possibilities. Try the health clubs, YMCA gyms, spas, monthly network groups, an MPI chapter, an ASAE chapter, your city Bar association, local Chamber of Commerce, singles dating groups.

Unfortunately, service clubs who book speakers regularly limit their programs to 30 minutes.


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— Mindy Gibbins-Klein

You could contact your local chambers of commerce. And my best idea would be to contact fellow speakers and trainers and offer to do a one-hour segment during one of their programs. If they can fit you in, it adds value for them, and spices things up since the audience doesn’t have to watch the same person all day.


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— Beth Bridges

Try Chambers of Commerce. Look for “lunch and learn” or “seminar series” or other similar topics. Usually they are a lunchtime, brown-bag type of event offered to members of the organization.

Maybe team up with a nutritionist or caterer who specializes in healthy food, offer a free lunch and promote it through the Chamber (assuming you are a member!)?

Hospital nurses, health care workers, and government employees come to mind for some reason LOL, perhaps at their staff meetings? Again, offer a free healthy lunch... or healthy snacks.

One of the local university nutrition programs maybe?



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SpeakerNet News is produced by Rebecca Morgan and Ken Braly. It is not affiliated with the National Speakers Association. Send comments or suggestions

How do you introduce yourself to an audience that doesn' know you?

In my Three Day Public Speaking Workshop last week each participant practiced giving a "self introduction." If you are giving and internal presentation or giving a presentation you rarely get and a formal introduction. Heck, you are lucky to get an, "And here is are speaker, Joe." It is important to give a credibility statement so the group knows who the heck you are and why you where choosen or chose to speak to them that day on that particular topic. I have guidelines and a step by step process for introductions in my book, "Easy Speaking."

Below are more tips from, "Speaker Net News". It is a fabulous newsletter for speakers and if you speak I recommend it!

http://www.speakernetnews.com/post/selfintro.html
/11/2010

I will be delivering several concurrent sessions at an upcoming conference. Each of the speakers has been asked to do self-introductions before each session. Although I’ve seen this done well with a team of presenters, I’d like some ideas on how to start off with a great self-introduction. What have you done in the past when you don’t have a session introducer? What are some memorable and successful ways to use video for introductions?


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— Milo Shapiro

Others might disagree, but here was my first thought:

My normal introduction includes PowerPoint slides that precede my first actual slide. They show pictures of me in different situations that go with what is being said about me. It gives the visual learners something to focus on and, as I designed it, yields a few laughs as well.

I think a self-introduction is a horrible idea because it undermines a strong opening, but if I were given no choice, I’d have a friend of the opposite gender (so it couldn’t possibly be interpreted as being my voice) record my introduction for me and I’d play it as I advanced the PowerPoint slides as she spoke. It’s different, memorable, and allows the first words out of my mouth to be more powerful than what’s in my intro.


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— Steve Barcellona

Here’s an idea I have used a couple of times with great results.

Walk on the platform and begin a glowing introduction of yourself. “This next speaker is a person I have known for many years. It is so rare to meet someone who you see eye to eye with, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... Let’s really have a huge round of applause for a great speaker, (your name)!” Throw your hand back like someone is going to walk out, run to the back of the platform and step forward with a flattered, surprised look on your face. You will get a big laugh and the group will love you right from the start.

— Diana Royce Smith

This is just a one-off idea but could be interesting and fun. Become someone else and, as them, introduce yourself. It could be a favorite client or last client — and you could actually get them to talk with you about what they’d say (now that they’ve experienced you) and employ that.

Or some character everyone could recognize — Steve Jobs? Oprah Winfrey? Or do the intro you’ve always dreamed about, or had nightmares about. Be sure to acknowledge the introduction when “you” take over from “them.”

— Steve Hughes

Here are some ideas, and since I don’t know you, I say find what you think works best for you and go for it.

Read the introduction as though it were written by somebody else. I’ve done this before as though my mom wrote it, but you have to set it up. “Ladies & Gentlemen, since there’s no one here to introduce me and it cost too much to fly my mom here, I thought I’d go ahead and read the introduction that she wrote.” Then have fun with it. Say how proud she is of you.
You can do the same thing from other people’s perspective, i.e. a member of the audience/company, their biggest competitor, the hotel staff, etc.
Have someone else to from the audience to come up and introduce you. Two options: arrange it ahead of time with a willing party, or offer an incentive like a $10 Starbucks card for someone who is willing to come up on stage and introduce you.
Get one of the speakers from another concurrent session (who isn’t slated to speak during your time slot) and have him/her introduce you. At least you know they’re somewhat competent at speaking and will do a good job.
Whatever you, be sure to give them a nugget or something of value first. Truth be told, they don’t necessarily care about you at the beginning of your speech, but after you give them a poignant thought, an interesting quote, or an answer to a problem, they’ll be more interested in hearing more about you.

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— Merit Gest

I think it would be clever and fun to use a video intro. Why not have another professional speaker do your introduction on video and use that instead of you telling the group about yourself, which always seems awkward. I wonder if you could do something clever with the video as if it were a live person and record them with pauses for you to interact. I’m not saying this from experience, but it sounds clever and funny in theory. Also, it could be a lot more time invested in an intro than is really necessary.

— Rita Risser

I have made more than a thousand presentations where I self-introduced. I figure they are already there so I don’t have to say anything! I start by saying, "OK, let’s get started." People quiet down, I say "My name is Rita Risser, and I’m a lawyer," and then say something meant to be funny like "but don’t hold it against me" or "and I like lawyer jokes" or something else very light. Then "In this session we’re going to ..." Remember, WIIFM — what’s in it for me (the audience member). To me the most important thing to do is to connect with them by showing them quickly I have a sense of humor and that I respect their time by getting to the content.

I do have my total bio in the handout. If you don’t have a handout it could be on a PP slide when they come in. I do weave in my background through my anecdotes — “When I coach executives on ..., they sometimes say...”



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SpeakerNet News is produced by Rebecca Morgan and Ken Braly. It is not affiliated with the National Speakers Association. Send comments or suggestions

A few weeks ago I was on TruTV’s “In Session” analyzing the defendant’s voice and body language during his interrogation and the trial. I was doing interviews of Tiger Wood’s apology the same day. My audiences in the last two weeks have been riveted to all the nonverbal information shown in those two cases.

Quote for the day.

I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act. The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.” —Abraham Maslow

My friend Pat MacEnulty has a new book out call Picara.
Here is a video interview with Pat discussing the book.

The show is up on Youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtCb4pTe_L4

FYI Pat and I were housemates in Grad School. She is a dear friend and an
extraordinary writer.


Book Recommendation Picara by Pat MacEnulty

Attention Getter example

I made some "dirt" from crushed Oreos, chocolate pudding, and Cool Whip. I took a real plant and put the pot (base covered in foil) inside a larger pot filled with the edible "dirt". It looked like the edible dirt was what the plant was potted in. After introducing that we would be studying soils for the next unit, I announced that I wondered what soil (humas) tasted like. I impulsively opened my desk drawer, took out a spoon and ate some "dirt" from the potted plant. The students gasped, thinking I was nuts; then I confessed and we all ate some edible "dirt" for fun as we began to discuss soils and in particular humas. Another time my second graders were studying amphibians when I began eating some eating Tapioca posed as frog eggs. Yes

Speaking can even help your politically the way it did for Queen Elizabeth.
Elizabeth didn't just sit down with her la top and start making PowerPoint slides. She was tutored by classical scholars, most notable Roger Ascham, who held the office of public orator in Cambridge. In the Renaissance it was important to be an eloquent speaker, as it revealed to the public that you had a high degree of education. Maia Perry, a prominent modern historian of the period, said that "speech making came naturally to Elizabeth who quickly developed this skill of talking with such style and flamboyance that contemporary analysts treasured even her most casual sayings.” Yes, Elizabeth was the first Queen of the Soundbite.
And Elizabeth certainly used every speaking opportunity to gain political power. For example, on a royal tour stop at Cambridge she addressed the university, speaking extemporaneously in Latin. Today, being an eloquent speaker can also makes you look smart, give you an opportunity to be seen and gain political power, but also give you an unique opportunity to connect face to face in a normally very high tech environment.

Power of Three - How many points should I have in a speech?

Chunk Information so You’re Audience Will Remember It!

An audience Sensory memory retains an exact copy of what they see or hear, but only very briefly. Sense memory only lasts for a few seconds in fact some researches say lasts only 300 milliseconds. You need to help your audience get it into the next storage unit. Selective attention determines what information moves from sensory memory to short-term memory. STM is most often stored as sounds, especially when your audience is recalling words, but it may be stored as images.
Short-term memory provides working space in the brain like RAM memory in your computer. Short memory is thought to be 7 bits in length, meaning, audiences normally only remember 7 items in their short-term memory. You can have seven points if you are doing training, but it may be to many points for a speech. Storage that is more permanent is provided in long-term memory. The brains of your audience decide whether to put what you share with them into long term me memory based on its meaning and importance to them. That is why it so important to have a Tie to the Audience where you state the relevance of the information to there needs.

The Power of Three

You’re trying to remember a friend’s cell phone number and you don’t try to remember all the digits in a long list. You remember the three-digit area code, the three-digit prefix and then the last four numbers. Why? Because three elements are easier to remember than 10. Our short-term memory loves threes. When we are young that chunking into threes and that’s why we love to hear the story of the story of the three bears.

Brainstorm below all the things you can think of that come in threes. Think fairy tale characters, sports, jokes, and religious references. List things that come in threes.

Here are some examples

The three musketeers,
Three goats gruff,
Three blind mice,
Three little pigs.
Three strikes
Father Son and Holy Ghost
Three stooges
Lights Camera actions
Judge Jury Executioner
The Way the Truth the Light
Englishman and Irishmen and Scotsman
A rabbi and priest and a minister
Churchill’s famous speech “I can promise you blood sweat toil and tears” that everyone remembers as three things blood sweat and tears.
Reading writing romantic
ABC’s

So why did I have you list these things. Because we can very easily remember three things. Really, after teaching Presentation Skills for over 26 years I can tell you that audiences really can’t remember more than three points that you have made in your speech. You can have more, but they will either take your ten points or make it into three points or they will remember three of your ten points. My advice is to divide your speech into three points. Create three nice chunks of information. One of my friend’s teenagers was trying to convince her parents to let her go on a field trip to Washington DC. She went on and on and I could tell they had tuned her out. I took her aside, said think about it tonight, and go back to them tomorrow with three strong reasons. She did and they let her go. Audiences turn off when a speaker drones on and on about the smallest detail. Stick to the most important things.

Power Point Show. This is a tip Power Points so you don't get messed up hitting the wrong button.
PowerPoint show — Bill Collier
When using PowerPoint I’ve occasionally hit the wrong button on my remote, or hit the “Escape” key on my computer, and find myself either in the Slide Sorter view or some other awkward situation which then required me to grab the mouse and get back into Slide Show mode. It kills momentum and is a distraction for all.
I learned that you can save your slides as a PowerPoint Show and use this during the presentation. This runs on its own, without launching PowerPoint. It eliminates the possibility of stumbling into other views during your talk.
To do this, use File > Save As. Then, pull down the Save as Type > PowerPoint Show (*.pps). Give it a file name or keep the same name. You’re done. Double-click on this new file (no need to open PowerPoint) and you’re ready to present.
One downside: If you need to leave your presentation to show a file that is not embedded, you’ll use “Escape” and will leave the show completely. To get back to your current slide you’ll have to either click through or right-click > Go To Slide. But if you stay in the same presentation the entire time and don’t need to access other computer resources during your presentation, this is a great way to avoid hiccups.
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Nine years ago one of my girlfriends invited me to Southern Voices book festival. I thought rather priggishly that the last thing in world I wanted to do was go to a library in Hoover Alabama and listen to authors speak all day! Having attended the conference for the last nine years I can say that that my favorite weekend of the entire year. The conference is run so well and the authors are so warm and funny and smart. They don't just read from their books or read a speech they command the stage and connect. Last Friday we heard the poet Laurette of the United Stated Billy Collins speak. He has a dry urbane wit and we laughed for an hour as he read his poetry. Here is a link to the site. I believe you can download audio and video of the writers speaking. This year there were great Speakers with great body language. I actually had the delicious treat of speaking briefly to Billy Collins. I was introduced as just having done several interviews on Tiger Wood's body language and Billy gave his opinion. Check out my article in Bull Dog reporter for what he said. And google Patti Wood Tiger Wood's for my other comments.

How to show love through your greetings and goodbyes.

I was quoted in the Toronto Sun today.

Here Love signals

Say hello to love.

Celebrity body language expert Patti Wood says warm, caring greetings are extremely important love signals for keeping the love alive.

“Always make a loving ritual of hellos and goodbyes,” stresses Wood.

No matter where you are in the house, drop whatever you’re doing, and greet your spouse with a kiss and or a hug hello when they come home. “Go to them immediately, even if you are on the phone, cooking or online.” This communicates that he or she is the most important thing to you.

“You are saying nonverbally, ‘You come first,’” says Wood, adding that no warm welcome actually increases the chance of arguing later on.

Goodbye hugs and kisses have a big impact too. These gestures say “I leave you with love,” says Wood. “With a touch goodbye, you anchor to your mate.”

 She also recommends creating a “secret” – a non-verbal love signal shared just between the two of you. “The look can mean, ‘I love you,’ ‘I want you right now’ or ‘You look great to me’,” suggests Wood, a savvy motivational speaker.

Your secret love signal could be as simple as a sly smile, or your lips puckered up, or maybe a quick wrinkling up of the nose. It could be as simple as a tilt to the head to indicate you’d like to rest your head on his shoulder as a gesture of warmth and respect, says Wood, of pattiwood.net.

Words are not needed, she adds. “The secret love signal can recreate the love each time it is given.”

She also suggests focusing on care-taking signals to strengthen relationships, like bringing someone a glass of water or making them a cup of tea. Picking up their dry cleaning for them or even packing them a healthy snack for work.

Wood adds that standing close to one another, making eye contact and showing sincere interest by leaning in when you’re speaking to one another also contribute to a great connection.

It’s touch or go - and never too late to re-ignite that loving feeling

Haiti:
I have a painting I bought in Haiti I call Elvis's children. Painted on a piece of plywood in bold primary colors are hundreds of little black angles with white robes and wings all playing musical instruments and flying in a bright blue sky. The men all have Elvis Presley like side burns, hence my name for the painting. I love this work of art.
I remember the sunny blue sky day on the private beach in Haiti when I bought the painting. Scattered across a shady part of the beach were hundreds of bright blobs of color. This painting, with its tiny angels immediately captured my fancy. Its full of details. The sky is filled with musicians with wings, but it also has a river filled with long brown boats filled with tiny natives and at the rivers end a tree of life loaded with not just one kind of fruit, but every fruit and vegetable you can imagine, and also birthing big red, purple and green balloon's just for fun.
I asked the man hovering over the section of painting where I found this piece of art if he had painted it he smiled wide, nodded his head said, "Yes!" enthusiastically." When I asked him his name his body bent out over the painting to get an upside down view of the signature. He struggled to read the name of the artist and make it his own. We laughed as he tried to say the artists name and I handed all the money I had with me for the trip to him to him to take it home.
It hung in my house for many years. A house with running water, a full refrigerator and pantry filled with food. It's a true conversation piece. A memory of a golden afternoon on a tropical isle conversing with a happy art trader.
Since the disaster in Haiti I have thought about that man. Is he safe? Did he survive? I have wondered about the man or women who painted all those little angels. Are the two in Haiti, looking for food and water, struggling to survive? or are they playing tunes with Elvis children, little angels in the bright blue Haitian sky?

I just read a moving article on a survivor of the Haitian quake in "The Week." I highly recommend that you read it. You can find the original article titled, Haiti: A survivors' story at Salon.com

Personality Traits of Creatve People.
I just read a wonderful article on creative people in Psychology Today.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199607/the-creative-personality?page=3
Of all human activities, creativity comes closest to providing the fulfillment we all hope to get in our lives. Call it full-blast living.
Creativity is a central source of meaning in our lives. Most of the things that are interesting, important, and human are the result of creativity. What makes us different from apes—our language, values, artistic expression, scientific understanding, and technology—is the result of individual ingenuity that was recognized, rewarded, and transmitted through learning.
When we're creative, we feel we are living more fully than during the rest of life. The excitement of the artist at the easel or the scientist in the lab comes close to the ideal fulfillment we all hope to get from life, and so rarely do. Perhaps only sex, sports, music, and religious ecstasy—even when these experiences remain fleeting and leave no trace—provide a profound sense of being part of an entity greater than ourselves. But creativity also leaves an outcome that adds to the richness and complexity of the future.I have devoted 30 years of research to how creative people live and work, to make more understandable the mysterious process by which they come up with new ideas and new things. Creative individuals are remarkable for their ability to adapt to almost any situation and to make do with whatever is at hand to reach their goals. If I had to express in one word what makes their personalities different from others, it's complexity. They show tendencies of thought and action that in most people are segregated. They contain contradictory extremes; instead of being an "individual," each of them is a "multitude."
Here are the 10 antithetical traits often present in creative people that are integrated with each other in a dialectical tension.
1. Creative people have a great deal of physical energy, but they're also often quiet and at rest. They work long hours, with great concentration, while projecting an aura of freshness and enthusiasm. This suggests a superior physical endowment, a genetic advantage. Yet it is surprising how often individuals who in their seventies and eighties exude energy and health remember childhoods plagued by illness. It seems that their energy is internally generated, due more to their focused minds than to the superiority of their genes.
This does not mean that creative people are hyperactive, always "on." In fact, they rest often and sleep a lot. The important thing is that they control their energy; it's not ruled by the calendar, the dock, an external schedule. When necessary, they can focus it like a laser beam; when not, creative types immediately recharge their batteries. They consider the rhythm of activity followed by idleness or reflection very important for the success of their work. This is not a bio-rhythm inherited with their genes; it was learned by trial and error as a strategy for achieving their goals.One manifestation of energy is sexuality. Creative people are paradoxical in this respect also. They seem to have quite a strong dose of eros, or generalized libidinal energy, which some express directly into sexuality. At the same time, a certain spartan celibacy is also a part of their makeup; continence tends to accompany superior achievement. Without eros, it would be difficult to take life on with vigor; without restraint, the energy could easily dissipate.
2. Creative people tend to be smart yet naive at the same time. (This sounds like me.) How smart they actually are is open to question. It is probably true that what psychologists call the "g factor," meaning a core of general intelligence, is high among people who make important creative contributions.
The earliest longitudinal study of superior mental abilities, initiated at Stanford University by the psychologist Lewis Terman in 1921, shows rather conclusively that children with very high IQs do well in life, but after a certain point IQ does not seem to be correlated any longer with superior performance in real life. Later studies suggest that the cutoff point is around 120; it might be difficult to do creative work with a lower IQ, but an IQ beyond 120 does not necessarily imply higher creativity.
Another way of expressing this dialectic is the contrasting poles of wisdom and childishness. As Howard Gardner remarked in his study of the major creative geniuses of this century, a certain immaturity, both emotional and mental, can go hand in hand with deepest insights. Mozart comes immediately to mind.
Furthermore, people who bring about an acceptable novelty in a domain seem able to use well two opposite ways of thinking: the convergent and the divergent. Convergent thinking is measured by IQ tests, and it involves solving well-defined, rational problems that have one correct answer. Divergent thinking leads to no agreed-upon solution. It involves fluency, or the ability to generate a great quantity of ideas; flexibility, or the ability to switch from one perspective to another; and originality in picking unusual associations of ideas. These are the dimensions of thinking that most creativity tests measure and that most workshops try to enhance.Yet there remains the nagging suspicion that at the highest levels of creative achievement the generation of novelty is not the main issue. People often claimed to have had only two or three good ideas in their entire career, but each idea was so generative that it kept them busy for a lifetime of testing, filling out, elaborating, and applying.
Divergent thinking is not much use without the ability to tell a good idea from a bad one, and this selectivity involves convergent thinking.


The Creative Personality Creative individuals are remarkable for their ability to adapt to almost any situation and to make do with whatever is at hand to reach their goals.
By Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, published on July 01, 1996 - last reviewed on October 14, 2008
•Creative people are both rebellious and conservative. It is impossible to be creative without having first internalized an area of culture. So it's difficult to see how a person can be creative without being both traditional and conservative and at the same time rebellious and iconoclastic. Being only traditional leaves an area unchanged; constantly taking chances without regard to what has been valued in the past rarely leads to novelty that is accepted as an improvement. The artist Eva Zeisel, who says that the folk tradition in which she works is "her home," nevertheless produces ceramics that were recognized by the Museum of Modern Art as masterpieces of contemporary design. This is what she says about innovation for its own sake:
"This idea to create something is not my aim. To be different is a negative motive, and no creative thought or created thing grows out of a negative impulse. A negative impulse is always frustrating. And to be different means 'not like this' and 'not like that.' And the 'not like'—that's why postmodernism, with the prefix of 'post,' couldn't work. No negative impulse can work, can produce any happy creation. Only a positive one."

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But the willingness to take risks, to break with the safety of tradition, is also necessary. The economist George Stigler is very emphatic in this regard: "I'd say one of the most common failures of able people is a lack of nerve. They'll play safe games. In innovation, you have to play a less safe game, if it's going to be interesting. It's not predictable that it'll go well."

•Most creative people are very passionate about their work, yet they can be extremely objective about it as well. Without the passion, we soon lose interest in a difficult task. Yet without being objective about it, our work is not very good and lacks credibility. Here is how the historian Natalie Davis puts it:
"I think it is very important to find a way to be detached from what you write, so that you can't be so identified with your work that you can't accept criticism and response, and that is the danger of having as much affect as I do. But I am aware of that and of when I think it is particularly important to detach oneself from the work, and that is something where age really does help."

•Creative people's openness and sensitivity often exposes them to suffering and pain, yet also to a great deal of enjoyment. Most would agree with Rabinow's words: "Inventors have a low threshold of pain. Things bother them." A badly designed machine causes pain to an inventive engineer, just as the creative writer is hurt when reading bad prose.
Being alone at the forefront of a discipline also leaves you exposed and vulnerable. Eminence invites criticism and often vicious attacks. When an artist has invested years in making a sculpture, or a scientist in developing a theory, it is devastating if nobody cares.

Deep interest and involvement in obscure subjects often goes unrewarded, or even brings on ridicule. Divergent thinking is often perceived as deviant by the majority, and so the creative person may feel isolated and misunderstood.

Perhaps the most difficult thing for creative individuals to bear is the sense of loss and emptiness they experience when, for some reason, they cannot work. This is especially painful when a person feels his or her creativity drying out.

Yet when a person is working in the area of his of her expertise, worries and cares fall away, replaced by a sense of bliss. Perhaps the most important quality, the one that is most consistently present in all creative individuals, is the ability to enjoy the process of creation for its own sake. Without this trait, poets would give up striving for perfection and would write commercial jingles, economists would work for banks where they would earn at least twice as much as they do at universities, and physicists would stop doing basic research and join industrial laboratories where the conditions are better and the expectations more predictable.

•Creative people combine playfulness and discipline, or responsibility and irresponsibility. There is no question that a playfully light attitude is typical of creative individuals. But this playfulness doesn't go very far without its antithesis, a quality of doggedness, endurance, perseverance.
Nina Holton, whose playfully wild germs of ideas are the genesis of her sculpture, is very firm about the importance of hard work: "Tell anybody you're a sculptor and they'll say, 'Oh, how exciting, how wonderful.' And I tend to say, 'What's so wonderful?' It's like being a mason, or a carpenter, half the time. But they don't wish to hear that because they really only imagine the first part, the exciting part. But, as Khrushchev once said, that doesn't fry pancakes, you see. That germ of an idea does not make a sculpture which stands up. It just sits there. So the next stage is the hard work. Can you really translate it into a piece of sculpture?"

Jacob Rabinow, an electrical engineer, uses an interesting mental technique to slow himself down when work on an invention requires more endurance than intuition: "When I have a job that takes a lot of effort, slowly, I pretend I'm in jail. If I'm in jail, time is of no consequence. In other words, if it takes a week to cut this, it'll take a week. What else have I got to do? I'm going to be here for twenty years. See? This is a kind of mental trick. Otherwise you say, 'My God, it's not working,' and then you make mistakes. My way, you say time is of absolutely no consequence."

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Despite the carefree air that many creative people affect, most of them work late into the night and persist when less driven individuals would not. Vasari wrote in 1550 that when Renaissance painter Paolo Uccello was working out the laws of visual perspective, he would walk back and forth all night, muttering to himself: "What a beautiful thing is this perspective!" while his wife called him back to bed with no success.

•Creative people alternate between imagination and fantasy, and a rooted sense of reality. Great art and great science involve a leap of imagination into a world that is different from the present. The rest of society often views these new ideas as fantasies without relevance to current reality. And they are right. But the whole point of art and science is to go beyond what we now consider real and create a new reality. At the same time, this "escape" is not into a never-never land. What makes a novel idea creative is that once we see it, sooner or later we recognize that, strange as it is, it is true.
Most of us assume that artists—musicians, writers, poets, painters—are strong on the fantasy side, whereas scientists, politicians, and businesspeople are realists. This may be true in terms of day-to-day routine activities. But when a person begins to work creatively, all bets are off.

•Creative people tend to be both extroverted and introverted. We're usually one or the other, either preferring to be in the thick of crowds or sitting on the sidelines and observing the passing show. In fact, in psychological research, extroversion and introversion are considered the most stable personality traits that differentiate people from each other and that can be reliably measured. Creative individuals, on the other hand, seem to exhibit both traits simultaneously.
•Creative people are humble and proud at the same time. It is remarkable to meet a famous person who you expect to be arrogant or supercilious, only to encounter self-deprecation and shyness instead. Yet there are good reasons why this should be so. These individuals are well aware that they stand, in Newton's words, "on the shoulders of giants." Their respect for the area in which they work makes them aware of the long line of previous contributions to it, putting their own in perspective. They're also aware of the role that luck played in their own achievements. And they're usually so focused on future projects and current challenges that past accomplishments, no matter how outstanding, are no longer very interesting to them. At the same time, they know that in comparison with others, they have accomplished a great deal. And this knowledge provides a sense of security, even pride.
•Creative people, to an extent, escape rigid gender role stereotyping. When tests of masculinity/femininity are given to young people, over and over one finds that creative and talented girls are more dominant and tough than other girls, and creative boys are more sensitive and less aggressive than their male peers.
This tendency toward androgyny is sometimes understood in purely sexual terms, and therefore it gets confused with homosexuality. But psychological androgyny is a much wider concept referring to a person's ability to be at the same time aggressive and nurturant, sensitive and rigid, dominant and submissive, regardless of gender. A psychologically androgynous person in effect doubles his or her repertoire of responses. Creative individuals are more likely to have not only the strengths of their own gender but those of the other one, too.

•Creative people are both rebellious and conservative. It is impossible to be creative without having first internalized an area of culture. So it's difficult to see how a person can be creative without being both traditional and conservative and at the same time rebellious and iconoclastic. Being only traditional leaves an area unchanged; constantly taking chances without regard to what has been valued in the past rarely leads to novelty that is accepted as an improvement. The artist Eva Zeisel, who says that the folk tradition in which she works is "her home," nevertheless produces ceramics that were recognized by the Museum of Modern Art as masterpieces of contemporary design. This is what she says about innovation for its own sake:
"This idea to create something is not my aim. To be different is a negative motive, and no creative thought or created thing grows out of a negative impulse. A negative impulse is always frustrating. And to be different means 'not like this' and 'not like that.' And the 'not like'—that's why postmodernism, with the prefix of 'post,' couldn't work. No negative impulse can work, can produce any happy creation. Only a positive one."

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and more!
But the willingness to take risks, to break with the safety of tradition, is also necessary. The economist George Stigler is very emphatic in this regard: "I'd say one of the most common failures of able people is a lack of nerve. They'll play safe games. In innovation, you have to play a less safe game, if it's going to be interesting. It's not predictable that it'll go well."

•Most creative people are very passionate about their work, yet they can be extremely objective about it as well. Without the passion, we soon lose interest in a difficult task. Yet without being objective about it, our work is not very good and lacks credibility. Here is how the historian Natalie Davis puts it:
"I think it is very important to find a way to be detached from what you write, so that you can't be so identified with your work that you can't accept criticism and response, and that is the danger of having as much affect as I do. But I am aware of that and of when I think it is particularly important to detach oneself from the work, and that is something where age really does help."

•Creative people's openness and sensitivity often exposes them to suffering and pain, yet also to a great deal of enjoyment. Most would agree with Rabinow's words: "Inventors have a low threshold of pain. Things bother them." A badly designed machine causes pain to an inventive engineer, just as the creative writer is hurt when reading bad prose.
Being alone at the forefront of a discipline also leaves you exposed and vulnerable. Eminence invites criticism and often vicious attacks. When an artist has invested years in making a sculpture, or a scientist in developing a theory, it is devastating if nobody cares.

Deep interest and involvement in obscure subjects often goes unrewarded, or even brings on ridicule. Divergent thinking is often perceived as deviant by the majority, and so the creative person may feel isolated and misunderstood.

Perhaps the most difficult thing for creative individuals to bear is the sense of loss and emptiness they experience when, for some reason, they cannot work. This is especially painful when a person feels his or her creativity drying out.

Yet when a person is working in the area of his of her expertise, worries and cares fall away, replaced by a sense of bliss. Perhaps the most important quality, the one that is most consistently present in all creative individuals, is the ability to enjoy the process of creation for its own sake. Without this trait, poets would give up striving for perfection and would write commercial jingles, economists would work for banks where they would earn at least twice as much as they do at universities, and physicists would stop doing basic research and join industrial laboratories where the conditions are better and the expectations more predic
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From Creativity: The Work and Lives of 91 Eminent People, by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, published by HarperCollins, 1996.