We also started a new tradition. One of my sisters is working for and Estate Sale business. She filled a box with old tools like hammers and measuring tape, kitchen gadgets like wine bottle openers, beauty products like nail files and new brush sets that she picked up for a nickel or dim. She passed around the box and we each picked one item out of the box and passed it around then we kept passing and picking one item. We laughed so hard as we picked up odd items and made up stories about what the item was for.

Can you make your point in six words or less? Here are some of the entries of a contest sponsored by speakernetnews. I won a little honorable mention.

First Place
•Give wisdom away; it returns tenfold. (Charlie Hawkins)
Second Place
•Hope is not an investment strategy. (Douglas Rice)
Third Place
•Net worth and self worth differ. (Douglas Rice)
Honorable Mention (in no particular order)
•Customer loyalty is fleeting and subjective (Lisa Ford)
•Exceptional service is no longer optional. (Laurie Brown)
•Pamper your clients. Confound the competition. (Mitch Carnell)
•Repeat customers are the most profitable (Dick Larkin)
•Referred prospects make the best customers (Dick Larkin)
•Social networking - come tweet with me. (Jim Carrillo)
•No stress with three deep breaths. (Rita Makana Risser)
•Stop whining. It hurts my ears! (Susanne Gaddis)
•A closed mouth doesn't get fed. (Peggy Duncan)
•Only the visible get known. Really! (Roberta Guise)
•Investing in the future is history (Doc Blakely)
•Read people from the outside in. (Patti Wood)
•Wear your jammies while educating people (Joe Liss)
•Use brains before you use brawn (Bob Mittelsdorf)
•The opposite of harassment is respect. (Rita Makana Risser)
•Wrap your work around your lifestyle. (Cher Holton)
•Your children will lead the world (Brian J. Donley)

I was interviewed for two journal articles on speaking the issue times are below in the journalist kind thank you letter.

Patti,

I wanted to thank you again for the interview a couple of months back. As I had indicated, the survey was for an article on speaking I was drafting and I promised to update you on the progress of that article. Happily, the article was completed and recently accepted for publication in the coming September issue of PI Journal. I hope you will find some value in the look at independent consulting.
I was also honored to have an article appearing next month in the “Measurement Evaluation and ROI” section of ASTD’s Links Plus. That article is on the use of ROI forecasts as a sales tool for independent consultants.
Neither article would have been possible without your help - I am deeply appreciative.

Here are some great funny stories from motivational speaker Nigel
Funny quotes

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TV's for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already." -Wendy Liebman


"Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes." -Bob Thaves


"So far on my 30-day diet, I lost 18 days." - Terry McEntire


"I'm not offended by all the blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...and I also know that I'm not blonde." - Dolly Parton

have a great week and change something
all my love
Nigel


My favourite video to improve your game is linked below,I defy anyone not to understand the importance of a 1 degree shift
http://www.212movie.com/

Some of you know that I started college as a poetry writing major and then, when I was 19 discovered body language. I would love you to see the power of nonverbal communication and poetry working together is this video of a woman reciting a poem in Tehran durring teh protests in Iran. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-lundberg/poetry-of-the-revolution_b_221590.html

I am on all the social media and find it stressful to respond to someone that emails with a standard request to be a friend or have me link with them without giving me any information of who they are or how we are connected. I also don’t know the polite way to respond when I have no memory of ever having met them. I want to be kind, and I know as a professional speaker, an audiance member is sure I will remenber them so I feel rude not linking or "Friending," but if they don't say they were in my audaince I don't know.
So here are my questions for today.
First question What is the proper etiquette of requesting to “friend’ or link?
Second Question. How can you politely ask, “Who are you? and “How do I know you?”

I am a professional speaker and body language expert. I coach people to improve their interviewing skills.

I just read a blog about calling a recruiter to get a job. The writer emphasized the importance of using a story or of telling your story to help you land a job.
Yes you need to hit the emotional brain of the recruiter so they will remember you. I watch the biography channel and I constantly quote "stories" of famous people that I have heard on the show. I remember the fact because it was told in story form. In my book "Going UP!- Creating and Telling Your Elevator Speech I show readers how to create the story of their talents and strengths as they look for jobs or seek business contacts or customers. Below is a bit of the blog.
Patti Wood
Body language expert
www.PattiWood.net

bloghttp://www.careercollegecentral.com/node/943
phone calls:

“Hi Donna, I sent you my résumé last week. I was just wondering if you have any contacts in my field or job openings that fit my background. I look forward to hearing from you.”


Hmm. This is not exactly a successful networking approach, albeit common. Why are these people losing the attention of me and other recruiters? Simple. They are not selling us on why we should talk to them. They haven’t proven their value, and exactly why we should take time from our additional business obligations to read their profile. Rather, they have emailed me, and are asking me to research them, then align my job openings to their skills. Sorry, it doesn’t work that way!

The “Do’s” of Engaging with a Recruiter:

When it comes to a career search, it’s about likeability! I don’t like being told by someone whom I don’t know or trust yet to go and “do research” about them. Candidates need to get away from this informal email communication style. It may save time in their present work environment. But in this market, candidates need to get back to relationship-based selling! Networking with anyone, especially recruiters, is about talking, building rapport, and getting people to want to work on your behalf. Hopefully, it will become mutually beneficial for both parties.

So how can candidates work more effectively with recruiters? Here are a few “Smart Tips” from my viewpoint as a career coach:

Be prepared like a politician! Have your résumé smart and professionally prepared. Make strong value statements, and ensure that your accomplishments are summarized and memorized. This is not limited to sales and marketing, either. This approach needs to be followed in all industries and for all functions. Know why you are powerful to an organization and be prepared to say it.

Storytelling matters. Don’t assume the recruiter or the hiring authority understands what you do just from your title. Be prepared to succinctly tell specific stories around the accomplishments you listed in your résumé. Storytelling demonstrates your ability to communicate. It engages people, and that’s how they will remember

Oh my goodness Donald Trump is coming here to Atlanta to teach a real estate course.The man I mention whenever someone wants to know my secret to NOT shaking hands with someone. To discover how to keep from having to shake hands with someone to my body language blog and type in handshakes.

http://www.myeducationnetwork.com/fast_track_to_foreclosure_investing/GA/atlanta/47440

Sunday my 88 year old mother called to tell me that election protesters in Iran where being clubed and gassed. We were both shocked by the event. My mother said the only way the news was getting out was on that new Internet thing called tweat. I knew she met twitter. As a public speaker for the last 27 years I thought how wonderful it is that we have the freedom to speak and share our political opinions on any stage and through all media. I remembered how empty the voting booths were when I went to vote in the the last presidential election. How funny the world is.
Just now I read the story about 70 academics being arrested in Iran. I taught college and I continue to speak on college campuses at campus events. I know I wanted my students at Florida State to seek the truth to value their freedom to fight for it. Would I have been arrested today if I was a teacher in Iran?

Patti Wood
The body language expert
www.PattiWood.net

Iran: Ahmadinejad Warns Obama. 70 Academics Arrested Overnight
Hope Fades but Anger Is Alive as Iran's Rulers Crack Down

This photo released by the official website of the Iranian supreme leader's office shows Iranian supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei during his meeting with Iranian parliamentarians, unseen, in Tehran, Iran, Wednesday, June 24, 2009. Iran's supreme leader said Wednesday that the government would not give in to pressure over the disputed presidential election, effectively closing the door to compromise with the opposition. (AP Photo/Office of the Supreme Leader)


responsible for the content that you post.

Who's Blogging» Links to this discussion
Rudi Bakhtiar
Director, Public Affairs Alliance of Iranian Americans
Thursday, June 25, 2009; 12:00 PM

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad warned President Obama on Thursday to "avoid interfering" in Iranian affairs, and his security forces arrested 70 academics overnight after using clubs and tear gas Wednesday to break up demonstrations over the disputed June 12 elections.

This Story
Ahmadinejad Tells Obama Not to Interfere in Iran
Q&A, Transcript: Iran: Ahmadinejad Warns Obama. 70 Academics Arrested Overnight
Protest Met With Force Near Iran's Parliament
Iran Envoys Disinvited From July 4 Festivities
Hope Fades but Anger Is Alive as Iran's Rulers Crack Down
Iran Election Clashes Escalate
Blog: Coverage of Events in Iran
Full Coverage: Iranians Protest Presidential Election Results
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Some of you know that I speak to court reporters around the county. Well, the speaker who runs the court reporter programs is Jeff Justice and he recently shared the

Twelve Ways To Keep From Bombing

OK, I misled you a little. The only way to keep from ever bombing using humor is...Not to use it! Of course if you do not use it most likely your program will bomb. Even though no one can make your humor bomb proof I promise you that if you follow my twelve ways to keep from bombing you will have the best chance of hitting a home run with your humor.

1. Never announce that you are going to do a joke.
2. Never apologize for telling a joke.
3. Prepare.
4. Make sure the joke is relevant to your subject. Never force humor on your audience
5. Never do sexist, ethnic, religious, political, racist jokes or blue humor.
6. Never embellish or stretch out a joke.
7. Always research your audience.
8. Make sure your punch line is delivered clearly and with energy.
9. Don't laugh all the way through telling the joke.
10. Never put down the city you're in or the group you're talking to.
11. Add some humor that pokes fun at yourself.
12. Make sure you make a connection between

I was just reading a post on Speakernet news about Handling a Noisy or Chatty Audience — Liz Pearson (liz@lizpearson.com) I just changed my speaker introduction and for the first time in 27 years I ask the person introducing me to say, "

Before, I introduce our speaker. Let me share with you that this is going to be a terrific program. High energy, lots of information and interaction.
To create an optimum learning environment please be respectful of everyone in the program. Please respect those around you. Please turn off your cell phone, blackberries, and other electronic devices and so that you don't disturb others learning experience please do not use them durring the presentation. Here is advice on
Page Sponsors
How to sponsor this page

5/18/2007

I am a dietitian. There is one part in my seminar where I talk about the fat and calorie content of specific fast food meals. Almost without fail, when I get to this section, people in the audience begin to talk among themselves. It is not that they have lost interest in my presentation, but they are so amazed by some of the numbers that they want to talk about it with their neighbor. Do you have any tips or suggestions on how to prevent the talking from starting in the first place or how to handle if well once it does start? It really disrupts the flow of my presentation.


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— Jim Cathcart

I think you have hit upon a strength rather than a problem when you generate a strong buzz among the attendees. Your topic is obviously fascinating and personally relevant enough that they want to talk about it. So let them!

Plan their talking into your presentation. Assume it will happen and allow for it.

Find out from them what they are talking about specifically, then structure that into a general question or three, and at that moment in your presentation, just say, "Now let’s talk about how this relates personally to you. Since you will be discussing this among yourselves, I’ll notify you when the discussion time is up and I’ll continue with the presentation. Let’s take X minutes and talk with your neighbors about xxxx,yyyy,zzzz." You can even debrief them by asking for insights, unanswered questions, etc. that others would be interested in.

This can become the highlight of your talk.


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— Don Schmincke

Don’t stop it, use it. Speakers strive for audience participation methods. You’ve got one!

Just intro it as an exercise — something like "take a couple minutes to share with your neighbor any "aha’s" that just came up for you...." Then, bring them back and ask for a few audience sharings. This sets you up to segue into the next segment but now THEY are the ones that opened it. And you can link back to their responses as appropriate in the next segment.


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— Linda Keith

Consider saying at the outset, "I know you’ll want to talk with your neighbor about some of these so help me out by only listening first so I can get through the list...then I’ll give you a few minutes to compare notes with your neighbor."


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— Rebecca Morgan

Since you know this is a section that gets them talking, I would capitalize on that. I’d either have them pair up and give them 30 seconds to guess the amount of fat in a Big Mac, or get the group to respond, giving a prize (could be yummy, healthy food) for the first one to guess right.

My philosophy is to ride the horse in the direction it’s moving! And they are engaged, which is a very good thing!


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— Don Varney

It absolutely can be unnerving and disrupting to your flow as a speaker. Having said that remember we are there for them. Also humor is just one way to get around it. Smiling and saying when you all are through let me know and I will give you even more impressive stats and information. Keep smiling. It is important never to harass or insult your audience but I have found a smile is truly worth a thousand words when getting control back. Have fun with it and you will be amazed at how quickly they respond.


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— Kathy Reiffenstein

If they’re going to talk anyway, put yourself back in charge — plan an interlude where they can talk about the calories they didn’t realize were in what they’ve eaten! You will want to adjust the set-up to what you have to say so this will work. Say you will give them a discussion assignment, as soon as you’ve explained enough so they can do it. After your set-up, let them chat for 2-3 minutes in twos or threes, with a charge from you. Have the group discuss among themselves in 2’s and 3’s to identify the highest calorie meal they’ve had in the last week.

Then you take back center stage to find out the highest calorie meal in the room. You ask everyone who’s had a 1500 or more calorie meal (as a full-day amount) in the last week to stand, then go to 2000, 2500 calories, etc. until only one person is standing. Then ask the person to tell what the meal consisted of and how many calories it must have been. Then ask, "So — in 25 words or less — when will you be having this meal again ... and WHY?"

Make them answer, sure to generate chuckles. You could do something similar with the highest fat meal. If you do this smoothly and quickly, it will take about 5 minutes, and then they can settle as you go on from there.


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— Diana Royce Smith

One way to manage the disruption might be to involve your audience before they start talking among themselves. For example, rather than giving them the calories and fat content, ask them to turn to their neighbor and "guess" what the numbers are for specific fast food meals. Then you could say something like...how many think x meal has 500 calories, raise your hand...how many think 750 (or whatever breaks are relative). This way the audience gets to interact with the information in a productive way, and will perhaps be more likely to "pay attention" when you tell them the real data. And remember, even though their talking is a bit disruptive, it shows that they are engaged with your presentation!


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— Steve Hughes

I have similar trouble in my seminars (usually after a small group exercise). Here are three ideas to consider.

Prepare them. As you introduce this "discussion-inducing" portion of your program, warn the audience that they’ll be tempted to discuss it with the folks around them, but that you want to honor their time and keep the presentation on track. This won’t eliminate the problem completely, but you’ll be clearly establishing your expectations for the audience up front. I always say maintain your leadership from the platform by setting the guidelines and your audience will be more likely to follow you. It’s the old adage "leave nothing to chance."
Give in. If they’re going to chat about the subject no matter what, go ahead and let them talk among themselves for 2-5 minutes (assuming you have time set aside for this in your program). I liken your problem to what school teachers face during the first snow of the year. I say let the students "ooh" and "aah" at the window for a few minutes to satisfy some of their natural curiosity. Then, once they get it out of their system, they’ll be more willing to go back to their desks to continue with their schoolwork.
Snap ’em out of it. Bring a hotel bellhop / lunch counter bell to the lectern and "ding" it several times in rapid succession. These bells make a fun (non-annoying) sound that quickly gets everyone’s attention. The instant the room goes silent after hearing the bell, jump in and say whatever you want to keep them on track.

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— Kare Anderson

Turn this into an opportunity to bond people with each other around you and your topic. Example: set them up to talk, then to want to tell you something: "Now I’m going to give you some facts that will frankly shock you. (pause)

"In fact, I’ve discovered that most people have an unstoppable urge to talk about these facts right after they hear them. (pause)

"So I know I can’t stop you (smiling by the way now) so I just ask you, after you hear what I’m going to tell you turn these facts into a positive opportunity to change your life, starting today. (pause)

"So, instead of expressing shock and dismay, I want you to turn to a person nearly you, hopefully the most normal-acting and tell that person one specific thing you are going to do differently since you’ve received this news.

"Ready? Ok. Here goes.... here’s the facts that you are going to use make your life better. .... (now say each one as a flat, short statement... building up to the most surprising."

Then say, "Now turn and tell that person what YOU are going to do differently."


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— Harriet Meyerson

Since they want to talk anyway, divide them into groups of 5-7 people and give each group the nutritional information from one fast food meal. Give them specific things to look for or discover about the meal. Let them discuss it and then each group can select a spokesman to report to the group what they discovered. That gives them a hands on experience, gives them the opportunity to chat, and then they will listen more attentively to their co-participants when they speak. (If you have a very large group, you may want to have the spokesman use a mike.)

Or, you can have a quiz or game of some type for them to write the answers to, and the answers will be in your presentation so they will have to listen better.


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— Steve Kaye

If people do something, it usually means that they want to do it. So, here’s an idea.

Go into this point by announcing that you have some info that everyone will want to talk about. So, you are going to let them do that. And first, they need to hear your instructions because you will ask them for their results afterwards. Then give part of your info.

And then launch a project that requires them to talk about it with some focus. For example, you could ask them to discuss how this have affected others in their lives. Or how it has affected them. Or how they will use the info to improve their lives. Or be creative, letting them guess the next points that you plan to make.

This sets them up to be the stars in your show.


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— Beryl Shaw

I’d suggest your best way to stop this is to solicit feedback e.g. "How many calories do you think would be in --------?" Take a few responses. That way they’re talking to YOU not others.

Making your presentations interactive is always more inspiring and involving for audiences anyway. I hardly ever do just a straight "talk" without any interaction. When people point out that everyone was awake and aware and taking notice, I just respond with, "Yes. No one sleeps through MY presentations." Of course I smile when I say it and we laugh together.


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— Rita M. Risser Chai

The best thing that can happen to you is people get interested and start talking about your talk! I would set it up. First I would show the list of foods and ask them to write down the number of calories they think they are. (You can tell them there will be a prize for the person who gets closest — the prize being your book). Then say, "I’m going to show you the real calories. Check your answers and then discuss with one or two people on either side of you and see who got the closest." Give them 1 minute, then ring a bell (I use meditation chimes) and ask, "How many of you were surprised by these numbers?"

"How many not surprised?" "I want you to add up the difference between what you guessed and the real numbers. "Who got the closest to guessing the number of calories?" This will make it so much more interesting for audience members and good for you, too.


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— Betty Cooper

You see you have to set your listeners up to listen to you the way YOU want them to listen. And do right up front. It can be at the beginning of your presentation or when you get to this topic (or any other place where you want people to listen to you instead of each other). Say something like this: "I want to turn now to a diet area we all talk about all the time. As soon as I bring up the topic I know that’s what could happen here! You’ll want to talk about it with your neighbor. Before you do that I’d like to ask for your help. I have some basic information I want to share first: Then I’d like to open it up so we can all share our knowledge on this really important health topic. At time I really want you to ask questions or share your knowledge. Can we do that? Thanks." Then you tell them the topic; AND quickly start with a shocker right up front (such as "Do you know how many calories are in that Starbucks coffee you’re drinking in the morning while you’re trying to cut calories but cutting out a healthy breakfast?") or some other example.


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— Bill Hodges

What I do when the audience buzzes is this, and I always keep a smile in my voice: "From the buzz in the room I can see that what I have said is so important to you that you find it hard to discuss it with your neighbor. But keep in mind that what I am about to discuss may be of even greater importance to you and if you are talking about what I said you will miss what I say."

I use variations of this and have been very successful.


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— Paul Radde

Seems like a good thing frankly. Defer: Give them 3x5 cards to fill out with questions and comments. Refer to them at the beginning of your talk. Say, "I will be giving you some information that you will want to discuss and pose questions about. So, to make sure we cover your concerns, please fill out the 3x5 card with your comments and questions. We’ll get to them at the end of my presentation."


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— Allan Hardman

How about building in a 5-minute moment for them to share with each other about their amazement. That way it goes with their flow instead of "interrupting" you. You get to relax, listen to what some of them are saying, and use that for the next part of your talk.


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— Lisa Braithwaite

I don’t know how much time you have in your presentation, but I suggest turning this into an interactive activity to take advantage of the fact that your audience wants to talk.

Break them into small groups or have them partner with the person sitting next to them and give them a brief activity related to what you’re talking about. The activity could be something like having them calculate the calories they took in from fast food over the past week and share it within their group. Or give them a handout that has calorie and fat content from different fast food chain menus and have each group come up with the healthiest meal they can put together in five minutes. I’m sure you can think of better ideas, but you see where I’m going with this.

The fact that your audience gets excited and wants to talk during this portion of your presentation means they’re engaged. I would take advantage of their interest and not try to squash it.


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— Doug Rice

You said this was a seminar, not a keynote or other speech, so why not go with it? They need to process the information somehow and you appear to have plenty of evidence that the preferred method is to discuss it with others, so make it a part of the seminar. Either break them into groups or just have them talk with their neighbors for a few minutes. Then bring them back to you by asking for feedback about their discussion. Doesn’t need to take very long and you can probably make some key points about it. For some this will show your in tune with the needs of the audience, and at least your not fighting it.

I don’t see why this has to be a negative that is stopped. If that is what most of them feel the need to do, go with it and use it to your advantage. After all, it’s about them. :-)


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— Brian Walsh

Their interest makes this a perfect opportunity for a process. Here is how I would handle it. Tell them to listen carefully to the stats that you are about to give them, because you will be asking them to discuss these with partners. This will prevent them from spontaneously beginning on their own. When the time comes, say, "You will have one minute to share your thoughts on this. Find one or two partners to ..." I always say "one or two partners" to save time. Pairs often have leftover people, and it’s a hassle matching up the loners.


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— Michael Lee

I’m sure you are going to get lots of great ideas about how to quiet an audience like, "Clap once if you can hear my voice, clap twice if you can hear my voice, clap three times if you can hear my voice," etc.

The point I wanted to make is that if your audiences always seem to want to talk amongst themselves at a certain point in your program LET THEM! Aren’t we there for our audiences??? Instead of being frustrated, why not build a five-minute discussion period at this point in your program. Audience members can introduce themselves to each other and discuss the issue at hand. It’s your choice whether you want to debrief or not but it will re-energize the whole room. This is particularly valuable in the afternoons following lunch or when there hasn’t been a lot of interaction previously. In other words, "Go with the flow!"


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— Alan Campbell

In my other life as a teacher, I learned to not see situations like this not as a problem but as a suggestion that I change my presentation/teaching manner. Could you build this in as a timed discussion in terms of the most surprising information and have the participants give feedback?


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— Mina Bancroft

I recommend playing to the comments. You’re supposed to get the audience worked up. This is a golden opportunity. Tell the audience up front that there are astounding numbers coming. Give them paper and pencil to write the numbers down...this will keep them quiet initially....then ask them to write the names of the people who also need to know about this health risk. Of course, have your name and access info on the paper.

Or tell them to give a "group gasp" as a joke before you start.... say you get so worked up about these risks, you might get fat and stressed just saying them. Then keep reeling off the numbers so peer pressure will keep people quiet. If they start talking anyway, channel that shock and noise into something constructive. "Telling your seat mate won’t help...who outside of this room needs to know this?" Ask them what they can do in their own school districts, homes, offices to get the word out. You might offer a chat room on your website for comments from people. End with a call to action that includes telling outsiders about what they have heard. Start a grass roots blog or petition to send to fast food chains or congress. You can then send them to your website for updates or use the comments made on evaluation sheets to compile a master list of suggestions which you send to any one who asks about it. Put their suggestions into a newsletter...all these will keep the audience coming back to contact with you which can lead to more business.

If your approach is not interactive, make it so. Allow time for them to break into small groups to brainstorm actions...then poll the groups for a master list. Capitalize on the emotion you have stirred.


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— Dana Bristol-Smith

You’ve got a great opportunity here. Build an interactive exercise into your program here. Tell them to share with their neighbor — or put them in groups of 3 to answer your question. Something like this "What is your favorite fast food meal? How many calories do you think it has? How much fat, etc. Then once they have finished — give them your numbers. You can bring a bell or chime to use to get their attention back after the exercise. Have fun with this.


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— Tom Lagana

Since you know that your groups like to talk with each other during this part of your presentation, how about making that a group exercise? That way your audience can talk together for several minutes, then a spokesperson from each small group can share. In the process, you may learn something. If your audiences are very large, the groups could still share among each other without a spokesperson.


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— Debbie Fay

When they start talking, you stop talking. DO NOT try and shout over them. Simply stand there, nod and smile. Very quickly they will realize they are keeping you from continuing. You may even acknowledge their incredulity as you resume your speech. Something short like, "I know, incredible, isn’t it?" or "Scary stuff, I know. And what’s even more disturbing..." You get the idea. The good news is you are obviously talking about something of interest to your audience. Your confident silence will let them know you’re in control.


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— Lynda Kavanagh

Put them into groups for discussion and have each group come up with one idea that they can do to change... something or have them discuss this in a relation to your speech. Have a little noise maker to bring them back to you. This really only needs to take up 10 minutes of your session but it also breaks up the "lecture." Chances are this is the part of the speech they will remember the most.


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— George Torok

Don’t fight the trend. Instead take advantage of it. Use the energy. Just before you get to the point where you give the scary details, say this, "You are about to here some very scary numbers. Before I tell you this information quickly pick a scary number partner. Ok. You have your partner. Listen carefully to this information. Then when I say go — tell your partner the first thing that comes to your mind. Then let your partner speak. Discuss the significance. Do it quickly because you have 60 seconds. At the end of 60 seconds I will call time and ask to hear from a few of you."


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— Kathy Lynn

I’d make the conversation part of your presentation. You could ask them group for examples and get a general total group thing going or have them speak at their tables with a specific question like "What is the last fast food you ate?" or some such discussion. The good news is that they are engaged and you can adjust your flow. Once they have spoken together, have a quick debrief and use that as your transition to your next material.


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— Resli Costabell

Fantastic that you’ve got them energised and talking! It’s a blessing, not a curse.

I suggest you let them get it out of their systems. People learn more and remember more from talking it over themselves, than they learn from listening to us. (I still find this fact vaguely painful for the ego...) I might go with the flow by deadpanning, "Please take exactly 60 seconds to turn to the person next to you and express your shock and outrage. Ready, go!" Then I’d break eye contact and start staring at my stopwatch. I’d probably use body language to indicate, "yes, I really mean for you to talk now."

Or I might go with the flow by joining them in their emotional state. Step to one side, as if you’re part of the audience, and shout, "Holy Guacamole, Batman, those numbers are outrageous! I require 60 seconds to express my astonishment!" Then I’d step, hold up my stopwatch, and quietly say, "Go ahead and have a quick chat about these figures, with the person next to you. In fact, I’m feeling generous — instead of 60 seconds, take 61."


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— Kelley Robertson

I have experienced something similar in one of my programs and have found that giving people time to discuss it has helped. Once they have had the opportunity to discuss the "numbers" they will be ready to pay attention again. It may be disruptive to you, but remember that your audience will benefit from it. Plus, it gets them involved which makes your presentation more interactive, more enjoyable, and more memorable. It may mean that you have to cut a portion of your presentation but I have found that less is more. To prevent the talking you can tell people up front that they may feel compelled to discuss the next topic. However, time doesn’t permit such a discussion. The drawback with this approach is that people may still talk during your presentation. The first approach is much more effective.


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— Carol Pierce

Congratulations on grabbing your audience’s attention in ways that truly excite them!

Plan your presentation so a short period is allowed for audience interaction at those points which open themselves to people bursting at the seams to discuss those amazing facts you’ve just revealed. Your audience becomes even more involved and empowered, and you can then request pertinent feedback concerning their own conclusions about your comments. By letting your audience know how much time they have to interact and how they will know that time is up, you’re preparing them to become listeners at the appropriate time and "discussers" in their own right at the proper time...win/win for everyone...and an even more rewarding, more informative seminar all the way around.

As a former classroom teacher who now presents small and large group programs, this technique always results in even more valuable information being shared by everyone, not just by me as the professional who is their presenter.


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— Nancy Stern

I think you are making a mistake by not listening to your customers...if the want to talk about this then why not create a three-minute exercise...talk to your partner about your reaction to this (or whatever) then ask for a couple of people to share with the whole group. We live in a world where listening only is a thing of the past...include interaction activities...audiences love it.


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— Laurent Duperval

If you know your audience will chat at specific time, two things you can do:

Precall it: "I am going to talk about something that will make all of you want to chat... right now! Please hold off a little bit until I have completed the section."
Let them loose: prepare an exercise immediately following that section that will let them discuss it and share with their partners. And if you can, let them share with the whole audience what they learned or how they feel about the information you provided.
If you can combine the two, that would be even better.


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— Andrew Sanderbeck

From the tone of your question "it really interrupts the flow of my presentation", I’m not sure that you see the gift that is being given to you. I would take that part of the material and turn it into an exercise. For example, put them into small groups and have them discuss and make a list of the fast foods that they like and or eat regularly. When they have their list completed. give them the information about caloric content and a calculator and let them add up their caloric totals. Ask them for feedback about their totals. Laugh with them, share their shock and amazement! Give calorie counters (or other prizes) to the groups with the biggest totals. Over the years I have learned that doing presentations is not about me talking and others listening...its about a shared experience. Fortunately, you have an audience that wants to share with you and others.


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— Michael Podolinsky

Frankly, this is a non-problem and a real joy! Tell them just before this section that you are going to give them a chance to discuss it in a moment but just to please wait until it is all presented. Then put them in groups and give them just 5 minutes to ’buzz’ on it. Walk throughout the crowd and ask them for specific comments. OR, just ask them questions or for responses you can predict like, How many of you were most shocked about the Oriental chicken salad statistic? Who will no longer eat at McDonalds? What was the number one shock or ’ah ha’ in your group? Now they are responding to YOU and you have them back. The fact you let them talk wakes them up and they like you more and think you are a better ’speaker’. Statistically, if we don’t engagement with something like this be it a question or a group interaction every 10 minutes, their minds go on ’screen saver’. My mantra is, "The day of the ’talking head’ is dead." When you speak to the meeting planner afterward, commenting, "Wow... this group really got into the subject. Did you see they way they participated? Next time I speak, I’ve got something that will get them buzzing even more!"


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— Alan Black

Audience talking....good thing or a bad thing. Consider turning that portion of your presentation into an AUDIENCE INVOLVEMENT exercise.

Team them up in pairs, triads or small groups of 4 or 5 prior to covering that part of your presentation
Explain that in 5 minutes or a set amount of time you will collect examples or samples of the points made in the pairs, triads, groups.
Have a device or process/procedure for getting their attention back that you have pre-told them you will use... bell, buzzer, raising of your hand. I have found that audiences want to get involved and they will talk about topics that really impact them. Award/reward things that are shared...prizes, stickers, applause, etc.


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— Tom Justin

I’ve used a couple of techniques that have worked well. Actually more, but only a couple that I’m willing to admit. I’ll just stand center stage, looking out at the audience. If someone tries to engage me in conversation, I’ll just smile and wave them down with a nod. If I have a hand mic, I’ll simply lower it while I’m looking out at the audience. If there’s a stool, I’ll sit and watch quietly. After a short time, the audience realizes that nothing is going on on the stage, and when they see me standing, patiently, they usually get it. Things can quiet down fast. It takes patience, but it works. . .most of the time.

A couple times, right after an exercise, the group was excited, laughing and just wouldn’t settle. I began to hum into the mic, the Battle Hymn of The Republic. If you have a hand or podium mic, going right into it helps. When people finally settle, I tell them that song is appropriate, since we obviously have a Civil War going on. It gets a laugh.

I’ve done some other really wild things. They worked but I don’t or won’t recommend them for fear of being shunned by the entire community.


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— Mari Smith

First, you say the chatter happens without fail. So, I would suggest building in a break or interactive activity right at that point. Actually encourage the chatter, rather than try to quell it. Perhaps a hand out with fast-food meals and the participants have to chat with their neighbor to guess the fat/calorie content. Maybe a contest for whoever guesses closest on a specific item. Something like this could work in only about 3 minutes or so and would be a nice energy boost to your talk. I usually find the room comes alive with interactive activities.

Second, you could preempt the chatter by saying every audience you speak to wants to talk at this point but you respectfully request they resist as it disrupts the important information you have to share.

Third, a technique that T. Harv Eker uses effectively to quiet noisy audiences is a simple "shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Keep doing it until there is quiet. This is most effective when you set up and maintain that context from the getgo — e.g. as soon as there is chatter, quietly say "shhh" and each time. The audience will get trained.


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— Wendy Keller

There’s a place when I share dire statistics about getting a book published and what an agent sees in a typical month/year that always causes them to fall apart — talking, stunned, scribbling, whatever. I know the feeling. To regain control, I wait a few beats and let them quiet down — like a teacher would do in school — and then I ask them to raise their hand if they found it shocking....and to raise two if they found it TOTALLY SHOCKING! (I raise my voice for the second half of the question). Typically, because I am engaging them in every modality — auditory, kinesthetic, and visual — I get their full attention back.



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SpeakerNet News is produced by Rebecca Morgan and Ken Braly. It is not affiliated with the National Speakers Association. Send comments or suggestions

Today an author who is writing a book about "reunions" with lost loved ones asked me to share the story of my friend Roy.
We Were Like Twin Souls, Accepting Each Other Down to the Core

I would bring back my best friend Roy Moyer. He died of AIDS 21 years ago, at the age of 29. We met at freshman orientation at Florida State University in Tallahassee, in 1976. I looked across the room and saw this tall, handsome Nordic blond guy. I said to myself: ‘There is my life’s best friend.” We became like brother and sister, closer even: like twin souls.
For years, we did everything together. We giggled and laughed and disco danced through the seventies. We were housemates our senior year; we fixed hundreds of awesome dinners together; we shopped and traveled together, and we shared our inner most feelings and experiences. In fact sharing something with Roy was often the best part of a new event in my life and hearing something wonderful that Roy experienced made me as happy as it made him.

Roy was warm and funny, goofy and silly in a Dudley Doo Right kind of way. He was kind and loving and generous and had a deep full laugh that was contagious. We accepted each other down to the core. Someone loving you that much made you feel loved absolutely. Roy taught me that people showed their love in different ways even saying Patti when I fix your broken necklace I am showing I love you when I reach something from a high shelf for you I am showing that I love you and I know when you have my favorite big BLT fixed for me at lunch you are loving me when you let me sing off key through a long car ride you’re showing that you love me.
We were tender and affectionate with one another always hugging each other and cuddling on the couch, but not in a sexual way. I was not attracted to him, which worked well as he was gay. Instead, we completed each other.

After college, he moved to Atlanta and became a social worker. I went to Auburn University to pursue a Master’s degree, and then returned to Tallahassee to begin a Ph.D. program. Roy and I where as close as ever. We talked for hours on our weekly phone calls and visited each other every few months.
I lived in a small town where I couldn't’t go shopping without running into someone I knew. Roy and I were so close that when my friends in Tallahassee would see me they would always ask, “How are you?” “How is Roy?”

I had a four-bedroom house with a big fenced-in yard that my dog would play in. I took martial arts classes, and I had a group of friends that were like a second family. I had a steady boyfriend. I’d eat grape nuts for breakfast and joke with my roommate about our crazy dream from the night before. I’d start my day singing in the shower and then get in my car singing along with the songs on my radio and go to work.

I had my own consulting company and taught communication at Florida State; my class in nonverbal communication had 150 students enrolled each semester. I was living a happily-ever-after existence, and Roy always a part of me and me always a part of him was so very happy too.

When we were both 29 Roy and I were walking in Atlanta’s Piedmont Park his big 6’2 frame towering above my petite two inches. It was a beautiful spring day as we circled the lake and I was blissfully breathing the fragrant flowered air. As we rounded a curve, Roy stopped, brushed back his blond hair, turned toward me and said, “Patti, I’m dying.”

I heard a loud gut-wrenching scream crying “No!” echo across the lake. It took me a moment to realize the scream was mine.

In that moment, everything in my life began to change. I knew with certainty I had to move to Atlanta to be with Roy. I didn’t ask him if he wanted me to come, I just decided. People thought I was crazy. But it was really selfish – I just had to be with him.

Within a few days, my boyfriend had broken up with me - he was afraid of being infected from my innocent friendship with Roy - and I began getting rid of my belongings. I sold almost everything in the house down to the bare walls. I took the cash and left my house, my friends, and my speaking business. I took a job as at temp receptionist in Atlanta to make ends meet, exchanging a $500-a-day speaking life for a $6.50-an-hour wage. Instead of being treated with respect and admiration, I was treated like a servant.

I took a small apartment and fitfully slept on a borrowed mattress on the floor of my closet. I was alone in a city filled with strangers. I would visit Roy every day he was in the hospital and sit on the edge of his bed, holding his hand. And though Roy and I would laugh as we always did, our jokes were about the glove-wearing hospital staff that tried to avoid touching him, his new free hospital gown wardrobe with built in”ties in back” air-conditioning and about his new easy diet plan, we called “Wendy’s drive through” a drip from a stand above his bed when he could no longer eat.

Over the year I watched him decline, he went from a being a strapping six foot 2 inch man to an emaciated 90-pounds that I could carry in my arms. I would return home each night, take a shower and weep uncontrollably. My sleep was filled with concentration camp filled nightmares. I saw Roy lose his ability to first walk, then to eat, then to remember, to speak and finally his ability to breathe.

Roy died in July before his 30th birthday. I could not believe that the world would keep spinning without that sweet boy. I could not believe that I didn’t die too. I was so surprised that I could actually go on breathing without him. His family insisted I have his ashes. He told me before he died he wanted me to have them so he could come to my wedding.

The reunion I envision would start out with just for the two of us. We would walk around his beloved Piedmont Park in Atlanta. As we walked, we’d catch up on each other’s news. We’d laugh about him never getting older than 29 and the fact that I, at 50, was still a tiny blond.

We would cry over having missed so many dinners and trips with each other. I’d tell him about the speaking practice I rebuilt after he died. I’d express regret that I haven’t yet married, so don’t yet have a son I can name Roy. I’d tell him how sorry I am that his sickness prevented him from marrying the man he loved, who later also died of AIDS.

Then we’d go for dinner at one of his favorite restaurants. He loved fine foods. We’d meet up with friends after dinner and go dancing together until the wee hours.

And I’d thank him for being the best friend in the world to me, for making my life so much richer through the gift of his unconditional love.
--Patti Wood, 50, Atlanta, GA, motivational speaker and consultant on nonverbal

Here is a link to a fun article on concentration.
http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/Features/Columns/?article=ConcentrationIsKey>1=27004

The Preview Frame is the agenda or table of contents for your speech.
Many speakers that are in my public speaking workshops or that I coach one on one have problems rambling on and on in their speeches. Sometimes they get pulled off topic by a question, sometimes they meander from the content of a slide to something they find interesting. What ever causes a speaker to go "off point" the solution is to create a easy method to stay on point. So when you write and give your speech make sure you have a set of main points that support your purpose sentence. The ideal number is three. (see my other blog entry on the power of three) These main points are the outline or agenda of your speech. Following the metaphor in my book Easy Speaking that building a speech is like building a house the main points are the frame work or the house. You state it in the introduction of the speech to give a preview of "coming attractions."

 The is the structure of the house. A preview reveals the presentation’s main points and the order in which they will go. The best way to do this is to say the number of the points out loud so people can easily divide the chunks of information and follow them throughout the speech.
 For shorter presentations:
 “You’ll walk out of here with three ways to prioritize your time.” “When we finish this session, you will be able to list the four most effective public relations techniques.”
 Today you will learn the three benefits of our product.
 For long presentations say what those points will be.
 “. . . And to do this, first, you’ll learn about the early history of the organization; second, of its rapid development; third, about its present stature; and finally, about its prospects for the future.”

A Six Word Speech

One of my professional groups for speakers is having a contest. The object is to create six word speeches. Yep that is correct write your speech using only six words. So off the top of my head here are a few of mine.

Body Language – Read people from the outside in.
Sales – Tell me why I should buy?
Speaking – Inspire me to listen to you
Speaking – Connect your thoughts to listeners lives

I think this is a great exercise for you when you are writing a speech. What is the purpose? What is the objective of your speech? What is the point you want everyone to know? Now write it in six words.

How do you "gently" sell your books as a speaker?

I have several books and my own publishing company, “Another Day Publishing.” My best sales technique is to pre-sale books to the client so they can give them to all the audience members when I give a speech.
If I don’t pre-sale I tie my signings to my speeches and that works very very well. I find I get more people that will come up and buy a book and have me sign it if I stay up at the front of the room and stand so I have a table at the front of the room and I stay near it and sign standing. When you are hidden behind a table your more difficult to approach and ask questions. I am a touchy feely person, it's not surprise I am a body language expert after all. I notice that I naturally reach out and touch the forearm of people as they come towards me to ask a question so they feel comfortable self disclosing and magically that seems to increase purchases from those people. I also have my books on CD which are big sellers for commuters, people don’t always want to read. If I offer a book and a CD of the book at a discount that sells very well.

I also sell very well on line buy doing free tele-seminars and offering the book at a discount if they buy it that day with a special code. I send out a monthly newsletter an occasionally I offer a extra free book if they buy my body language book. Other things that work well for me I do a lot of media interviews and I have all print media list me as author Success Signals and having TV put up the photo of the book. My best sales week was when I was on a History Channel Special the second was when I did a interview on O'Reilly Factor on Sara Palin's body language.
I have been approached several times by major publishers to do a book because this media platform works so well.

Patti Wood, MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Phone-404-315-7397
Web- http://www.pattiwood.net/
Blog- http://www.http://www.bodylanguagelady.com/ .com

So I just gave you tips to stop bad breath and then I read a great article on what to do with someone with bad table manners. Here is the link to Askabacholor.
Guess who’s coming to dinner?When table manners go seriously wrong
By Blane Bachelor
I recently broke up with my ex, but was wondering something. The whole time we were dating, I couldn't stand the noises he made when he ate. He was so loud I would have to turn up the television. It was like he was inhaling his food and couldn’t eat fast enough. I obviously didn’t break up with him because of this, but it grossed me out and definitely got on my nerves. What is a tactful way to tell your partner when something like this bothers you? I never said anything, so it just got more and more annoying each time he did it. —Desperately Seeking Earplugs During DinnerThere’s no easy way to tell someone he has the table manners of Jabba the Hutt. But sitting in silence—well, except for all the smacking and slurping—is no way to go either. Next time you come across this problem, here are a couple of options: The Gentle Route: Prepare a nice dinner, light some candles and turn off the damn TV already. When you set the scene for romance and lingering, it’s harder to let manners fall by the wayside. The Not-So-Gentle Route: Several strategies could work here. Tell him, straight up, that he needs to learn the difference between eating and feeding. Discreetly set up a laptop with the webcam running while he’s chowing down, and play the evidence for him later. Listen to your iPod during dinner. Mimic his habits, amplifying them in volume and intensity, throwing in a few burps, snorts and hand-wipes-across the face in for good measure, until he gets the picture. Finally, warn him his vile manners are not only making you lose your appetite, but your sex drive, too. The Out-the-Door Route: If you’ve talked about it, and he doesn’t care enough about his self-image to change (remind him about the impression he’s making at a business lunch), I see no reason why you wouldn’t break up with someone over this. Food is a central part of our lives, and you shouldn’t have to suffer through Slurpfest ’09 at every meal. SPFreelance writer and columnist Blane Bachelor doles out dating and relationship advice in this space most every week. Submit your questions at www.askabachelor

I have a longer post on bad breath and the social meaning on my body language sight, but a media source today was seeing more cures and preventatives so here is my list again for all the speakers out there.

There are long lists of things to do to prevent bad breath from eating lots of fruits and veggies, chewing your food thoroughly to release the enzymes the clean your teeth of bacteria, chewing sugarless gum (this also helps you release teeth cleaning enzymes.) swirling water in your mouth after you eat out to get rid of food particles. (works well if you don’t have a tooth brush), to brushing the backside of your teeth and the top of your tongue, and flossing with mint floss.
There are also a lot of remedies if you think you have bad breath, from eating parsley ( a great natural remedy) to gargling all the way in the back of your throat. Make sure your gargle does not contain alcohol that dries the tissue and increases bad breath or sugar. Make sure if you have bad breath that it is not a sign of illness.
I am a body language expert and the former National spokes person for the Natural Dentist a line of dental care products and I have done research on smiling and the effect of dental health and how people respond to others. Don’t forget the silent message of good breath.

I am one of the luckiest people on the planet. I use to do “shows” as a kid. I would be Herman of the Hermits and sing and dance with my friends and I was Queen of the Cooties on the playground and was the leader of all the games, whether it was who can make the biggest bubble with the bubble maker, built the best fort, or who can make the snowman that last the longest (doesn’t melt first) From forth grade on I also loved to watch people and I would write little poems and songs about what I saw, I carried a little notebook with me all the time from forth grade till college and filled it with my fun observations. And even learned to play the guitar so I could sing them. I loved playing and I loved the game of watching people and trying to figure out their secret story. Now I get to do it all my favorite play as living. I am a body language expert. (I actually have degrees in nonverbal communication.) And I am a professional speaker and trainer and get to play interactive games with my audience. (See my website for videos of how much fun we have.)

Take Care,

Patti

Patti Wood MA, CSP
The Body Language Expert
Keynotes & Communication Training
Contact us at our new # 404-315-7397
Email Us: Patti@PattiWood.net
Website: www.PattiWood.net
Blog: www.BodyLanguageLady@blogspot.com
U-Tube: www.utube/com/user/bodylanguageexpert
For Free Body Language & Other Communication Tip, Click Here!

Here is a rough of story I wrote quite awhile ago to give in a speech, but realized I wasn't ready to share. I am thinking of working on it again.
Once upon a time I was living happily ever after. I wake up in a four bedroom house with a big fenced in backyard that my dog would play in. I eat grape nuts for breakfast and joke with my roommate about our latest crazy dream the night before, get in my car singing with all the songs on the radio and go to work. I had my own consulting comply and taught communication at Florida state one of my class nonverbal communication classes was incredibly popular with 150 students enrolled every semester. I lived in a small town where I couldn’t go shopping without running into someone I know and share hug. I dance down the corridors at school and the sidewalks of my town meet everyone with heartfelt smile. And I had the best, “Best Friend” in the world Roy who I incredibly close to. I was Polly reincarnated. It was nauseating. In the evenings I would work on my books our go to my nightly martial arts class with a group of friends that was like a my second family. I shared much of my time with a sweet and brilliant boyfriend. I was blessed with deep friend ships were I felt loved and could give my love freely. Snow white and Cinderella had nothing on me I was truly living happily ever after.

I went On a trip to see my best friend Roy in Atlanta. We met at freshman orientation. I looked across the room coming from this tall Nordic blonde guy and said to myself, ‘There is my life’s best friend. We were like brother and sister ever since. We were so close that friends called us twin.. We did everything together for years, we disco danced through the seventies, were housemates are senior year, fixed hundreds of awesome dinners together, shopped and traveled together, and always were excited to share the best thing that happened to us since we saw each other last. In face sometimes sharing something with Roy was the best part of a new event in my life Friends refereed to Roy as my twin. We were truly like twin souls. Roy and I, took a walk around Piedmont park. It was a beautiful spring day as we circled the lake and I was blissful breathing the fragrant flowered air. As we rounded the curve Roy brushed back his blonde hair and looked me and said. “Patti I’m dying.” I heard a scream echo across the lake. A loud gut wrenching scream crying no.! It took me a moment to realize the scream was mine.
In that moment everything in my life began to change. I knew with certainty I had to move to Atlanta to be with Roy.

Within a few days my boyfriend had broken up with me and I had told everyone I would be coming back next year to teach. Within a few months, I had sold almost everything in my house down to the bare walls took the cash left my house my friends my speaking business. I took a job as at temp receptionist and went from my past 600 dollar a day speaking to making six dollars and fifty cents. instead of the love respect and admiration I was use to people treated me the receptionist like a servant. there was no place to go. I lived in small apartment and slept on the floor of my closet on a borrowed mattress. I had no energy to do martial arts or writing. I was alone in city filled with strangers. I would visit Roy in the hospital and sit on the edge of his bed and hold hands with him. And though Roy and I would laugh as we always did. We would make jokes about his new diet plan when he had a drip and could no longer eat. We would tease about cook kooties when hospital staff tried not to touch him. But over the year I saw him go from a 6.2 strapping blonde to a emaciated 90 pounds I could carry. I would come each night get in the shower and weep uncontrollably after I watched him lose his ability to; walk to see to eat and finally his ability to breathe. I yet I still lived.
I yet I still lived I still woke up in the morning and had grapenuts for breakfast still continued the journey though it was no longer into the sunset but instead through the abysses.. I had no house to ride no sword at my side amour to protect me. All that I had used to define my self was gone I wasn’t a teacher a writer a successful speaker a girlfriend a talented martial artists. I was no longer the happy smiling patti who sang and danced through the day. I was laid bare, and naked to the world , I was reborn.

We have all suffered . Everyone in this room had loss and suffering in their life. It's through that loss of self, the suffering ,the journey through fire that we are made stronger. That we learn to value love.